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12:33 AM on 02.26.2008

EA is like...

EA is like a dirty old wall street man, who's got the hots for this jailbait chick, Take 2, and is just standing outside her window holding a sign that says "LET'S FUCK!"

Take 2 is the hot lesbian who doesn't give a shit about what people think of her and is disgusted by the ugly old man, who's now naked, standing outside. He tries to impress her by shitting out a lump that says "Madden" on the side of it, but she just screams and closes the curtains.

So then EA gets pissed and he busts into the house and kills Take 2's parents and then adopts Take 2. Now Take 2 is EA's bitch and EA decides that Take 2's arms and legs are making her too independent, so EA cuts them off and demands Take 2 make him some dinner, but she can't even fucking move. So, tired of waiting for the magic to happen, EA just fucking buries Take 2 alive in the backyard, right next to Bullfrog, Westwood, Orgin and other unidentified mounds.

EA wipes it's brow then waddles back inside and begins thumbing through the white pages for Ubisoft's address.   read

4:15 AM on 01.23.2008

Animation fans...

A shameful plug is beyond this sentence, if this frightens you, look away!

So if you're into animation, I've started what I would like to become the Dtoid of animation sites. Basically it's a site that spotlights cool comics/cartoons on the web & on TV and eventually we'll start doing our own stuff as well.

Kind of like Newgrounds, but without the shitty sprite fight animations and the 12-year-old douche bags (our douche bags are 18+).

It's pretty bare right now, mainly because I need more help on it. If you're interested, post a comment. I need writers, animators, artists and smartasses. Bonus if you're all of the above.

But anywho, the link is Like I said, it's pretty bare right now because we're JUST starting, but hopefully soon we'll have a full service snack bar with nachos.   read

3:22 AM on 09.27.2007

Bungie forgot that Halo 3 supports 16 players?

How come every single ranked playlist on Halo 3 caps the player limit at 8? How am I supposed to rack up triple kills and run over unsuspecting children with the Mongoose if there's only 4 people on a team? The social playlists don't even go over 12! I know they can change the playlists at any time, but what's the point of multiplayer if you don't use it's full extent with an almighty team objective 16 player slayfest? There's a huge hole in my Halo Heart.

I'm tired of rinky dink 3v3 and 4v4 matches, this isn't Dreamcast.   read

4:59 PM on 09.12.2007

No more Nintendo Fusion Tour?

Hm, the Nintendo Fusion Tour is either sung it's last note or entered into hiatus. Usually it kicks off about this time each year, but the Tour's website now just redirects to and the Wiki lists no information on 2007.

It's kind of a shame, seeing as the tour usually had bands that were on the cuff of going big and most of them did soon after the tour. Plus of course, there was free Nintendo schwag and playables. Maybe Nintendo is tired of shelling out money to entice the teenagers?   read

2:11 AM on 08.13.2007

Download Complete!

So I guess I had better luck than some with the Bioshock demo download, as I actually got it in under 3 hours.

I can't judge it too much from the demo, but it is SHORT AS HELL. Other than that, it looks damn cool. The art director deserves an award or awards. The 40s-50s atmosphere is nailed and combined with the underwater city feel to a T. I love all the billboards and posters that line the halls, advertising everything from cigarettes to various brands of plasmoids. The various clips of music sound like something you'd hear in that era, complete with scratchy phonograph quality sound. The graphics look pretty nice, the water especially is cool. Is water the new sun flare? I know Bungie keeps raving about how they put all this money into the water in Halo 3. Or is that just a metaphor for something else?

The whole thing reminds me of Myst. Being tossed into a totally unknown world, with the user really getting no backstory on who they're even playing. The difference being Myst wasn't overun with mutant psychos at every turn.

It seems quite a bit more linear than I thought, maybe that's just the demo, but I've had the feeling all along all these "choices" things they keep pushing is more about different ways to kill enemies than different paths through levels and different outcomes. I'd probably enjoy just roaming the city snadbox style, but then someone would accuse it of being "GTA Underwater."

I've elevated Bioshock from "rental" to "possible purchase."   read

11:02 PM on 07.25.2007

Blockbuster: Now with Lose and Fail

I love to complain, if you haven't noticed.

How the hell does Blockbuster (Formerly Blockbuster Video) stay open?

I visit my local store once a week or so, sometimes for movies and sometimes for games. Generally their movie selection is fine, however now with RedBox out, I can rent four movies from the big red vending machine for the price of one from Blockbuster.

Yes I know I already fail it for not using Netflix/Gamefly.

