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About Me
Real name: Mike

Amazing gif!



bleh, man
Age:29
Lives in: Dallas, Tx
Occupation: Mayor of Metro City
Member of: Official Destructoid Beard Club
Consoles: 360, ds, snes, ps2
Hobbies: Games, reading, guitar, drinking

Because The GHost is teh awesome, my dtoid playing card:


Wanderingpixel is also awesome.


Current Games:

All of the things


Old Blogs:
Teh Randomtoid Linktoid (This is all my randomtoid blogs in one spot)
My Dtoid Thank You Note
One year w00t!
Avatar Chat
My Feelings On "Next-Gen"
Bleh-views:
Star Wars: The Force Unleashed
Lost: Via Domus
Community Discussion Time!
Gaming Journalism
Oh snap! Front paged!
Playing with Others: The Death of Split-Screen



My Hero:



My Left 4 Dead Dream Movie



Longcat:



Myspace profile: what the fuck is a myspace and when did this get here?

To e-mail malicious hatemail: blehman646@gmail.com

To whomever drew my header: Awesome
Note: old header link here

For Wiisucks:
Hi! My name is Jack Klassen.! I'm a completely ordinary teenage boy from San Diego, California. My interests include soccer, surfing, writing poetry, and luge. I am homeschooled by my father who fought in the Korean War and was exposed to nerve gas. He is kind of crazy but I still love him. We got the Internet two years ago and I started making new friends on Yahoo! messenger. Surprisingly, most of these new friends were older men who wanted to have illegal, underage sex with me. Needless to say, I got a boner like a rocketship and cybersex quickly became my favorite thing in the entire world. Wait, did I say boner like a rocketship? I meant my vagina got as wet as Lake Titicaca. I started saving all of the hot chat sessions I was having with the Pakistanis, lesbians, child molesters and other monsters who were instant messaging me all day and all night, and I decided to put them up here on this website so you can see exactly how disgusting the entire human race is. Since then, I have been in a waterskiing accident that mangled my genitals beyond repair, been diagnosed with cerebral palsy, brain cancer, and Crohn's disease, learned to speak Urdu and French, covered my naked body in superglue, went to French lesbian camp, made a Hindu eat a roast beef sandwich out of my vagina, and ruined perfectly good cybersex for at least one hundred people. Use the menu above to find out more about me and start reading my sexy adventures,





Also, I make people from Pheonix Wright cry:


Also, also, sparkle:


Also, also, also, jiggles:


Also, also, also, also, Trent!


Alsox5, kitteh:


Also, X-mas Shake(a.k.a. itemforty is teh sex)
Gamer Profile
3DS friend code:
Steam: blehmeng
Battle:
PSN:
Mii:
Gamertag: blehmeng
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No, You Listen
blehman | 1:34 PM on 02.10.2010 40 comments


Bioshock 2. No controller support on PC.

You tards say that PC gamers should stop whining and use KB+M. I'll tell you why you're a fuckshitcock.


Ok, this is a GAME FOR A PC.




...wait, what was I bitching about again?

Be sure to read the rest of my poorly thought out blogs over on dtoid!



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37 comments | showing # 1 to 37
prev next

Sam Spectre's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/10/2010 13:37
Sam Spectre
first
Anonymouse's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/10/2010 13:38
Anonymouse
Oh, you!
Sam Spectre's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/10/2010 13:38
Sam Spectre
hide this shit
blehman's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/10/2010 13:40
blehman
Fuck you, Sam. You don't call, you don't write, you don't send me naked photos, why should I listen to you? Get dad figure digtastik to tell me that, maybe I'll consider.
njsykora's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/10/2010 13:54
njsykora
Owned.
Xzyliac's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/10/2010 14:10
Xzyliac
Between this and the Heavy Rain review my knowledge of the english language is paying off in spades!
CelicaCrazed's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/10/2010 14:16
CelicaCrazed
PC gamers scare and confuse me -__-
king3vbo's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/10/2010 14:40
king3vbo
Shitdicks.

That is all
PappaDukes's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/10/2010 14:55
PappaDukes
Oh you! You...oh...


...OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!

Also...

...Cawks.
SilverDragon1979's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/10/2010 15:04
SilverDragon1979
I love you Blehman!
Andrew Kauz's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/10/2010 15:05
Andrew Kauz
The half-beard has spoken.
Guagloves's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/10/2010 15:10
Guagloves
WSAD FOREVER
Jesus H Christ's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/10/2010 15:29
Jesus H Christ
I laughed out loud with my mouth.
Kraid's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/10/2010 15:37
Kraid
Quesce qui ce passe??! T'ENTENDS?!
DonHonk's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/10/2010 15:43
DonHonk
haha, I love you.
Sharpless's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/10/2010 15:47
Sharpless
Keyboard and mouse sucks, you fuckshitcock.
blehman's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/10/2010 15:47
blehman
Awww, I love you too. Not as much as Pringles, but still, a lil bit.
DonHonk's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/10/2010 15:52
DonHonk
I'm also gonna take this opportunity to mention this, as your avatar seems appropriate. I really like the new Aqua Teen theme. Its jammin.
grafkhun's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/10/2010 16:10
grafkhun
I thought Bioshock 2 was 100% motion controlled? what the hell is this?
Tha_Meat's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/10/2010 16:14
Tha_Meat
@Guagloves

no, rtmousebtshiftaltx FOREVER!
Cartman's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/10/2010 16:14
Cartman
can someone translate this blog for me? im afraid i dont speak FUCKING AWESOME
ace of knaves's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/10/2010 16:23
ace of knaves
Even don't I this is what?
ZekeThePlumber's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/10/2010 16:27
ZekeThePlumber
What a bitch.
Occams electric toothbrush's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/10/2010 16:39
Occams electric toothbrush
@Mourning orange: That gif....it lives inside me now. I can feel it. Thank you.

Also, fuckshitcock is my new safe word.
Gyrael's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/10/2010 16:54
Gyrael
but blehman
Bulkmailer's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/10/2010 18:00
Bulkmailer
Oh the ''pc gamers are whiners'' faggits! If it werent for you, console dipshits, gaming would be better. OH LOOK A WEPON WIZ UNLIMITAD AMO, WAIT GOTTA HEEL-2 SECS LATER AND IM ROLLIN.

Also!!!1111 WHO NEEDS DEDICATED SERVERS,RIGHT//??!!!!ROFL! Excuse me, but I will go play some more Haloz 2 on my XBAWKSSSS(its not like the online is going anywere). penis.
MechaMonkey's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/10/2010 21:46
MechaMonkey
Microshitting fagtarts.
Steel Squirrel's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/10/2010 22:07
Steel Squirrel
No you.
Gyrael's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/10/2010 22:18
Gyrael
BLEHMAN I REALLY THINK YOU SHOULD RECONSIDER
TheCleaningGuy's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2010 03:12
TheCleaningGuy
Why I can't use arcade stick?
CrocBox's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2010 04:26
CrocBox
How dare you no no my how dare you?!
Xelviar's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2010 05:36
Xelviar
Fully agree with the article. Besides if they don't like the keyboard and mouse for many PC games, then WHY ARE THEY PLAYING IT?! There's a flaming PS3 or 360 they could use for that if they get numb using the other setup!
TheToiletDuck's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2010 06:43
TheToiletDuck
Project Natal will redefine gaming.
PappaDukes's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2010 09:58
PappaDukes
My penis will redefine gayming.
CrocBox's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2010 19:05
CrocBox
Finally adding another definition to Gay Ming other than "he's really gay"
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