This is my first blog post (please excuse typos, I'm a terrible editor for my own work). This was something I threw together in a few hours to just sort of get my thoughts on paper. I wrote it more for me and I decided to post it here because fuck it why not? I wanted to make it readable to outside viewers without diving into too many details as it is a little long on it's own. Yes I realize I'm a dumb teenager talking about a girl, HOW ORIGINAL! But if anyone actually takes the time to read it and bore their eyes out then I'd love some feed back. Again, I'm REALLY sorry about the length.
In 2007 the first Assassinís Creed title was released. It was a new IP and it looked exciting. It came out and I couldnít put it down. The game was focused on stealth and assassinating key targets hence the name Assassinís Creed. You played as an assassin named Altair. It felt new and fresh compared to the slew of first person shooters that were out, but there was something about it that felt contained. It felt like it wasnít living up to its potential.
Sarah and I began our friendship and we just clicked. We had very similar interests, we got along, and felt so comfortable around each other. We could say and do whatever we wanted and not feel weird or embarrassed. But just like Assassinís Creed our friendship felt contained, like her and I should have been more than friends. There was a tension where we didnít want to ruin it but we both knew what we wanted.
In 2009 Assassinís Creed 2 is released. The game was bigger and more refined. There were new features and everything felt better, like it knew what it wanted and it did just that. The game still had the familiar feel but did what it needed to expand. You were in new locations, you had new weapons, you played as a new protagonist, Ezio, but the gameplay was still intact from the first one.
Sarah and I took our relationship to the next level as we became boyfriend and girlfriend. Everything was perfect. Weíd go on dates and we could do anything. It didnít matter what situation we were in because we always had fun. Even if we were just sitting, cuddling, and listening to music and not saying a single word to each other we felt happy. She was still Sarah and I was still me but that sense of containment was gone. We could kiss, we could cuddle, or just embrace each other without worrying about how the other felt. It felt like we were living up to our potential. We felt free.
In early 2010 Ubisoft made a surprise announcement by announcing a new Assassinís Creed game that would be released that fall. Assassinís Creed Brotherhood came out exactly when Ubisoft said it would. The game continued the series and felt very familiar to AC II. There was something off about it though. It didnít feel exactly the same. The game felt rushed and like it was lacking that quality of care and love. It felt more like it was just going through the motions. I wouldnít go as far as to say it was a disappointment but it felt like couldíve been better. Ubisoft said the franchise would take a break for a bit before coming back with AC III. But you can never trust a publisher; there was something being planned in the dark.
Sarah and I started the second month of our relationship in July. The first month was great as previously explained. Just as quickly as Assassinís Creed Brotherhood had come out and felt different, so did our relationship. On the fourth of July we went to a party at our friend Bethís house. It was a normal family/friends party. Burgers, hot dogs, volleyball, and a pool. After the fireworks I had to take one of my friends home. Sarah had made plans to sleepover Bethís house so she stayed behind. After I dropped my friend off I called Beth to see if they were still hanging out. She said yes but that people were beginning to leave. I was really tired that day and so I said that Iíd just head home and see them the next day.
It turns out people decided to stay when Bethís dad told them they could play beer pong using Mikeís Hard Lemonade. They all played, even Sarah. Iím not a drinker. I donít care if you do but I just donít partake in it. Sarah used to be like me, she was never against drinking she just said she didnít want to. Sarah was 16 at the time of the fourth of July and it was her first time drinking. One or two of my friends told her not to tell me for fear that I would get mad. She told me the next day and I wasnít mad and told her she didnít have anything to worry about. After this I could see the changes immediately. There was something different. She began hanging out with two of my friends, David and Harold, way more than she used too. They like to live on the edge. They drink, David smokes pot, and theyíll drive crazily down the street. Sarah realized she liked living like that. Iím not that type of person. I could tell she did and so I talked to her about it. I told her how I felt bad that I couldnít make her happy in that way. She told me that it doesnít matter what they do or how happy they make her because no matter what they could never make her as happy as I make her.
Even with all that she said and told me our relationship didnít feel right, when she told me she loved me or kissed me it felt like we were just going through the motions. It felt more like a hiccup than anything and I was hoping weíd get past it. But there was something hiding in the darkness of my mind that told me it wouldnít.
