
|
|
|
|
A new study released on Monday from The Journal Of The American Statistical Association has come out with some very interesting findings. It has to do with...well, let's let the professional explain:
"Of the 6.7 billion inhabitants of Earth, approximately 3.5 billion have reached sexual maturity," said Dr. Jerome Carver, a mathematics professor at the University of Chicago and lead author of the study. "From a statistical perspective, it simply stands to reason that at least two of these inhabitants are totally going at it right now. Like, as we speak." "But it's probably way more than that," Carver added. "Like at least a hundred." This finding will no doubt change the way you look at people, due to the fact that they may have been the ones "doing it". But that's not all that was discovered in this groundbreaking study. Sez the pros: "The nearer you get to major metropolitan areas, the more likely you are to be in proximity to those making it," said California Institute of Technology probability theorist Howard Bergsson, who contributed to the report. "For example, we're in Chicago, a city of three million people. Someone is probably doing it right down the street, or maybe even somewhere in this building." "And even if they're not, you have to keep in mind that it's nighttime in England right now," Bergsson added. "So someone is, in all likelihood, doing it over there." Now, I know ya'll cannot be as excited as I am about that last quote. But IMHO, it means that right now, or possibly 15 minutes from now, Jim Sterling will be "doing it". There were also secondary findings with this study. Let's copy pasta that. "According to observers, the study's secondary findings are in some ways even more surprising: Given the fact that not everyone goes all the way all the time, the report predicts that there are at least four times as many people currently frenching or getting to second base than there are doing it."
So, as you can see, this report will change your life. Source: America's Most Trusted News Outlet: FoxNews
|
|
|
|
Post a comment! You can also post a photo below:
|
Comment with FacebookClick connect and comment instantly! |
Comment with Dtoid
New? SIGN UP - it takes 5 seconds |
Comments policy
Destructoid is an open discussion community. You don't need to "audition" to post a comment - just speak your mind. We respect differing opinions on the site, so have at it. Be smart, funny, insightful, clueless, or cute -- but back it up with substance. Keep your cool, keep it fun. We only ask that you act respectfully and above all: don't be a troll and ruin it for everyone else. Don't bring down gamers or we'll, you know, gently shoot you in the face and stuff you into a flaming mailbox. Each comment is your opportuntity to make this community awesomer. Is that even a word?
Avoiding the banhammer only requires common sense: spamming, trolling, racism, NSFW stuff, and other forms of sucking will not be tolerated. If anyone is griefing please report abuse. Be good. Don't suck!

Follow
RSS
Contact
As for me, I have been forbidden by the UN to concieve any type of birth what-so-ever.
So I made this chart.
...I mean to say, 'when is it my turn?'
Im trying.
Yes, that's why married guys have their balls in jars in their wives purses.
This is THE best 'study' ever published!
-sweet-