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About Me
Real name: Mike

Amazing gif!



bleh, man
Age:29
Lives in: Dallas, Tx
Occupation: Mayor of Metro City
Member of: Official Destructoid Beard Club
Consoles: 360, ds, snes, ps2
Hobbies: Games, reading, guitar, drinking

Because The GHost is teh awesome, my dtoid playing card:


Wanderingpixel is also awesome.


Current Games:

All of the things


Old Blogs:
Teh Randomtoid Linktoid (This is all my randomtoid blogs in one spot)
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Avatar Chat
My Feelings On "Next-Gen"
Bleh-views:
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Community Discussion Time!
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Playing with Others: The Death of Split-Screen



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Note: old header link here

For Wiisucks:
Hi! My name is Jack Klassen.! I'm a completely ordinary teenage boy from San Diego, California. My interests include soccer, surfing, writing poetry, and luge. I am homeschooled by my father who fought in the Korean War and was exposed to nerve gas. He is kind of crazy but I still love him. We got the Internet two years ago and I started making new friends on Yahoo! messenger. Surprisingly, most of these new friends were older men who wanted to have illegal, underage sex with me. Needless to say, I got a boner like a rocketship and cybersex quickly became my favorite thing in the entire world. Wait, did I say boner like a rocketship? I meant my vagina got as wet as Lake Titicaca. I started saving all of the hot chat sessions I was having with the Pakistanis, lesbians, child molesters and other monsters who were instant messaging me all day and all night, and I decided to put them up here on this website so you can see exactly how disgusting the entire human race is. Since then, I have been in a waterskiing accident that mangled my genitals beyond repair, been diagnosed with cerebral palsy, brain cancer, and Crohn's disease, learned to speak Urdu and French, covered my naked body in superglue, went to French lesbian camp, made a Hindu eat a roast beef sandwich out of my vagina, and ruined perfectly good cybersex for at least one hundred people. Use the menu above to find out more about me and start reading my sexy adventures,





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Also, X-mas Shake(a.k.a. itemforty is teh sex)
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Nintendo Wii being blamed for Childhood Aggression
blehman | 2:01 PM on 03.20.2008 10 comments


In yet another case of the media turning on gamers, a report that an alarming rise in violence among children is being blamed on the wii, released today by the most trusted source of news. After an incident happened in a Cleveland area school, the sixth such incident being blamed on wii in six months, has left parents in a daze as they struggle to figure out what to do.

"These games are a...menace to our society, says Linda Roberts, founder of Parents against Wii, "One of these days, the...marks on our children...might not just go away..." The group is suing Nintendo for 52 million dollars.




"The Nintendo company is knowingly exposing our children to disturbing acts....right in our living rooms," said Roberts. She may have a point, as in Jan. and Feb. children striking out with Wii related aggression have been suspended from two different schools in two different cities, the only connection: Nintendo Wii.

Most frightning about this article is that "even though no scientific link has ever been established, a report to be released by PAW later this month indicates an alarming correlation between Wii's growing popularity and a shocking 200-percent increase in...violence."

Also being reported in the article: "The APA is working with the Entertainment Software Rating Board to update its rating system to reflect the perceived influence of Wii on children's behavior." This changes everything. For a psycological association to stick it's unwanted nose and advances in our childrens games is unwarranted and uncalled for. But there are some who fight, some like First Amendment lawyer Benjamin Warren, who calls the wii: "just the latest target—a fuzzy, pink, cuddly little target with big eyes and a squeaky voice that just makes you want to eat it up."

And isn't that really what it's all about?




source article



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10 comments | showing # 1 to 10
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Neonie's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/20/2008 14:14
Neonie
Ignorance in it's purest form.
MrSadistic's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/20/2008 14:17
MrSadistic
I have to agree with The Onion. I know there have been many times where Super Mario Galaxy made me want to elbow bitches left and right.
The GHost's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/20/2008 14:17
The GHost
The Onion is definitely my most trusted news source. :D

God I love that website. I bought the "Fuck Off I'm Reading The Onion" mug and it's come in handy more than a few times.

Also, I don't think that Neonie is quite in on the joke ;)
Tragic Hero's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/20/2008 14:18
Tragic Hero
If I may quote Fresh Prince: Parents just don't understand...
Andrew Benton's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/20/2008 15:07
Andrew Benton
Yeah, I love the newspaper version of the Onion. The only newspaper worth reading.
king3vbo's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/20/2008 15:47
king3vbo
I saw this yesterday and lol'd like a madman
blehman's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/20/2008 15:49
blehman
Yeah I missed this king, thought maybe I could see how many people would read my article without reading that article. 3 out of 6 ain't bad.
Kyousuke Nanbu's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/20/2008 16:37
Kyousuke Nanbu
Its understandable, they get a Wii expecting a great game machine and instead it winds up being a piece of shit, of course the kids are gonna get mad, they didn't a real console, just a white gimmicky toy.
The GHost's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/20/2008 20:20
The GHost
^

Is he for reals? I can't tell :/
Aaron Mxy Yost's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/21/2008 07:50
Aaron Mxy Yost
I can't wait for the Onion Movie. Looks like Kentucky Fried Movie 2.0.
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