Games on wii, 360, PS2, PSP, DS, PC. Will game on PS3 at team ico's next release. Did a barrel roll. Knows what can change the nature of a man. Loved not well, but too wisely. Is a spoony bard. Wonders why so many wolves have to die. Thinks, but probably isn't. Wears a kuribo's shoe. Dabbled in pacifism once, not in 'nam of course. Will play your love zones like a parrot stuck inside a grand piano. Is a miserable pile of antonyms. Collaborated with the combine. Is more handsome unshaved. Thinks only in metaphors. Has a mysterious past. Is still looking for the spot where truth echoes. Resides in ireland.
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There's a good chance a lot of people - who might by whatever chance read this - already know most of what I'm going to say, but for the sake of people lacking in Internet Mattlockery skillz(and who didn't read the comments of the Portal review), I thought I'd give a run down of the out of all the game's story available outside the confines of the source engine.

For starters, the main character is called Chell. I'm not sure how this was found out exactly, but I'm guessing it was by people checking the names of the character models in their install directory, just like with Barney and the G-Man before. But who exactly is Chell? Why is she in the Enrichment Centre? Read on, intrepid web denizen, and all will be made vaguely clear.

The main source of extragame annals is the official Aperture Science website. I advise people to try and figure out what to do with it themselves(might help to give Portal another run through), but for the lazy I'll give instructions after the spoiler warning.

Once you go to the site, click somewhere in the middle of the screen to focus on the flash window, then type "login", "cjohnson" when it prompts for a username and "tier3" for the password. The main things of interest can be accessed using the "notes" and "apply" commands, although you can list a bunch of other commands by inputting "help". None of the other commands seem to do much, but if you find out anything amusing to do with them, I'd like to know.


Old news is, of course, old. But I'm bored off my arse at work, so ye're just have to deal with yet more Portal flavoured waffle. Well, at least I never mentioned the weighted companion cube or delicious & moist cake...

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