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About Me
Real name: Mike

Amazing gif!



bleh, man
Age:29
Lives in: Dallas, Tx
Occupation: Mayor of Metro City
Member of: Official Destructoid Beard Club
Consoles: 360, ds, snes, ps2
Hobbies: Games, reading, guitar, drinking

Because The GHost is teh awesome, my dtoid playing card:


Wanderingpixel is also awesome.


Current Games:

All of the things


Old Blogs:
Teh Randomtoid Linktoid (This is all my randomtoid blogs in one spot)
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One year w00t!
Avatar Chat
My Feelings On "Next-Gen"
Bleh-views:
Star Wars: The Force Unleashed
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Playing with Others: The Death of Split-Screen



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Note: old header link here

For Wiisucks:
Hi! My name is Jack Klassen.! I'm a completely ordinary teenage boy from San Diego, California. My interests include soccer, surfing, writing poetry, and luge. I am homeschooled by my father who fought in the Korean War and was exposed to nerve gas. He is kind of crazy but I still love him. We got the Internet two years ago and I started making new friends on Yahoo! messenger. Surprisingly, most of these new friends were older men who wanted to have illegal, underage sex with me. Needless to say, I got a boner like a rocketship and cybersex quickly became my favorite thing in the entire world. Wait, did I say boner like a rocketship? I meant my vagina got as wet as Lake Titicaca. I started saving all of the hot chat sessions I was having with the Pakistanis, lesbians, child molesters and other monsters who were instant messaging me all day and all night, and I decided to put them up here on this website so you can see exactly how disgusting the entire human race is. Since then, I have been in a waterskiing accident that mangled my genitals beyond repair, been diagnosed with cerebral palsy, brain cancer, and Crohn's disease, learned to speak Urdu and French, covered my naked body in superglue, went to French lesbian camp, made a Hindu eat a roast beef sandwich out of my vagina, and ruined perfectly good cybersex for at least one hundred people. Use the menu above to find out more about me and start reading my sexy adventures,





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Also, X-mas Shake(a.k.a. itemforty is teh sex)
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Randomtoid: FSM in Debate to Become Real Religion
blehman | 11:40 AM on 11.16.2007 14 comments


So my favorite psuedo-religion is finally going to get it's day to debate it's religious merit. The American Academy of Religion is meeting this weekend in San Diego to discuss the Flying Spaghetti Monster and his noodly appendages.



If you've never heard of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, here is a brief intro:

"An Oregon State physics graduate named Bobby Henderson stepped into the debate by sending a letter to the Kansas School Board. With tongue in cheek, he purported to speak for 10 million followers of a being called the Flying Spaghetti Monster -- and demanded equal time for their views."

"We have evidence that a Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe. None of us, of course, were around to see it, but we have written accounts of it," Henderson wrote. As for scientific evidence to the contrary, "what our scientist does not realize is that every time he makes a measurement, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is there changing the results with His Noodly Appendage."

I personally think this is great. Having top religous scholars debating about the FSM and it's place in religion could help out in schools and places where religous zelots are trying to push their brand of "holiness" onto students, and push out reasonable scientific facts.

source:http://www.cnn.com/2007/LIVING/personal/11/16/flying.spaghettimonster.ap/index.html

FSM homepage: http://www.venganza.org


Also, please note, I'm not anti-religion, I'm anti-stupid.



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14 comments | showing # 1 to 14
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taumpytears's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/16/2007 12:00
taumpytears
Noodly appendages ftw!
nademagnet's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/16/2007 12:01
nademagnet
By Zeus this is great news!
Snaileb 's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/16/2007 12:04
Snaileb
What the fucking hell?

Can we see this live when it happens? I can't believe this is cereal.
king3vbo's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/16/2007 12:09
king3vbo
This is fucking great news. Now all we need is a debate of FSM vs. Cthulu
nicojay's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/16/2007 12:10
nicojay
But it's not a monster, it's part of calory controled diet damn it.
nicojay's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/16/2007 12:13
nicojay
sorry 'calorie controlled'.
nuclear gheko's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/16/2007 12:38
nuclear gheko
That is an absolutely brillaint story. I love it when people can use the system against itself to expose the hypocracy of others who have self deemed themselves as righteous above others and their believes. GO FSM!!!! I wonder what they will sacrafice to him/her/it??/ Virgins? Marinara sauce??
boatorious's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/16/2007 12:53
boatorious
I think a good way to measure whether or not something is considered a real religion is whether or not believers have been killed for their beliefs.

So, anybody been killed because they believe in FSM? Anyone willing to die for FSM?
bluemeep's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/16/2007 13:04
bluemeep
I still want one of those silver ixthus/Darwin fish symbols of FSM. I know they make 'em -- I just haven't gotten around to buying it yet.
Bob Muir's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/16/2007 13:52
Bob Muir
Amazing. I'd love to see something like this taught in schools.
Brian Szabelski's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/16/2007 15:45
Brian Szabelski
Please, let this be taught in schools. It'd be hilarious.
Variable Gear's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/16/2007 18:23
Variable Gear
This man is truly a legend. I can has FSM class, plz!
xper's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/16/2007 18:52
xper
i think this is the first step towards the continued existence of our species. you keep on bringing the good news my good blehman
Spartacus's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/16/2007 20:56
Spartacus
HEATHEN HIGH FIVE
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