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About Me
Real name: Mike

Amazing gif!



bleh, man
Age:29
Lives in: Dallas, Tx
Occupation: Mayor of Metro City
Member of: Official Destructoid Beard Club
Consoles: 360, ds, snes, ps2
Hobbies: Games, reading, guitar, drinking

Because The GHost is teh awesome, my dtoid playing card:


Wanderingpixel is also awesome.


Current Games:

All of the things


Old Blogs:
Teh Randomtoid Linktoid (This is all my randomtoid blogs in one spot)
My Dtoid Thank You Note
One year w00t!
Avatar Chat
My Feelings On "Next-Gen"
Bleh-views:
Star Wars: The Force Unleashed
Lost: Via Domus
Community Discussion Time!
Gaming Journalism
Oh snap! Front paged!
Playing with Others: The Death of Split-Screen



My Hero:



My Left 4 Dead Dream Movie



Longcat:



Myspace profile: what the fuck is a myspace and when did this get here?

To e-mail malicious hatemail: blehman646@gmail.com

To whomever drew my header: Awesome
Note: old header link here

For Wiisucks:
Hi! My name is Jack Klassen.! I'm a completely ordinary teenage boy from San Diego, California. My interests include soccer, surfing, writing poetry, and luge. I am homeschooled by my father who fought in the Korean War and was exposed to nerve gas. He is kind of crazy but I still love him. We got the Internet two years ago and I started making new friends on Yahoo! messenger. Surprisingly, most of these new friends were older men who wanted to have illegal, underage sex with me. Needless to say, I got a boner like a rocketship and cybersex quickly became my favorite thing in the entire world. Wait, did I say boner like a rocketship? I meant my vagina got as wet as Lake Titicaca. I started saving all of the hot chat sessions I was having with the Pakistanis, lesbians, child molesters and other monsters who were instant messaging me all day and all night, and I decided to put them up here on this website so you can see exactly how disgusting the entire human race is. Since then, I have been in a waterskiing accident that mangled my genitals beyond repair, been diagnosed with cerebral palsy, brain cancer, and Crohn's disease, learned to speak Urdu and French, covered my naked body in superglue, went to French lesbian camp, made a Hindu eat a roast beef sandwich out of my vagina, and ruined perfectly good cybersex for at least one hundred people. Use the menu above to find out more about me and start reading my sexy adventures,





Also, I make people from Pheonix Wright cry:


Also, also, sparkle:


Also, also, also, jiggles:


Also, also, also, also, Trent!


Alsox5, kitteh:


Also, X-mas Shake(a.k.a. itemforty is teh sex)
Gamer Profile
3DS friend code:
Steam: blehmeng
Battle:
PSN:
Mii:
Gamertag: blehmeng
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MY Top Ten Most Hated Destructoid Members heheheh Penis
blehman | 1:04 PM on 03.11.2010 56 comments


I'm delaying my blog about Bratz Horse Challenge's potential to change the entire gaming industry to get this out of the way and quickly.

10. That one reviewer, the fat one
I don't particularly hate him, but I've lost all respect for him because of his constant eating and writing.

9. That editor that does those posts about that system.
Just because you like to post things about your favorite system doesn't mean you have to do it on the site you write for. POST THAT SHIT ON FACEBOOK, YO.

8. The music editor guy
Rock Band 2 got a score and God of War 3 got a 10 and OH MY GOD IT'S NOT FAIR

7. That community member who's always posting comments
Why you gotta keep responding to me? I post things because I'm right, not because it's up for debate.

6. That one scrub with a name that I can be funny with
Yeah, bitches. You think that with a name like that you're being serious BUT I TOTALLY CHANGED THAT TO BEING FUNNY. Look at me. LOOK AT ME I'M SO FUCKING FUNNY FUCKING LOOK.

5. OH FUCK YOU THIS LIST IS TOO LONG

Like this cat.



tl;dr,baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw people has opinions that differ from mine so I hates them precious.



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Those who have fapped:  Deschain  


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48 comments | showing # 1 to 48
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Bakewell's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/11/2010 13:10
Bakewell
Long cat is way long. I like it a lot!

Also. Nice blog bro, but you seem to be angry for some reason. None of your posts stand up when we shine the magical light of maturity and tolerance upon't them.

Good heaven and praise Allah that there aren't more bloggers like you!

