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Randomtoid: Mr. Destructoid finds a Running Mate for President
blehman \| 4:19 PM on 11.14.2007	10 comments

Now, I know what you all must be saying to yourself, "Blehman, what is this tomfoolery you speak of?" This tomfoolery I speak of is that we the Destructites were in full support of Stephen Colbert for president, and turned our backs on him as soon as he got scared out of the race due to "lack of support". Like that ever stopped David Beckham.

But I come to you now with a new candidate, who is looking far and wide for someone to run with. He will come out of his deep, dark hole in the Earth for only one brave robot, our, Mr. Destructoid.

And his slogan is "Why vote for the lesser of two evils?"

So I present to you the presidential support page of:

CTHULU!!!!

Supported by the vote for Cthulu for president website.

Please note, all those who do not support Cthulu for president will die the death of a million firey deaths. Along with those who do.

Is this post awesome? Vote it up!

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10 comments | showing # 1 to 10

Eschatos

Sorry, I'm only going with the platform of Shub-Niggurath. Maybe if they join up, but otherwise no.

king3vbo

Hmm its close between Cthulu and Shub-Niggurath. But ultimately Im voting for Cthulu, seeing as he will give me a swifter, less painful death

shipero

Yog-Sothoth supports public education.

Also he looks like slime with eyeballs in it, so there's that.

MaxVest

I'll go for the dark horse Deep One candidate and cast my lot with the entity commonly called Dagon. This is I think the onlt old/deep one who is seen worshiping, so it can win the faith-based vote.

Although the real Dagon probably wasn't as cool, being a god of grain instead of a fish-god of the sea. Stupid linguistic errors.

Eschatos

I highly doubt that Yog-Sothoth is a he, she, or any other sex we might recognize.

UglyDuck

Yes lols, but also that banner is the sweet, succulent win.

itemforty

Yes, I have a vote for this thing right here.

DangerousD

@ blehman
this website will know something about you.

blehman

@D

it knows my account is suspended?

Snaileb

Your banner. It's very cool.

Click connect and comment instantly!

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Destructoid is an independently-run publication forged by our love of video games and the gaming community's need of accountable enthusiast press
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Hi! My name is Jack Klassen.! I'm a completely ordinary teenage boy from San Diego, California. My interests include soccer, surfing, writing poetry, and luge. I am homeschooled by my father who fought in the Korean War and was exposed to nerve gas. He is kind of crazy but I still love him. We got the Internet two years ago and I started making new friends on Yahoo! messenger. Surprisingly, most of these new friends were older men who wanted to have illegal, underage sex with me. Needless to say, I got a boner like a rocketship and cybersex quickly became my favorite thing in the entire world. Wait, did I say boner like a rocketship? I meant my vagina got as wet as Lake Titicaca. I started saving all of the hot chat sessions I was having with the Pakistanis, lesbians, child molesters and other monsters who were instant messaging me all day and all night, and I decided to put them up here on this website so you can see exactly how disgusting the entire human race is. Since then, I have been in a waterskiing accident that mangled my genitals beyond repair, been diagnosed with cerebral palsy, brain cancer, and Crohn's disease, learned to speak Urdu and French, covered my naked body in superglue, went to French lesbian camp, made a Hindu eat a roast beef sandwich out of my vagina, and ruined perfectly good cybersex for at least one hundred people. Use the menu above to find out more about me and start reading my sexy adventures,

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