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About Me
Real name: Mike

Amazing gif!



bleh, man
Age:29
Lives in: Dallas, Tx
Occupation: Mayor of Metro City
Member of: Official Destructoid Beard Club
Consoles: 360, ds, snes, ps2
Hobbies: Games, reading, guitar, drinking

Because The GHost is teh awesome, my dtoid playing card:


Wanderingpixel is also awesome.


Current Games:

All of the things


Old Blogs:
Teh Randomtoid Linktoid (This is all my randomtoid blogs in one spot)
My Dtoid Thank You Note
One year w00t!
Avatar Chat
My Feelings On "Next-Gen"
Bleh-views:
Star Wars: The Force Unleashed
Lost: Via Domus
Community Discussion Time!
Gaming Journalism
Oh snap! Front paged!
Playing with Others: The Death of Split-Screen



My Hero:



My Left 4 Dead Dream Movie



Longcat:



Myspace profile: what the fuck is a myspace and when did this get here?

To e-mail malicious hatemail: blehman646@gmail.com

To whomever drew my header: Awesome
Note: old header link here

For Wiisucks:
Hi! My name is Jack Klassen.! I'm a completely ordinary teenage boy from San Diego, California. My interests include soccer, surfing, writing poetry, and luge. I am homeschooled by my father who fought in the Korean War and was exposed to nerve gas. He is kind of crazy but I still love him. We got the Internet two years ago and I started making new friends on Yahoo! messenger. Surprisingly, most of these new friends were older men who wanted to have illegal, underage sex with me. Needless to say, I got a boner like a rocketship and cybersex quickly became my favorite thing in the entire world. Wait, did I say boner like a rocketship? I meant my vagina got as wet as Lake Titicaca. I started saving all of the hot chat sessions I was having with the Pakistanis, lesbians, child molesters and other monsters who were instant messaging me all day and all night, and I decided to put them up here on this website so you can see exactly how disgusting the entire human race is. Since then, I have been in a waterskiing accident that mangled my genitals beyond repair, been diagnosed with cerebral palsy, brain cancer, and Crohn's disease, learned to speak Urdu and French, covered my naked body in superglue, went to French lesbian camp, made a Hindu eat a roast beef sandwich out of my vagina, and ruined perfectly good cybersex for at least one hundred people. Use the menu above to find out more about me and start reading my sexy adventures,





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Also, also, also, jiggles:


Also, also, also, also, Trent!


Alsox5, kitteh:


Also, X-mas Shake(a.k.a. itemforty is teh sex)
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Recreating Video Games in the Litterbox
blehman | 8:58 AM on 10.01.2009 62 comments


As never mentioned in a previous blog, i have a penchant for dressing up animals. Though, it's not just something that i do by myself to improve my pussy prowess... i make use of the activity in more "normal" ways too.

Or at least i'd like to.

I've had a fantasy i'd quite like to fulfill for a while. Basically, i would like a cat to dress up as Princess Peach and meow me from my kitchen. But, when i get into the kitchen all i will find is a note stating that the kitteh is in another castle. So, it'll be like, a "scatvenger" hunt trying to find her.

If this goes well, i would consider getting other animals involved. Maybe some dog to dress up as a gorilla and throw barrels at me while i am looking for her.

I'm sure i'm the only person to think about ways to recreate video gaming moments in the pet department. I have similar ideas about amending the lack of a muslim romance option in Gears of War 2, and relieving the sexual tension between Marcus and Dom.















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56 comments | showing # 1 to 50
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next 50 comments

phantomile's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/01/2009 09:18
phantomile
I also think about this quite often. I believe it is a great idea to pursue.

Much healthier than attempting to dress up humans in a similar situation. That would just be disgusting.
Kryptinite's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/01/2009 09:20
Kryptinite
..I"m so damn confused.
Bat Country's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/01/2009 09:23
Bat Country
Jeez guy, take your superior cat fetish elsewhere. Not all of us write Lolcat Fan Fiction and Doggie Ballets in their spare time.

ryu89's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/01/2009 09:31
ryu89
Yes.
ArcticFox's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/01/2009 09:32
ArcticFox
Animal LARPing?
Aurvant's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/01/2009 09:45
Aurvant
Because cats cosplay too:

Kyle MacGregor's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/01/2009 09:49
Kyle MacGregor
When you get around to doing this, you need to film it.
Diverse's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/01/2009 09:50
Diverse
I believe this is what the hilarity professionals call a "parody".
blehman's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/01/2009 09:52
blehman
Slowgrim, I don't know what you crazy people are talking about. Normal people, such as myself always have to have things to keep them occupied between my middle earth religion that I'm attracting followers to and my scuba ballet that I'm writing.
Andrew Kauz's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/01/2009 09:59
Andrew Kauz
I already wrote a scuba ballet. Don't tread on my shit, please. Also, ferrets work better.
MrSadistic's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/01/2009 09:59
MrSadistic
Oh hey the forums sure do look different today.
digtastik's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/01/2009 10:00
digtastik
BWahhahahahahahaha. I think I peed alit.e oh christ i can't type and screww correcting my mistales.
PappaDukes's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/01/2009 10:01
PappaDukes
+100 pussy prowess.
blehman's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/01/2009 10:03
blehman
This is a very serious matter. I can't possible be the only one who thinks it's cute to dress up animals as video game characters so that they play better.
craineum's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/01/2009 10:18
craineum
So are you saying that two cats dress up as video game characters would make better pets or better gamers? And if you had more then one cat would the effects get exponentially compounded? So if I had an army of 1000 video game dressed cats, could I take over the alien moon?
entrager's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/01/2009 10:31
entrager
I thought this was going to be about arranging cat turds to look like a Pac-Man level.
PappaDukes's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/01/2009 10:32
PappaDukes
If you dress up these poor goddamn cats like people, then it's only fair that your dress up like a cat.

