This post wouldn't be complete without tagging this image to it.
6. Use trite phrases like your life depends on them.
Make sure when you read an article about either the Wii not having a hard drive option, or the Ps3 not having backwards compatibility, insert "shot themselves in the foot" or the occasional "gimped" and what comment is complete without the obligatory "BS3 sucks". This will ensure that you shed your glorious wealth of knowledge on the misguided and unintelligent. An act such as this will never cause anyone to dread your occasional trolling of the site. Also "too hard to develop for" and "BS3 has no games!"
5. Halo Is God.
Personal preference plays no part here, if you say you do not like Halo you are a lying fucking fanboy and you deserve to be shit upon by four naked elderly men with Viagra induced erections, end of story.
4. No matter how many times you have to send in your console for repair, you will never "jump ship" and buy a different console. That would be heresy. So your 360 red ringed again, or it stopped reading disks, maybe it started scratching disks, possibly your power supply even failed. These things are minor setbacks, you shouldn't criticize a company for making a console that occasionally misbehaves. Because even though you aren't currently playing it, at least it has backwards compatibility, even though it still won't play PS2 games. Besides, "things break" right?
3. Even though the games are what is important when deciding which console is the best, BluRay sucks and digital distribution will take over soon anyway. Just because a disk gives instant gratification and gives owners something to collect, doesn't mean people want them. The internet is fast as shit right? So you should be able to watch HD right from there. Forget the fact that people have been plunking down thousands of dollars to get an HDTV that displays an amazing picture. They wanted the best picture quality so they could watch videos that they have on their iPod. When you are looking for a video to watch on the internet the best thing to do here is make sure it's tagged HD, that way you know it looks just as good as a Bluray.
2. When a game, exclusive to an obviously inferior console, is about to launch, make sure you read the "First Impressions" and "Hands On" articles from various sites strewn across the intertubes. Your studying of these articles will not go unrewarded, you may be able to send a tip to your favorite video game blog site to inform them how broken the game, you didn't want to play anyway, will be.
1. MGS4 is definitely coming to the 360.
Not that you want to play it or anything, because it's over hyped and stealth games are for whiny little pussies. You just need to make sure that you can take away the one thing that people want on the BS3, which btw sucks because it's gimped and has no games because they shot themselves in the foot and made it too hard to develop for.