But what really makes me FULL OF ANGERS is how Blockbuster handles gaming. Not only do they not get 80% of new releases, but when they do, they rent maybe 1-2 copies of their shipment and try to sell the rest.

Every week, they have racks and racks of Shrek III: The Game and Spider-man 3, but don't even carry Shadowrun, The Bigs, not even Oblivion. They actually even SELL Shadowrun, but don't rent it! I'd love to rent Prey or even Dead Rising, but it's never available as they only have one copy of either of them! This isn't just at one shop, this is even at the other two in the city that have game stores built in! Let's not forget the fact that it costs nearly EIGHT BUCKS to rent there as well.

I realize my easy solution here is to go get Gamefly, which is probably what I'll wind up doing, but Blockbuster is so damn convenient on the way home from work, sadly, I can't count how many times I've left empty handed from that disaster.

On the plus side of things, they now have a subscription plan for CANDY. I kid you not. For only 5.99 a month, I can have one sugary item a day!

-KnuxSonic   read

8:52 PM on 07.17.2007


Why the FUCK did Microsoft put out a camera for the 360? I can play UNO on it and I can put my face in Rainbow Six 3. Why don't you assrape the casual gamers like Nintendo and push this thing like no tomorrow? At least get developers to use the face mapping more, like you could with the EyeToy back on PS2.

I can't even use this dumb thing on my PC because Microsoft's drivers are hopelessly borken beyond repair.

I fling it on the floor in disgust of a perfectly good waste of technology.

The End.   read

2:54 AM on 06.30.2007

MLB 2K7 patch fixes bugs, breaks game

I'm an MLB 2K7 addict, I'll admit it. You can check my 360's Blog and see for yourself how shameful I am (thank God my hours logged on the Shadowrun demo don't show up).

So yesterday 2K Sports releases a patch to fix various things including the horrible fielding camera. Kudos to them, because 2K is terrible about not fixing ANYTHING until the next year's game (call it, gorilla marketing). But low and behold, this so called "patch" is more like a semi-truck running over your game disc as it actually BREAKS the game to the point where it's unplayable.

Okay, so it's not UNPLAYABLE, but every single save file comes up as "Damaged" from now on. This is particularly a punch in the face if you were in the middle of a season, franchise or a GM Career. I don't remember shaking my 360's hard drive or attaching my magnetic Trollz to it, so what gives?

I'll give 2K Sports a few days to figure it out, but it's not fixed within a week or so, I'll be inquiring about a refund, get rejected, fume here again, cool off and eventually throw it away and hold a grade-school grudge.   read

11:10 PM on 06.20.2007

Nintendo, Sony admit to being huge pansies

I can't believe that Sony and Nintendo have come out AGAINST a game. Seriously, you're denying something that your system THRIVES on, a game, from reaching retail.

Not that they'd reach retail ANYWAY because we have these shit-headed stores that will sell unrated DVD's but NOT a RATED video game.

But that's okay because it's a MOVIE and MOVIES are good while GAMES are BAD.

WHO FAILS IT? Nintendo. Sony. Retailers.   read

1:54 AM on 06.17.2007

Nigeiran Scammers Invading eBay

I was attempting to unload some junk in exchange for dollar-monies, in particular an old cell phone and an MP3 player. I was delighted when someone bought the MP3 player right away, but suspicious when I found they had just joined eBay, with no feedback. My suspisious were full filled when she sent me this email:

[i]"Dear Seller,
I am Mrs Victoria Bergsma, i made buy it now option on your item place at ebay and i have been notified by them to contact u and also if u can get back to me as soon as possible,i will be very glad.I am on my business trip now, and i purchase the item to present it to my Daugther in Lagos Nigeria for her coming birthday that she about to do next week,So i will like u to get back to me as soon as possible then i want you to caculate the total amount of the item with the shipping cost to lagos Nigeria so that i will be able to send the payment to you and when u are notified of the payment u can be able to send the item to my Daugther immediately,in Lagos Nigeria and I will be sending you payment via PayPal,so kindly send me PAYPAL EMAIL ADDRESS so as to immedaitely make out your payment.Kindly reply to my email asap so that we can sort it and the item can get to my Daugther immediately before her birthday.Plz i want the item to be sihpped via (USPS-Emx Overnight Delivery) shipping to Nigeria am not worry about the shipping cost, HERE'S THE RECIEVER INFORMATION


What a whore. I'm going to send her some rotting meat.

EDIT: Fixed da spellin'.   read

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