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6. What Nintendo does, they do it right, always. You should never EVAR criticize our mother for making an online system that requires you to use numbers to identify yourself. Never question the mother's sustenance or she'll take it away. Mother will not accept your input. It's perfect anyway, why would you want to change it? Mother is intuitive too, she knows what's best for you.
5. Online? It's totally sweet! You can check the weather, look at the internet, and all that cool jazz. All I have to do is make send an invite to my buddy (1784 2382 6090) and we're off, and brawling, or racing, whichever one we feel like doing. Anything goes. Free is awesome, I don't have to worry about those annoying [screen name is online] messages, or get my inbox cluttered with voice messages. It's very intuitive.
4. Make sure you check up on any forums and blogs that are talking about the next upcoming Wii game. You are the only one that is going to be able to police the madness. People will be trolling around saying completely bias things like, "this game isn't for me" and "I've never been very good at smash brothers". You must intervene when they cross those lines. Remember intuitiveness. Remind the foolish sheople that they are only doing what they are being brainwashed to do by the giant marketing campaigns like the ones for Halo3 and GTAIV.
3. Everyone is buying it, so it must be the best. Console sales are extremely important, because if the mass market is gobbling up your favorite device, it means it's perfect for everyone. Nintendo didn't change their console to fit a mass appeal, no they made their machine for you, the hardcore. It just so happens to appeal to the mainstream. Being that it's so intuitive and all.
2. Graphics don't matter, it's the game-play that counts. All those people playing GTAIV, they aren't having fun. Graphics =/= fun. That whole COD4 craze, that was all just people standing around in the game looking at all the pretty textures and lighting effects, they never actually completed any missions or anything, they never stop to realize that they aren't having fun. Plus those games aren't very intuitive anyway.
1. Whenever a game gets rumored to come out, let people know how good it will be with motion controls. Okami? Awesome game on the PS2, flawless for the Wii. Metroid's controls are also the most perfect first person shooter controls ever devised. It's all about intuition. If you didn't notice, you should be spewing the word intuitive all over the internet so much that it shows up on every forum imaginable. Forget what intuitive means, just know that the reason there are so many control schemes for Brawl is because the game's controls are so intuitive that you can use your intuition to decide which control you like the most.
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6. You may have to go out of your way and pay extra to get a rumble controller, but at least your console doesn't RROD. Obviously rumble at the same time as motion control makes no sense, if it shakes the controller, it will make your character on the screen shake. Good thing they figured that out.
5. The PS3 is totally raping the Xbox360 in sales in Japan. Forget how many Wiis and PSPs consistantly go out the door, your PS3 is still selling by almost 10:1 over the 360... in Japan. I don't think the Japanese people like 3 red lights flashing at them.
4. PS3 has BluRay, therefore it's games will be longer. 50GB is a lot of space, that's about 5 times more than the Xbox 360's drive, therefore the games should be around 5 times longer. In fact, if MGS4 were ever to go to the 360 ,which will never happen because Kojima totally hates Microsoft, they would have to make it one fifth the length. It's science, and fact. Plus, those graphics would make the 360 run so hot that it would probably RROD anyway.
3. The Playstation3 is so powerful that one day it will cause the Robot Apocolypse after it becomes self aware. Developers are lazy, they don't want to spend the money and time to make a PS3 look as good as the 360 version because they are lazy. If they would simply study the hardware, then all games on the ps3 would look like that E3 2005 Killzone demo. Seriously, how hard can it be? As long as it doesn't RROD.
2. You can't message your friends while you are in a game, but at least you aren't paying money to be able to do it. You don't have to pay to play online, a few dollars a month is totally not worth the one or two advantages of Live, why pay for something that is just going to crash during the holidays anyway. Plus, if Live doesn't go down, it will probably RROD anyway.
1. RROD, RROD, are you getting the picture yet? Red Ring of Death is the most problematic problem that has ever occured in any electronic device ever. And you don't have to worry about it. But you damn well better not let anyone else forget about it.
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This post wouldn't be complete without tagging this image to it.
6. Use trite phrases like your life depends on them.
Make sure when you read an article about either the Wii not having a hard drive option, or the Ps3 not having backwards compatibility, insert "shot themselves in the foot" or the occasional "gimped" and what comment is complete without the obligatory "BS3 sucks". This will ensure that you shed your glorious wealth of knowledge on the misguided and unintelligent. An act such as this will never cause anyone to dread your occasional trolling of the site. Also "too hard to develop for" and "BS3 has no games!"
5. Halo Is God.
Personal preference plays no part here, if you say you do not like Halo you are a lying fucking fanboy and you deserve to be shit upon by four naked elderly men with Viagra induced erections, end of story.
4. No matter how many times you have to send in your console for repair, you will never "jump ship" and buy a different console. That would be heresy. So your 360 red ringed again, or it stopped reading disks, maybe it started scratching disks, possibly your power supply even failed. These things are minor setbacks, you shouldn't criticize a company for making a console that occasionally misbehaves. Because even though you aren't currently playing it, at least it has backwards compatibility, even though it still won't play PS2 games. Besides, "things break" right?