also,

Chris Carter's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/01/2009 10:32
Chris Carter
I wonder if the targeted troll will take the bait? He better!
blehman's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/01/2009 10:48
blehman
What do you mean the targeted troll Mag? I'm serious, this is an area of modern science not yet tapped into. Think about what you're missing by not expanding your mind into wondering if a cat dressed like Mario could jump higher, or a cat dressed like Sonic could run faster by being the character.
Gyrael's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/01/2009 10:54
Gyrael
You're ahead of your time.
CelicaCrazed's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/01/2009 10:54
CelicaCrazed
So will this doggy-gorilla also take part in the sexual act?? Like furry interspecies threesome!? If so, hawt like lava-rock.
F Whipple's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/01/2009 11:00
F Whipple
I prefer to reenact my video game fantasies with boobies.

Elsa's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/01/2009 11:12
Elsa
Hello Kitty costume!

<img src="http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1381/996213289_47a065e3cd_o.jpg">

(hope it embeds... the show BBcode help thingie isn't working for me)
ArcticFox's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/01/2009 11:15
ArcticFox
Out of curiosity Bleh, are you planning on doing a version of Ico with cats? I think that would be adorable!
Elsa's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/01/2009 11:16
Elsa
nope.... didn't embed. :(

Let's try this again with a new guess... sorry, but trying to remember how to embed an image link!

blehman's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/01/2009 11:19
blehman
No Fox, but I am training my cats to be the aristocats.

Wintersocks's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/01/2009 11:41
Wintersocks
How was integration back into england from russia, blehman?
Joanna Mueller's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/01/2009 11:44
Joanna Mueller
Well thank god we all have something more productive to do with our time now. I'm not even being facetious, dressing up cats is hella more productive than some other threads that are floating around like unflushed refuse.
DJDuffy 's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/01/2009 11:46
DJDuffy
Come on troll...out you come from the cave! lol nice Mike
gatorsax2010's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/01/2009 11:46
gatorsax2010
You're so full of shit, blehmoon.
blehman's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/01/2009 11:48
blehman
I don't understand wintersocks, as I was born a poor black child. I remember the days, sittin' on the porch with my family, singin' and dancin' down in Mississippi.
Cataract's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/01/2009 11:51
Cataract
Blehman.


I fucking love you. May I be in your scuba ballet?
blehman's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/01/2009 11:52
blehman
Hmmmm, I dressed my cat up as Mickey Mouse, but it doesn't seem to be workOH GOD WRONG CAT *POOF*

GamesAreArt's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/01/2009 12:03
GamesAreArt
Blehman, your awesome.
ArcticFox's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/01/2009 12:17
ArcticFox
The arisocrats? WTF? Are those cats related? Youre a sicker man then I thought Bleh!
AgentMOO's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/01/2009 12:19
AgentMOO
GOLD MINE





FatherChesz's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/01/2009 12:22
FatherChesz
Absolutely terrific. Perhaps this will answer the question: Can love bloom in the litterbox?
blehman's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/01/2009 12:22
blehman
Wait! PROOF! I dressed my cat up like Roman Polanski a few years ago, and this is him now:

Bulkmailer's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/01/2009 12:24
Bulkmailer
Just please don't use mascara on the kitties.
blehman's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/01/2009 12:33
blehman
Hmmmmm, scientist cat was not impressed with my initial findings.

copilotlindy's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/01/2009 14:01
copilotlindy
fyi - "Scatvenger" sounds like some poop superhero.
BulletTrain's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/01/2009 15:40
BulletTrain
Blehman, king of the c blawgs.
CrocBox's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/01/2009 15:42
CrocBox
HAHAHAHAHAHA ...What?
blehman's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/01/2009 16:32
blehman
This is SCIENCE. Think of the possibilities of higher jumping Mario cats, or genocidal Hitler cats, or tiny Smurf cats that can sing? Is that really so creepy when compared to someone willing to pay a man to dress in a Gorilla costume, abduct their fiance, hide them somewhere while throwing barrels at said person, and then watching them have sex afterwards? No, said the man in washington.
Knivy's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/01/2009 16:38
Knivy
Genious!
itemforty's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/01/2009 16:53
itemforty
Finally some fucking science on this fucking website! NOW YOU ARE A TRUE HERO.
Hollie Bennett's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/01/2009 16:54
Hollie Bennett
Oh well he found us. Pack up kids, the party is over.
MechaMonkey's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/01/2009 17:24
MechaMonkey
Bless you, child. You're doing God's work.
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