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Top Ten Words You NEED to Capitalize to be a Y0j1mb0 Post
blehman \| 10:03 AM on 09.28.2009	26 comments

There's been a lot of geriatric love floating around these parts, what with y0j1mb0 turning 73 a few days ago or whatever, and I thought I'd throw my two cents in, because back when y0j1mb0 was a child that would have bought you something. This is, in effect, a love letter to his style, because much like fat chicks, I don't do old people. And you're welcome about the beard club for men transplant donation I gave you. And I wonder why I'm not on his friends list...

Moving on, I've noticed something about ol' J1mb0's blawgs, something that STANDS OUT when you read the titles, and makes you more likely to jump in and read them. I THINK I've figured out his secret technique and much like a black listed magician have decided to point them out for you in this thirty minute prime time special. Or a Scott Baio Afterschool Special, but, again, Jimbo is probably the only person here old enough to remember that. Well, Elsa too.

Anyway, much like Letterman when Letterman was funny, here's the top ten WORDS that NEED to be CAPITALIZED in YOUR post to BE like Y0J1MBO.

10. NEED

Implies that if you don't read this post, you WILL be left in the dust and lacking things that you sorely need as a competant gamer.

9. ATTENTION

Got yours, didn't I? It draws the eye to the post, and leaves you questioning and begging for more, moar, MOAR.

8. LOVE

Not used in the "Love thy neighbor" way, this LOVE is too much for you to even begin to understand. Or you may think you understand it, but you will never know it in the biblical sense.

7. AAAARRRRGGGHHH

Ummm... Denotes Hulkness? I dunno, I thought it was a funny word.

6. CHEATING

I'll take things I did with your mother last night for 200, Alex.

5. DAMN

Used in the Rhett Butler form, emphasizing this word lends a "heft" to your statement that won't soon be forgotten.

4. NOW

While I much prefer the Super Trooper-esqe "meow" for when I need something immediately, Jimbo uses the archaic form of the word to express when you needed to have something by.

3. F@CK

I guess Jimbo's been watching a Battlestar: Galactica with the sound down, because it's almost Frack. Which sounds better on a censored title screen.

2. GOOD/BAD

Denotes which side you are on. Either you're WITH Jimbo, or AGAINST him.

1. CONFIRMED

Happy belated birthday, Yojimbo. Get yer ass to PAX next year.

And yes, that picture came from a GIS for "confirmed".

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26 comments | showing # 1 to 26

MrSadistic

It all makes sense now:

LOVE CHEATING, F@CK! NEED DAMN GOOD/BAD ATTENTION NOW CONFIRMED! AAAARRRRGGGHHH

walkyourpath

Scott Baio is the greatest method actor of all time -- he's still practicing for those two roles!

Also, this post = :D

Jesus H Christ

I am LITERALLY dying LAUGHING at YOU'RE blog!

digtastik

I feel CHEATED.

DaedHead8

I knew there was a good reason why I kept reading the old guy's posts. Thanks blehman!

kauza

Classic. This IS great, though I much PREFER unnecessary and unwarranted capitalization. Especially WHEN it's something that doesn't usually REQUIRE emphasis.

Scary Womanizing Pig Mask

Ahahaha, SO true XP

Elsa

LMAO! Awesome blog!!
(and the COMMENTS are also funny!)

... though you know, the eyesight starts to go in old age... so when HE STARTS CAPITALIZING EVERYTHING... IT'S TIME FOR BIFOCALS!

Magnalon

Hahahhhaa.

CONFIRMED! is the biggest one ;D

shipero

I could have sworn that 'BRING' 'YO' and 'ASS' would be on that list.

Kryptinite

And this is why I love Mike. Great stuff :).

Guagloves

JOURNALISM. This is hilarious. Thank you blehman.

Dexter345

This post is GOOD.

Danmartigan

boob art CONFIRMED

Takeshi

Shipero is right. BRING YO ASS and SEND ME THAT T-SHIRT.

But I DIGRESS, you could probably make a top 40.

blehman

Alright, I'm busted. This post should be titled "Top Ten Words in the Last Twenty Y0j1mb0 Blogs that you NEED to Capitalize to be a Y0j1mb0 Post".

It just doesn't roll of the tongue, though.

Y0j1mb0

I don't know what YOU are talking about, Bleh.

<3

Also, you must of forgotten early on in my blogging my love for italicizing everything!

PappaDukes

I think he uses capitalized words not for effect, but so he can read them.

It's funny because he's old and can't see well.

Zodiac Eclipse

So that's how he does it. We must all be psychologically wired to respond to his cryptic capitalization methods thus generating ungodly high comments on anything he writes. Well played old man.

Gyrael

CONTROVERSY.

theredpepperofdoom

NOW I know how Y0j1mb0 grabs my attention.

Kylius

Words you need to capitalise be a y0j1mb0 comment on an artsy-fartsy C-Blog:

"A"
"BEARDED"
"SAMURAI"
"WOULD"
"BE"
"NICE"
"THANKS"
"BANANA-HAMMOCK"

NihonTiger90

Everything makes sense NOW.

Ali D

Is that a painting of Kari from Mythbusters?!?

Pangloss

"Also, you must of forgotten early on in my blogging my love for italicizing everything!"

One post at a time, Y0j1mb0.

mikeyed

YOj1mbO uses caps like a <i>fucking</i> KATANA!

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