3. Even though the games are what is important when deciding which console is the best, BluRay sucks and digital distribution will take over soon anyway. Just because a disk gives instant gratification and gives owners something to collect, doesn't mean people want them. The internet is fast as shit right? So you should be able to watch HD right from there. Forget the fact that people have been plunking down thousands of dollars to get an HDTV that displays an amazing picture. They wanted the best picture quality so they could watch videos that they have on their iPod. When you are looking for a video to watch on the internet the best thing to do here is make sure it's tagged HD, that way you know it looks just as good as a Bluray.
2. When a game, exclusive to an obviously inferior console, is about to launch, make sure you read the "First Impressions" and "Hands On" articles from various sites strewn across the intertubes. Your studying of these articles will not go unrewarded, you may be able to send a tip to your favorite video game blog site to inform them how broken the game, you didn't want to play anyway, will be.
1. MGS4 is definitely coming to the 360.
Not that you want to play it or anything, because it's over hyped and stealth games are for whiny little pussies. You just need to make sure that you can take away the one thing that people want on the BS3, which btw sucks because it's gimped and has no games because they shot themselves in the foot and made it too hard to develop for.
Look for the other 2 coming soon.
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Some of you may remember my other tv that I posted in my obligatory "my setup" post. Anyway, yesterday after buying an RCA (720p) tv for $898 I found out that it didn't display enough colors when I hooked up the ps3 via HDMI. It was horrible, it separated any gradients into tiger stripes. So I did what every good walmart shopper does, I took it back to exchange it for the Vizio. The TV rep. told me about a 1080p Vizio that wasn't on the display floor, which was only $998. So I bought it.
Anyway, this is a picture of my OLD tv.
And my new, Vizio 42" 1080p LCD.
So I'm going to enjoy my night with GTAIV.
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In an interview with 1up, Sam Houser, founder of Rockstar Games, says a couple of things regarding the lack of a significant HDD in all 360s. Also, a little tidbit about the 360's disc medium. He wants to know where the future proofing will begin.
He states that there are some issues when not using a larger disc medium than DVDs, you can come into some sticky spots.
"One of the problems with the 360, and it affects games like Grand Theft Auto if you think about how much content we put in the actual machine, is the fact that they don't have a significantly larger storage medium than the previous systems.
....
I think that the 360 is going to have to get 'round this issue we're talking about. I can think of various ways they can do it. Hopefully, they're going to adopt one of those in the next year or so, because it's going to become more of an issue. If we're filling up the disc right now, where are we going? It's not like our games are going to get any smaller. I think that issue's on the table with a bunch of games right now. I'm sure they'll come through with an intelligent solution."
These are words I've been saying for a long time. In no other system has a company used a previous generation's storage medium to sell their games on. A new console's games are going to be bigger, and they are going to need more space. If you can't at least cache data on and off of the hard drive because it's not standard, what do you do?
Anyway, so as to not leave a bad taste in your mouth, he praises both systems and states:
"Both have plusses and minuses. As far as I'm concerned, they're neck and neck now."
There you go, both GTAs will be awesome, but what about GTA5?
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I can't sign up even though the site is up. I keep getting this...
It's pissing me RIGHT THE FUCK OFF!!!!
Anyone having the same problem as I?
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This website shows 3 good shots of Gears2. Originating from a game informer magazine, lots of the images are shitty, blurry cell-phone-esque shots.
By the looks of the cowboy, we should be seeing more of a guerrilla warfare colony. I think it looks all good, how 'bout you?
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Let me give you some background on me for a second.
I am a radio station board op/engineer. I have a Bachelor of Science degree in broadcasting (all forms studied). I am a video enthusiast. Video enthusiast you ask? Yes, I love to shoot, edit, and print video.
Dvds look fine to me!
It blows my mind to think that people think there really isn't anything that HD does better than the previous standard of video quality. Why don't I call it standard? Because everyone who is creating visual media, has either switched, or is in the process of switching to HD. HD will be considered standard definition soon.
When black and white television was the norm, it was being propagated using NTSC techniques. When they added color to it a couple of years later, they simply simulcast the chroma (color) information along side the B&W video. This is why the picture goes to B&W when you are getting a weak signal. America (and some other countries) have been using this method of video propagation since 1953.
Dvd quality baby!
Why, I ask politely, would you want to watch video which is no more advanced than that which was propagated in 1953? Yes, cameras have gotten better. Yes, televisions have gotten better. Yes, our medium in which we store the data has gotten better. But the same constrictions apply to video on a DVD as they did in 1953. This is because NTSC cannot display anything in white, and it cannot either display anything in black. Only various levels of gray. These restrictions are limiting the dvds visual fidelity. That's why when you watch HD video, then begin watching video on a dvd, black looks like dark gray, and white looks like really light gray. {[(Upscaling doesn't add color and contrast)]}
These are all the colors and values you will see on a dvd, yep, that's all of 'em.
I hear some of you crying about downloadable video already, so here you go. Video on the internet, (even if it says "HD" on it) will not be HD as you would watch over a digital HD broadcast. In fact, it's not even quite where previous definition dvds are. Need more info about this? GO HERE! No, your Xbox live videos are not even SD, you are being ripped off.
This is HD? WTF did I pay so much for?
You buy new computers when you can't surf the internet anymore, you buy new consoles when you can't play the newest games on it. HD is unavoidable, and that's a good thing. So, the sooner you assimilate, the sooner we can all bask in HD beauty.
The longer you wait, the longer -everybody- has to wait.
Point being: -Go- -buy- -HD- -products-
Stop holding the rest of America back and start enjoying the next step in the history of technology.
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