The following is a pictorial account of the creation of The Greatest Joystick Ever ®. Very big thanks to Hitogoroshi for providing the art from his treasured poster, and Matt Razak for allowing me to borrow his laptop for an ungodly amount of time in order to scan the monstrosity.


Started off following some templates found on slagcoin. This gave me the basic pattern needed for button and joystick hole placement. I wound up moving the joystick hole for more comfort. The button holes were drilled with a 1 3/16" hole saw, and the joystick was drilled with a 15/16" hole saw.


Gizmo looks on as I fit my old Hori buttons in the brand new panel.


I am saddened by the fact that Street Fighter Mania has swept the country, and caused ridiculous back orders at Lizard Lick.


Comparing the different versions of the art I had come up with.


OMG! What's this?! Two packages from Raleigh, North Carolina?!


I'm so happy! [Notice the size of the goatee compared to the sad picture. Gives a nice reference of how long I waited (2 months)]


Buttons! Technically, Seimitsu PS-14-GN 30mm and PS-14-DN 24mm pushbuttons with clear plungers, in white and black.


Routed some space around the panel button holes, in order to be able to screw on the button nut.


Routed a hole for the joystick to be mounted in.


Toodles Cthulhu PC/PS3 Board unassembled kit. It basically works the same as a controller, without all that pesky space that an actual controller PCB takes up.


Same as the last picture, but assembled! I wound up not putting it in at this point, since I likely killed the PIC because I'm an idiot and forgot to remove it when I soldered the IC socket to the board. I'll probably get a new chip in the future and add PS3 support to it.


The joystick is mounted in the panel. Model is Seimitsu LS-32-01 ball handle, with a 5-pin wiring harness.


Final art, printed with some holes cut in it for everything to come through.


Buttons and joystick are mounted on the panel. Now we're getting somewhere.


Ooooh. Pretty.


Madcatz 360 controller PCB, with a mess of wires soldered and glued in place.


Same as before, but now with more wires!


Cutting the frame down to size, with 45 degree mitre joints.


Back panel, with three button holes, and one switch hole, sunk and routed to round the edges.


Koko sleeping, for some reason, on a pack of 000 steel wool and a can of black satin stain + polyurethane.


Gluing the frame together. Bottom panel keeping it in a square shape.


Yay! The frame is all together!


First coat of stain is on and drying. Still not very glossy.


Second coat is on. Now there's the glossy look I was trying to get.


Staining the bottom and gluing the panel supports in place.


Buttons, switch, and wire are all mounted and in place!


Look how clean and organized it is! [Take note, because it didn't stay that way for long]


And here comes the tentacle rape.


Bottom panel and rubber feet are mounted. We're almost done!




The finished product. It plays beautifully. And now if/when it breaks, I know how to fix it, unlike stupid Hori sticks that break randomly.

Here's your wake up call!

I'm feeling left out, so I thought I'd let you all know a little more about me.



1. I used to draw extensively. But then one of my better friends who I would draw with went to a different school. And I started working with computers, which took my attention away from drawing even more. And the art program at my high school tried to get me to focus on more paint and collage and other mediums, when I obviously didn't care for them, which kind of killed my enthusiasm for art in general.

2. I married my "high school sweetheart" after being with her for 7 years. She really wasn't my high school sweet heart since we didn't start seeing each other until the last two months of my senior year.

3. I'm extremely shy. With almost everything. I even feel embarassed if I sing in front of my wife.

4. I probably broke my hand punching concrete after an argument. Never went to the doctor to get it checked out, but it swelled up to twice the size of normal and I couldn't touch my palm with my two outer fingers.

5. I learned how to hang-glide on my 1-year marriage anniversary. I did so well that my instructor told me that I should test for my Hang-1 certification. But since I don't live near anywhere I could continue to learn, I didn't do it. I'm extremely disappointed, because it was really fun. For my two year anniversary, I'm going skydiving.

6. I've never left the country, or been further south than Beaufort, SC or further north than Vermont. The furthest west I've been was Las Vegas, when I got married, and I didn't like it very much. I prefer Atlantic City for my debauchery needs.

7. I and my brothers traded in our entire collection of NES games for Turok for the N64. Blindside would be so proud of us.

8. I love skateboarding, even though I'm extremely bad at it. I think its just the part of me that doesn't mind falling down and loves acting like a goof. It goes along with the part of me that bought Soap shoes and the part that slides around on ice whenever it snows.

9. I'm mentioned in the liner notes for Comin Correct's In Memory Of... album. Mark Palese, their guitarist, got his start in a local band (My Body My Blood) that was really friendly with everyone who wasn't a holier-than-thou scenester. We ended up getting pretty friendly, and I even created a website for My Body My Blood, so he thanked me, my brothers, and a few of my friends in the Comin Correct liner.

10. I prefer camping to staying anywhere fancy. Its also one of the only times I can completely cut myself off from the outside world. Every other day I'm constantly connected, using a computer, or playing games. But camping is the time for me to turn all that off and explore.

BONUS FACT! 11. I got thrown out of a Biohazard show for fighting with bouncers. One bouncer had a stick up his ass and and kept throwing me into the pit. My uncle asked him to stop a few times, and the last time, the bouncer threw a punch at him. Uncle kicked his ass, my brother kicked another bouncer's ass, I got put in the weakest full nelson ever after pouncing on a bouncer and beating his face in and was then escorted out the door, where they tried to throw me into the door frame, but I stopped it from happening by putting my foot in the way. Seriously, this guy was probably the worst bouncer ever. Couldn't even manhandle my 5'3", 130lb ass.

I recently felt the need to replace the ailing buttons and joystick on my Hori Fighting Stick EX2, so I got the required materials and did so. Following the instructions here and here, I went about the task. What I did was replaced all of the original Hori buttons with Sanwa OBSF-30 buttons, colors yellow, orange, and vermillion and the joystick with a Sanwa JLF-TP-8T joystick. The end result is a much snappier feeling joystick, without buttons that stick when you press them. Also, Zangief (drawn by Gabe of Penny Arcade, scanned from Street Fighter Tribute).

Sparked by a trip to SuperFresh to get some biscuits for dinner, I came across some huge pumpkins for $3. Thus, I was inspired to create a nerdy pumpkin for Halloween. I did all the carving with my Dremel rotary tool and a dinner knife. To keep it from rotting, I covered it in WD-40.


This is the initial sketch. I drew it with a pen so I could erase it with soap and water if I screwed up really badly.


Here it is before I skinned it down past the membrane. At this point, it looks the most like a "real" metroid.


Skinned it down past the membrane, and now it's ready to be lit up for the first time.


You can't actually see the real first time it was lit up. I only used one candle at first, and no light came through. I had to add 5 more to make it look good. For the rest of the process of carving it, I used a flashlight instead of lighting six candles every time I made a small change.


The pincers were cut out fully to make that part shine the brightest.


Here is a picture of me carving it. I started it while my wife was at work, so she took it when she came home.


This is the final revision. All of the metroid is completely skinned. The brain things in the center are rounded, and the things that attach them to the rest of the metroid fade away into the rest of it now.


Here it is lit up with a flashlight in the kitchen. This picture was taken with a muffled flash, so I could show more detail.


This is it outside on our makeshift patio. The process is complete.


Simulposted at my personal blog.

P.S. - I TOLD YOU BITCHES I WAS READY TO MONDAY
Tune in tomorrow -- same Bat time, same Bat channel -- for another pumpkin. Because, that's right ladies, I'm ready to Tuesday, too.