Hi! My name is Jack Klassen.! I'm a completely ordinary teenage boy from San Diego, California. My interests include soccer, surfing, writing poetry, and luge. I am homeschooled by my father who fought in the Korean War and was exposed to nerve gas. He is kind of crazy but I still love him. We got the Internet two years ago and I started making new friends on Yahoo! messenger. Surprisingly, most of these new friends were older men who wanted to have illegal, underage sex with me. Needless to say, I got a boner like a rocketship and cybersex quickly became my favorite thing in the entire world. Wait, did I say boner like a rocketship? I meant my vagina got as wet as Lake Titicaca. I started saving all of the hot chat sessions I was having with the Pakistanis, lesbians, child molesters and other monsters who were instant messaging me all day and all night, and I decided to put them up here on this website so you can see exactly how disgusting the entire human race is. Since then, I have been in a waterskiing accident that mangled my genitals beyond repair, been diagnosed with cerebral palsy, brain cancer, and Crohn's disease, learned to speak Urdu and French, covered my naked body in superglue, went to French lesbian camp, made a Hindu eat a roast beef sandwich out of my vagina, and ruined perfectly good cybersex for at least one hundred people. Use the menu above to find out more about me and start reading my sexy adventures,
Pre-emptive disclaimer/writer's note: This is just a small rant based off of a pet peeve of mine. DON'T TAKE IT THE WRONG WAY. I'm just throwing it out there. You can catch it if you want, or you could let it just go right by. I want to be on top of you. Wait, what? Anyway.
I hate the term "next-gen". It doesn't make sense in it's current context anymore, and I don't know what to do about it. Yes, it WAS the correct word to use a few years ago, when these fancy-pants new machines came out, but it's now an outdated word. On top of that, when the NEXT generation of platforms come out, what are we going to call them? It's going to be pandemonium. It'll be like a friggin Japanese cartoon, with the flashy lights, and the uncontrollable seziures, and odd names for things. Super-happy-advanced-plethora-of-adjectives-kitteh-fun-time-wonderful-gen? That doesn't roll off the tongue very easily. Future-gen? That just sounds silly.
Another thing that "next-gen" implies is that the "current-gen" is still up and running strong, which is really not the case. Yes, a fewgems are still out there, and they are still currently releasing games, but with two of the three "last-gen" consoles dead and buried (I'm not counting Dreamcast), why are we still using this archaic term to describe the consoles that we're currently playing on? Also, commas.
Also, why aren't we referring to the handhelds as "next-gen", huh? The DS and PSP were both released around the time this mythical next-generation of gaming started. Now, I know the psp didn't have anything prior to it per se, but the technology in it makes it a newer generation of handheld. And the DS? It's the next-generation of Gameboy. Or GBA, whichever way you wanna go with that. But wouldn't you feel odd saying something about the "next-gen" Phoenix Wright game, as opposed to the "next" Phoenix Wright game?
I mean, can we just bury this stupid buzz phrase for a few years? That's all I'm asking for, because if we don't bury it now, then in the next cycle, when they introduce the new consoles and start beating us around the head and neck area with the same damn phrase, we won't have had a chance to forget it and suddenly remember how "kewl" and "fresh" it is. At least we've moved past how many bits the consoles have.
Note: The National Alliance of Advanced Console Pushers have already done this.
Now I know this was a stupid rant, and I know that it won't accomplish anything, but dammit, I needed to get it off my chest before the "next-next-gen" starts coming around. I'ma need a damn chart before all this is over. And typing "next gen is stupid" into GIS results in an....odd first picture.