Seriously tho.....awesome parody is awesome.
NoMore's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/11/2010 13:12
NoMore
once again.......... longcat is long
blehman's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/11/2010 13:12
blehman
Go back to drinking hamzamaamzamama.
CelicaCrazed's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/11/2010 13:22
CelicaCrazed
This lists puts that other list to shame.
Joanna Mueller's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/11/2010 13:23
Joanna Mueller
That is an impressively long cat, I can see no way to dispute this argument. Not in the face of such a cat.
Tubatic's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/11/2010 13:28
Tubatic
I'm pretty sure I'm on this list, I think. Thanks man!
Bob Muir's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/11/2010 13:32
Bob Muir
This sums up pretty much all my thoughts on everything.
Hamza CTZ Aziz's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/11/2010 13:36
Hamza CTZ Aziz
OHHHHHH! I just saw Birthmark's post, haha. Man, GDC makes it hard to keep up with the C blogs. Alright, banning/
Kraid's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/11/2010 13:41
Kraid
YAAAY!
DF's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/11/2010 13:42
DF
Thanks Hamza. :3
VGFreak1225's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/11/2010 13:42
VGFreak1225
Hamza, I love you. Don't ever change.
king3vbo's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/11/2010 13:50
king3vbo
Fuck year longcat. Keep on longing on
itemforty's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/11/2010 14:10
itemforty
What do you mean?
BulletTrain's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/11/2010 14:35
BulletTrain
I aprove of longcat and Mike Haggar.
BS3 Owner's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/11/2010 14:51
BS3 Owner
The only people Hamza likes are the Jagerettes. amirite?

Also, <3333!

Crunshii's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/11/2010 14:54
Crunshii
hot girls and long cat on this post! must reply!
AlLeBlanc's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/11/2010 15:08
AlLeBlanc
My cat is that long
No joke
Xzyliac's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/11/2010 15:10
Xzyliac
I will tell my children's children of this day.
Occams electric toothbrush's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/11/2010 15:23
Occams electric toothbrush
Long cat is a saga.

A saga worth undertaking.

Someone write a song about this, dammit!
Kryptinite's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/11/2010 16:42
Kryptinite
What the fuck is going on in here.
Blasto's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/11/2010 17:35
Blasto
That long cat is the shit yo.
RonBurgandy2010's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/11/2010 17:49
RonBurgandy2010
How drunk are you?
aborto thefetus's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/11/2010 18:29
aborto thefetus
WOOO! PARTY!
NateT's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/11/2010 18:39
NateT
Billy D Approves this message.

Tarvu's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/11/2010 18:44
Tarvu
I will tell Xzyliac's children of this day.
TheCleaningGuy's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/11/2010 18:57
TheCleaningGuy
@Necros: Ohh, that explains a lot...
Deschain's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/11/2010 19:13
Deschain
Longcat should be mandatory in all C-Blogs.
Xzyliac's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/11/2010 19:27
Xzyliac
Tarvu is going to have my children.
wanderingpixel's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/11/2010 20:13
wanderingpixel
Long cat is looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong.
Xander Markham's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/11/2010 21:14
Xander Markham
Do a barrel roll!

FAPPED
Snaileb 's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/11/2010 21:51
Snaileb
Woo! Epic return of long cat!
Gyrael's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/11/2010 22:30
Gyrael
what a bunch of retard fanboys destructoid has no journalizic integrities
ChronosWing's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/11/2010 23:18
ChronosWing
lul I made BD's list, too funny. To bad I missed his banning post because I was to busy playing FFXII because I'm fucking a weaboo fagot.
ChronosWing's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/11/2010 23:18
ChronosWing
WOOPS, well whatever fuck it, yes I was fucking a weaboo fagot.
theredpepperofdoom's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/11/2010 23:30
theredpepperofdoom
YAY Birthmark banned! Thanks Hamza :3
Damn that's a long longcat.
Samit Sarkar's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/11/2010 23:52
Samit Sarkar
1. blehman
Takeshi's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/12/2010 08:06
Takeshi
Oh Hai!
garison's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/12/2010 09:44
garison
That is one goddam long cat.
Pudge Controls the Weather's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/12/2010 10:28
Pudge Controls the Weather
Is it longer than Tacgnol?
MechaMonkey's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/12/2010 15:35
MechaMonkey
Ah, the triumphant return of longcat to the cblogs. I have waited a long time for this day.
CrocBox's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/13/2010 01:36
CrocBox
RABBLE RABBLE
Aaron Mxy Yost's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/13/2010 08:08
Aaron Mxy Yost
Eh, it's not that long.
phantomile's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/13/2010 16:51
phantomile
C-Blog of the year.
PappaDukes's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/15/2010 12:16
PappaDukes
I've seen longer.
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