Quantcast
Destructoid - blehman's Community Blog




About Me
Real name: Mike

Amazing gif!



bleh, man
Age:29
Lives in: Dallas, Tx
Occupation: Mayor of Metro City
Member of: Official Destructoid Beard Club
Consoles: 360, ds, snes, ps2
Hobbies: Games, reading, guitar, drinking

Because The GHost is teh awesome, my dtoid playing card:


Wanderingpixel is also awesome.


Current Games:

All of the things


Old Blogs:
Teh Randomtoid Linktoid (This is all my randomtoid blogs in one spot)
My Dtoid Thank You Note
One year w00t!
Avatar Chat
My Feelings On "Next-Gen"
Bleh-views:
Star Wars: The Force Unleashed
Lost: Via Domus
Community Discussion Time!
Gaming Journalism
Oh snap! Front paged!
Playing with Others: The Death of Split-Screen



My Hero:



My Left 4 Dead Dream Movie



Longcat:



Myspace profile: what the fuck is a myspace and when did this get here?

To e-mail malicious hatemail: blehman646@gmail.com

To whomever drew my header: Awesome
Note: old header link here

For Wiisucks:
Hi! My name is Jack Klassen.! I'm a completely ordinary teenage boy from San Diego, California. My interests include soccer, surfing, writing poetry, and luge. I am homeschooled by my father who fought in the Korean War and was exposed to nerve gas. He is kind of crazy but I still love him. We got the Internet two years ago and I started making new friends on Yahoo! messenger. Surprisingly, most of these new friends were older men who wanted to have illegal, underage sex with me. Needless to say, I got a boner like a rocketship and cybersex quickly became my favorite thing in the entire world. Wait, did I say boner like a rocketship? I meant my vagina got as wet as Lake Titicaca. I started saving all of the hot chat sessions I was having with the Pakistanis, lesbians, child molesters and other monsters who were instant messaging me all day and all night, and I decided to put them up here on this website so you can see exactly how disgusting the entire human race is. Since then, I have been in a waterskiing accident that mangled my genitals beyond repair, been diagnosed with cerebral palsy, brain cancer, and Crohn's disease, learned to speak Urdu and French, covered my naked body in superglue, went to French lesbian camp, made a Hindu eat a roast beef sandwich out of my vagina, and ruined perfectly good cybersex for at least one hundred people. Use the menu above to find out more about me and start reading my sexy adventures,





Also, I make people from Pheonix Wright cry:


Also, also, sparkle:


Also, also, also, jiggles:


Also, also, also, also, Trent!


Alsox5, kitteh:


Also, X-mas Shake(a.k.a. itemforty is teh sex)
Gamer Profile
3DS friend code:
Steam: blehmeng
Battle:
PSN:
Mii:
Gamertag: blehmeng
Following (112)
-D-
Aaron Mxy Yost
aborto thefetus
Aerox
Altered Beets
Atlas
B-Radicate
BahamutZero
bahss
balth
BigPopaGamer
blehman
bloodylip
BluDesign
BlueWolf72
Bob Muir
Brad Rice
Brandon Undead
Brian Szabelski
Brilliam
BulletMagnet
Butmac
CaffeinePowered
CarlostheJackal
Carrion Crow
ceark
Chad Concelmo
Chewpathingy
Clockwork - Avatar setup pending
Coonskin05
CountingConflict
Cowzilla3
CronosBlade
DaedHead8
digtastik
Droll
Drunkcast
DtoidAustin
El Guapo
Evil Blehman
Excremento
FAILCAST
Fuzzy
GayBear22
Hamza CTZ Aziz
Hoygeit
Iolaus
itemforty
JACK of No Trades
Jahute
jdub28
jerrt
Jesse Cortez
Jesus H Christ
Jim Sterling
Joanna Mueller
JoshDunford
kezins
king3vbo
Kryptinite
KyleGamgee
lacysquid
liam2015
Liz Alexander
Macca
Maurice Tan
MaxVest
MechaMonkey
mid3vol
Morrius
MrJunko
MrSadistic
mudkip5000
necrozen
Neonie
ninjamogzero
NobodysDream
nopk
NotAZombie
pendelton21
Phist
PointingDevice
power-glove
Qalamari
RICHARD BLOCKER
Riser Glen
Rockvillian
Sadie G
Sentry
ShadokatRegn
shipero
Snaileb
Spartacus
SPIDER PIG
Steel Squirrel
Surf314
tazarthayoot
The Faux-Bot
The GHost
TheNakedAnt
Tiff
To1kien
Tragic Hero
Velt
vexed alex
Vixen
Volcanon
VWGTI
WDot
wobblefunk
xper
Y0j1mb0
The Best Games You Haven't Played This Year
blehman | 12:12 PM on 12.09.2009 24 comments


With the end of the year fast approaching, and with all the good games to come out this year out, I thought I'd tell you about some great games that you may have missed, be it due to ignorance about the title, not going to "those" types of stores, or even christianity. These titles missed out on getting attention while their big brothers got all the glory and I feel it's time the spotlight shines on them. So, without further ado, the best games you didn't play this year.



Rock Band: Dokken

With such hit as "The Hunter", who wouldn't want to be a member of 80's Rock Superstar vehicle Dokken? with their recent comeback attempt, Harmonix decided that Dokken would be the best fit for a follow-up to the dismal flop Guitar Hero 5. Unfortunely none of the actual band members could make it in to the studio to be motion captured, so members of the band Ratt stepped in to help them out. No one knows the difference.



