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About Me
Real name: Mike

Amazing gif!



bleh, man
Age:29
Lives in: Dallas, Tx
Occupation: Mayor of Metro City
Member of: Official Destructoid Beard Club
Consoles: 360, ds, snes, ps2
Hobbies: Games, reading, guitar, drinking

Because The GHost is teh awesome, my dtoid playing card:


Wanderingpixel is also awesome.


Current Games:

All of the things


Old Blogs:
Teh Randomtoid Linktoid (This is all my randomtoid blogs in one spot)
My Dtoid Thank You Note
One year w00t!
Avatar Chat
My Feelings On "Next-Gen"
Bleh-views:
Star Wars: The Force Unleashed
Lost: Via Domus
Community Discussion Time!
Gaming Journalism
Oh snap! Front paged!
Playing with Others: The Death of Split-Screen



My Hero:



My Left 4 Dead Dream Movie



Longcat:



Myspace profile: what the fuck is a myspace and when did this get here?

To e-mail malicious hatemail: blehman646@gmail.com

To whomever drew my header: Awesome
Note: old header link here

For Wiisucks:
Hi! My name is Jack Klassen.! I'm a completely ordinary teenage boy from San Diego, California. My interests include soccer, surfing, writing poetry, and luge. I am homeschooled by my father who fought in the Korean War and was exposed to nerve gas. He is kind of crazy but I still love him. We got the Internet two years ago and I started making new friends on Yahoo! messenger. Surprisingly, most of these new friends were older men who wanted to have illegal, underage sex with me. Needless to say, I got a boner like a rocketship and cybersex quickly became my favorite thing in the entire world. Wait, did I say boner like a rocketship? I meant my vagina got as wet as Lake Titicaca. I started saving all of the hot chat sessions I was having with the Pakistanis, lesbians, child molesters and other monsters who were instant messaging me all day and all night, and I decided to put them up here on this website so you can see exactly how disgusting the entire human race is. Since then, I have been in a waterskiing accident that mangled my genitals beyond repair, been diagnosed with cerebral palsy, brain cancer, and Crohn's disease, learned to speak Urdu and French, covered my naked body in superglue, went to French lesbian camp, made a Hindu eat a roast beef sandwich out of my vagina, and ruined perfectly good cybersex for at least one hundred people. Use the menu above to find out more about me and start reading my sexy adventures,





Also, I make people from Pheonix Wright cry:


Also, also, sparkle:


Also, also, also, jiggles:


Also, also, also, also, Trent!


Alsox5, kitteh:


Also, X-mas Shake(a.k.a. itemforty is teh sex)
Gamer Profile
3DS friend code:
Steam: blehmeng
Battle:
PSN:
Mii:
Gamertag: blehmeng
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When the Lobster Milkshake did This Happen?(a.k.a. Niero, have I told you lately I love you, so what am I so afraid of?)
blehman | 2:46 PM on 10.24.2008 27 comments


So, I've been looking around at the new site design, and I gotta say it's looking pretty spiffy. We got the sexy "boxy" design for the links at the top of the page, got the reviews going down the side, fixed the cblog window so it doesn't go straight to the community page anymore when you click on see the next 20, everything looks really nice.

The contest stuff looks pretty cool too, except I dispise flash games. I'm still playing, don't get me wrong I don't know how else you'd set up a competition where it'd be relatively fair to everyone, I just feel really meh about flash games. But that's not the reason I'm writing of right now. No, I came here with a different agenda on my mind.

When the hell did this page come into existance?

That page is the only resource needed to show the little newbs and newbets what we (as a community) really do here. Well, not everyone, but more than not what we do, and what is expected of everyone. It's less harsh than the general flames of the semi-washed masses, and easier to read than VCR instructions. If you don't know what a VCR is, stop reading and get back to studying kids.

But my favorite part? Ohhhhh, my favorite part is right here:

"Getting started on the right foot


Ditch that default "newb" avatar! You should get started by customizing your profile page with an avatar and a brief bio about yourself. You also now have the ability to blog, upload photos and videos, and receive comments and private messages from other community members.
Dtoiders under 18: Please consult your parents before posting any personal or identifying information. Use your head!

After you're set up, try posting a quick "hello" post in our forums to let people you're signed up. Here's an example of how to do it right. If you have a lot to say about yourself, why not try blogging your introduction? Do you know the difference between blogs and forums? It matters quite a bit to our members, so if there's anything you take away from this document it should be the following:



Dtoid Community 101: Forums and Blogs - not the same thing


Contrary to what some people may say, community blogs are NOT like forums. It is important to know the difference. If you don't, you're likely to receive the writer's equivalent of being "booed off stage." Destructoid may be a little different from other blogs you've used before because it is a ***SHARED*** community blog -- a singular weblog updated by thousands of people. A lot of people are reading Destructoid this instant. This is a very active community!



What / when should I post in the community blogs?


Community blogging (or c-blog for short) is appropriate when you have enough to say to *publish a complete article* that can stand on its own -- your blog post should be no shorter than a paragraph and pertain to a topic of interest to other gamers. You can also blog about other stuff, just TAG YOUR POST as "Non-video game related" (NVRG) and blog away. In exchange for your work, you will receive immediate reactions readers in a sequential stream. Blogs comments are not the ideal place to have conversations because comments are typically meant for the entire community to weigh in on. Individual conversations are always best left for forums or via private messaging by clicking into a member's profile.