Early 2011 rolls around and just like early 2010 a new Assassinís Creed game was announced. Assassinís Creed Revelations was released in the fall and was the biggest misstep the series had seen yet. The game no longer cared about stealth, it focused much more on combat. Not only that, but the missions no longer focused on you assassinating people. The name of the game is Assassinís Creed and you no longer assassinated people, it was bullshit. To be fair Brotherhood started the drift away from assassinations which was one of the reasons it felt different. Revelations completely lacked any traits from the previous ones other than the aesthetics. It was a boring monotonous mess of a game. The game tried to trick you into thinking it was the like the other ones by taking you to locations from the first one and switching between the protagonists from the first and second one. It wanted you to believe that it was still Assassinís Creed but it was too late and you could see just how devoid of love and it really was.
The second half of July did not fare any better than the first half. Sarah and I were still hanging out every day but we no longer went on dates. She always wanted to hang out in groups. I donít mind hanging out I groups but I prefer one on one. I prefer intimate conversations and talking about personal things. I also like the feeling of being alone with someone you care deeply about.
When we hung out in groups I no longer existed in Sarahís eyes. I would see the way sheíd act around my other friends. Constantly jumping on them, poking them, grabbing them, making jokes and just having fun. She wouldnít even acknowledge me. I wasnít there anymore to her. And when we were alone we no longer talked, we no longer texted, and our silences no longer felt comfortable. Everything we had from that first month was gone. She was a different person. She wanted to be crazy. She didnít want to talk about anything meaningful with me anymore. We still kissed, we still said ďI love youĒ. But there was no love, there was no spark in the kisses. We were devoid of love. Mid-late July came around and we ended it.
Assassinís Creed III came out in 2012 of course. It looked great. It had the same Assassinís Creed style. Almost everything was different. A new combat system, a totally new location, a new assassin, and new gameplay features. I would argue that it was a bigger jump from Revelations to 3 than the jump from 1 to 2. But even with this new iteration and the claims from Ubisoft that it was an Assassinís Creed game it felt even more devoid. I did not like Assassinís Creed III at all. The franchise wasnít even a shadow of its former self at this point. It was something completely different. A mission that requires you to ride a horse from town to town with Paul Revere is not a fun activity for the player to do. Another mission that has you walking back and forth from three different cannons to stop waves of troops is uninspiring and feels thrown in just to add length to the game. I wasnít sure if I really even wanted another Assassinís Creed game after the mess that was Revelations. But when I saw Assassinís Creed III I felt that feeling I felt when I saw the first one. It looked so good, it still had that Assassinís Creed look. The running and climbing looked better than ever. It still had its style, but that was all on the surface. The game that Assassinís Creed 3 was, was not the game that the first two were.
Sarah and I are trying to be friends, not hard I might add. I donít go out of my way to hang out with her. If I donít have to then I wonít. The group of friends that I had has now been split into two. One group consisting of Sarah, Harold, and David. The other containing Beth, Chris, and me. Every morning Harold, David and Sarah hang out. Since I donít go out of my way to hang out with her, Iíll just hang out with Beth and Chris. If they want the groups to join together for a day I donít say no, I say okay. Sarah and I will say hi but we wonít talk. We keep our distance and thatís about it.
When I see her, she looks like Sarah. I see her beautiful face and Iím still attracted to it, but the person she has become, the person that wants to drink a lot, the person that wants to do illegal things, and the person that cuts herself is not the person I fell for. She may look the same but the person inside is not Sarah or at least the Sarah that I knew. Maybe this was the real Sarah all along and itís only now that she surfaced.
Assassinís Creed IV is unsurprisingly coming out this year. Itís different this time. Different in the best way possible though. Assassination missions are back and stealth is back. Those two things wouldíve been enough to bring me back. Not only that but the game is pirate themed and as someone who has been designing a pirate game in their head for the past three years this is the best possible thing and the worst possible thing. The example I give to people to sell them on why they would want to play my pirate game is one of the examples Ubisoft is showing off to sell the game. Itís almost like my dream game with the only exception being that I didnít make it. The game looks fantastic. The game has my favorite setting, the Caribbean. Just one or two of the four things mentioned, again wouldíve sold me. The Caribbean, the stealth, the assassinations, and the theme of pirates. All they needed was one or two and they have them all.
If life continues the way the franchise continues then Sarah will become irresistible soon. They only difference right now between Sarah and Assassinís Creed is that I want to love Assassinís Creed again while I donít want to love Sarah again. I donít want to fall for her again. I donít want to get sucked back in. I just want to go to college and forget about her. But I also donít want to forget about her. She was my first. My first kiss, my first girlfriend, and the first girl to not only say yes to a date with me not just out of pity but also the first girl to like me as more than a friend. She made me happy and I know I made her happy too. Even if the happiness only lasted for a month, I had a good time. I wonít forget her and Iíll use what I learn to guide me through the next girl. So until the next girl comes into my life, I will just set sail on my ship and ride the wild sea.