Grand Theft Auto: The Ballsack of Gay Tony

As the owner of Liberty City's minor league soccer team, the Liberty City Sac Tappers, Tony "Menudo" Smith has his hands full. Full of balls. Mainly, the illegal shipment of 100,000 soccer balls full of heroin that got illegally shipped to him. Now, with more balls than he's used to handling by himself, he'll have to get his team to do more than just play soccer with his balls if he wants to get off without getting any on him.



Edward Borderhands

On the planet Panboredom, a new hero has arrived to free the population of it's bandit problem. You play as Steven Jackson, running back for the St. Louis Rams and snappy dresser, who somehow gets transported to a different world. Midgets, the shirtless guys from Twilight, and a really dumb endboss await you in this platforming role playing first person shooter.



Scene It: Twilight

Wait... This is a real fucking game? You have to be fucking with me. Right? Guys?



Cute-al Legend

With a sprinkle of Milo and Otis and a dash of Dudley Moore, legendary ex-Team Ninja leader Tomonobu Itagaki brings you his newest Ninja Gaiden like experience sans the ninjas and gaiden. Taking on the role of Kitty Riggs, you'll pounce, paw and purr your way to victory against the evil dog army of Lord Puppytickleus.



Plants vs Hedgeclippers

Not as exciting as zombies, but still pretty fun to play as the clippers.



Attached photos:

Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo

Is this post awesome? Vote it up!

11

Those who have fapped:  Anonymouse  


Post a comment! You can also post a photo below:

Comment with Facebook





Click connect and comment instantly!

Comment with Dtoid





New? SIGN UP - it takes 5 seconds

21 comments | showing # 1 to 21
prev next

Elsa's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/09/2009 12:36
Elsa
Fantastic list.... I'll have to add some of those to my Christmas list!! .. but I can't believe you forgot the Game of the Year - Call of Doody: Modem Warfare 2!!

Glitching, cheating shitheads running around the battlefield trying to prove who has the biggest e-penis! It's awesome!
Nic128's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/09/2009 13:03
Nic128
The Ballsack of gay tony, hahaha.
Jesus H Christ's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/09/2009 13:14
Jesus H Christ
Rokken list.
Wintersocks's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/09/2009 13:18
Wintersocks
I came awaiting a srs busness blog.

I was baffled, but not dissapointed. Top knotch.
ikiryou's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/09/2009 13:29
ikiryou
Oh feckin' A. I thought Rock Band Dokken was real.

Sadly, Twishite Scene It exists and is loved by tweens and morbidly obese ladies who cannot locate their vagoos.
Blasto's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/09/2009 13:37
Blasto
My god, Elsa's getting saucy lately. Me likey.
Piellar's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/09/2009 14:01
Piellar
"Midgets, the shirtless guys from Twilight, and a really dumb endboss await you in this platforming role playing first person shooter."

Sold!! Jacob iz so HAWT! ... ... >_> lolz

Fun list, bro :)
PappaDukes's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/09/2009 14:05
PappaDukes
I am disappoint. This list doesn't even include "Professor Layton and the Bi-Curious Village."
armless-phelan's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/09/2009 14:26
armless-phelan
Sorry, Chad, but this is officially the best list ever!
mix's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/09/2009 14:28
mix
What about Unfarted 2: A bum sneeze?

I'm sorry I suck so much :(

I lold at your stuff, good list!
SaintRising's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/09/2009 14:33
SaintRising
I'm pretty sure I played Plants versus Hedgeclippers in my garden yesterday...

The plants won.
Rifter01's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/09/2009 15:14
Rifter01
HAHAH.. What about Tiger Woodz Pro Tour 2009? (Big Pimpin' edition?)
grafkhun's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/09/2009 16:08
grafkhun
Cute-al Legend is really good guys, Will Wright made it and you can also play as a baby kangaroo in it.
Takeshi's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/09/2009 16:15
Takeshi
You have no idea how bad I want to play these games.
adultswim810's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/09/2009 17:40
adultswim810
Edward Borderhands - I love you
TheJesusNinja26's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/09/2009 18:46
TheJesusNinja26
Cute-al-Legend made me have a good laugh.
ace of knaves's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/09/2009 18:58
ace of knaves
Edward Borderhands is the funniest goddamn thing I've seen all day.
vApathyv's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/09/2009 19:19
vApathyv
You totally missed out on Assassins Pee Too. Real-time renaissance urine emulators? COME ON.
drizzt's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/10/2009 11:51
drizzt
Actually, I'm fairly ashamed to say I HAVE played Twilight: Scene It...
king3vbo's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/11/2009 09:37
king3vbo
Team Hedgeclippers
Shigunetheseraph's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/21/2009 19:00
Shigunetheseraph
Ohmagawd Call of Doody....
prev next

Comment with Facebook





Click connect and comment instantly!

Comment with Dtoid





New? SIGN UP - it takes 5 seconds

Comments policy

Destructoid is an open discussion community. You don't need to "audition" to post a comment - just speak your mind. We respect differing opinions on the site, so have at it. Be smart, funny, insightful, clueless, or cute -- but back it up with substance. Keep your cool, keep it fun. We only ask that you act respectfully and above all: don't be a troll and ruin it for everyone else. Don't bring down gamers or we'll, you know, gently shoot you in the face and stuff you into a flaming mailbox. Each comment is your opportuntity to make this community awesomer. Is that even a word?

Avoiding the banhammer only requires common sense: spamming, trolling, racism, NSFW stuff, and other forms of sucking will not be tolerated. If anyone is griefing please report abuse. Be good. Don't suck!