Before you jump into blogging you should begin by reading the Destructoid home page or Community page to get a sense of what game bloggers do, then check out our community rules. When you're ready to blog, just login to Destructoid and look for the "my blog" options at the top of the page. Whatever you write will be read, guaranteed. No pressure! (haha) You can publish anything you like, but remember that you are sharing this site with other gamers. You will have an engaged audience from day one. Since the blog is shared in a stream, its probably not a good idea to publish 10 articles at once. Get your post in, give others time to respond and post, then post some more. You can manage when your posts go live by managing your stories' privacy settings. Don't blow it -- make a good first impression! Don't fail/suck/etc! Already logged in? Try it out!



When should I start a thread in forums instead?


Forums are meant to foster active conversations. Forum readers do not expect you to organize or present an opinion, facts, or even cohesive paragraphs per se. This is a place to talk. Have a brief question? Want to make a quick comment on a gaming topic to get a group discussion going? Forums are the best place to do this, because conversations are "threaded" -- you can engage various people individually instead of addressing everyone. Try our forums out!. (Note: your login is the same in the forum, but it requires a login with your username instead of your email address. If you end up creating two accounts by accident please contact us and we can merge them.)"



<3333333333

So from now on fellow Dtoiders, if there's a lost newb on the cblocks (c wut i did thur?), just point them out to here instead.

http://www.destructoid.com/elephant/signup_thanks.phtml

Also, Chibi Alien



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26 comments | showing # 1 to 26
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Half left's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2008 14:54
Half left
I prefer the old tab-esque links to the new boxy ones.

(still exist on the forums)

I find it funny that the only ones likely to read that new page are old members. New signups tend to skip through that stuff.
aborto thefetus's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2008 15:14
aborto thefetus
I'd prefer to post pictures of kittens facepalming :P
Darren Nakamura's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2008 15:18
Darren Nakamura
It's new to me, that's for sure.
BluDesign's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2008 15:20
BluDesign
I prefer mustardayonnaise over mayostard.
MrSadistic's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2008 15:31
MrSadistic
I prefer Mr. Pibb over Dr. Pepper.
BlackSheep's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2008 15:32
BlackSheep
i prefer just bitching a new people until they cry, start random arguments back, hate the website

or become full fledged members :)
Char Aznable's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2008 15:35
Char Aznable
Niero has been working his balls off for us lately. Thanks!
falinter's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2008 15:39
falinter
I prefer unsweetened tea over sweetened.

Also, I saw this after the updated site came along. I spent an entire work day click on every single link on the site. BOREDISM
Niero's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2008 15:46
Niero
Its been a long time coming. New people would sign up on the site and they kept getting destroyed if they didn't instantly get what we were about, so somebody had to give them a clue. I think people are at least glancing over it -- when you create a new Dtoid account we send them to that page.

The quality of newbs since has been better since the redesign, don't you think?

Anyway, if you guys have anything additional on there that you'd like to see added please let me know
Wexx's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2008 15:48
Wexx
I prefer apples over Oranges.


You're my hero Blehman. Also: I love this website.
Y0j1mb0's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2008 15:51
Y0j1mb0
Awesome work appreciated Niero.
king3vbo's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2008 15:58
king3vbo
I prefer liquor over beer
eternalplayer2345's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2008 16:15
eternalplayer2345
Always good to give some direction to new users, <3 neiro
mix's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2008 16:19
mix
New to me as well!

After what Neiro said it makes total sense as we are getting some higher quality newbs!

I guess I just never really noticed.
Aaron Mxy Yost's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2008 16:24
Aaron Mxy Yost
Yup, that guide for noobs page is excellent, stumbed onto it a few days ago.
pendelton21's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2008 16:36
pendelton21
*squee* CHIBI ALIEN!!!
Justice's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2008 17:04
Justice
THE BEST THING ABOUT DESTRUCTOID IS THAT IT'S BACK TO THE CLASSIC GREEN AND ORANGE

:D
Mushman's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2008 17:13
Mushman
Nice work, Niero and Dtoid crew, much appreciated. :)
CarlCastello's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2008 18:07
CarlCastello
I must say, as fresh meat, that page really helped me out.
nebones's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2008 18:58
nebones
Good work ;]
Tubatic's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2008 19:22
Tubatic
Nice WOrk Robot Master
Brian Szabelski's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2008 20:44
Brian Szabelski
Niero, I hate to shamelessly plug myself, but I already beat you guys to it. ;) :p
MATTFOO's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2008 21:14
MATTFOO
niero, please add shitting dick nipples.
Niero's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/24/2008 22:00
Niero
wow great guide Nihon! I'll add a link to it from the page
Steel Squirrel's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/25/2008 14:20
Steel Squirrel
Nice, hopefully the rampant newb flaming will be reduced.
Mr Willis13's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/26/2008 21:50
Mr Willis13
Your information is priceless.

I shall take it to heart.
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