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About Me
Real name: Mike

Amazing gif!



bleh, man
Age:29
Lives in: Dallas, Tx
Occupation: Mayor of Metro City
Member of: Official Destructoid Beard Club
Consoles: 360, ds, snes, ps2
Hobbies: Games, reading, guitar, drinking

Because The GHost is teh awesome, my dtoid playing card:


Wanderingpixel is also awesome.


Current Games:

All of the things


Old Blogs:
Teh Randomtoid Linktoid (This is all my randomtoid blogs in one spot)
My Dtoid Thank You Note
One year w00t!
Avatar Chat
My Feelings On "Next-Gen"
Bleh-views:
Star Wars: The Force Unleashed
Lost: Via Domus
Community Discussion Time!
Gaming Journalism
Oh snap! Front paged!
Playing with Others: The Death of Split-Screen



My Hero:



My Left 4 Dead Dream Movie



Longcat:



Myspace profile: what the fuck is a myspace and when did this get here?

To e-mail malicious hatemail: blehman646@gmail.com

To whomever drew my header: Awesome
Note: old header link here

For Wiisucks:
Hi! My name is Jack Klassen.! I'm a completely ordinary teenage boy from San Diego, California. My interests include soccer, surfing, writing poetry, and luge. I am homeschooled by my father who fought in the Korean War and was exposed to nerve gas. He is kind of crazy but I still love him. We got the Internet two years ago and I started making new friends on Yahoo! messenger. Surprisingly, most of these new friends were older men who wanted to have illegal, underage sex with me. Needless to say, I got a boner like a rocketship and cybersex quickly became my favorite thing in the entire world. Wait, did I say boner like a rocketship? I meant my vagina got as wet as Lake Titicaca. I started saving all of the hot chat sessions I was having with the Pakistanis, lesbians, child molesters and other monsters who were instant messaging me all day and all night, and I decided to put them up here on this website so you can see exactly how disgusting the entire human race is. Since then, I have been in a waterskiing accident that mangled my genitals beyond repair, been diagnosed with cerebral palsy, brain cancer, and Crohn's disease, learned to speak Urdu and French, covered my naked body in superglue, went to French lesbian camp, made a Hindu eat a roast beef sandwich out of my vagina, and ruined perfectly good cybersex for at least one hundred people. Use the menu above to find out more about me and start reading my sexy adventures,





Also, I make people from Pheonix Wright cry:


Also, also, sparkle:


Also, also, also, jiggles:


Also, also, also, also, Trent!


Alsox5, kitteh:


Also, X-mas Shake(a.k.a. itemforty is teh sex)
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3DS friend code:
Steam: blehmeng
Battle:
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Mii:
Gamertag: blehmeng
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HELLO DESTRUCTOID COMMUNITIES SIR OR MADAMS IMPORTANT INFORMATION
blehman | 11:49 AM on 10.07.2009 32 comments


ATTN:
Dear Sir/M,
I am Mr.David Mark. an Auditor of a BANK OF THE NORTH
INTERNATIONAL,ABUJA
(FCT). I have the courage to Crave indulgence for
this important business
believing that you will never let me down
either now or in the future. Some
years ago, an American Mining
consultant/ contractor with the Nigeria National
Petroleum Corporation,
made a numbered time (fixed)deposit for twelve calendar
months, valued
$12M.USD (TWELVE MILLION US DOLLARS) in an account. On maturity,
The
bank sent a routine notification to his forwarding address but got no
reply.
After a month, The bank sent another reminder and finally his
contract
employers, the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation wrote
to inform the bank
that he died without MAKING A WILL, and all attempts
by the American Embassy to
trace his next of kin was fruitless. I
therefore, made further investigation and
discovered that the
beneficiary was an immigrant from Jamaica and only recently
obtained
American citizenship. He did not decla re any kin or relations in all
his official documents, including his Bank deposit paper work. This
money total
amount$12M.USD ( TWELVE MILLION US DOLLARS)is still sitting
in my bank as
dormant Account. No one will ever come forward to claim
it, and according to
Nigerian Banking policy, after some years, the
money will revert to the
ownership of the igerian Government if the
account owner is certified dead. This
is the situation, and my proposal
is that I am looking for a foreigner who will
stand in as the next of
kin to beneficiary, and OPEN a Bank Account abroad to
facilitate the
transfer of this money. This is simple, all you have to do is to
OPEN
an account anywhere in the world and send me its detail for me to
arrange
the proper money transfer paperwork, and facilitate the
transfer.The money will
then be paid into this Account for us to share
in the ratio of 60% for me, 35 %
for you and 5% for expenses that might
come up during transfer process. There is
no risk at all, and all the
paper work for this transaction will be done by me
using my position
and connections in the banks in Nigeria. This business
transaction is
guaranteed.And the first phase of the transfer will be ($4M.USD)
FOUR
MILLION DOLLARS as advised by our insider in the bank.If you are
interested, please reply immediately through my personal email sending
the
following details: (1) Your Full Name/Address (2) Your Private
Telephone/fax
Number. Please observe the utmost confidentiality, and be
rest assured that this
transaction would be most profitable for both of
us because I shall require your
assistance to invest some of my share
in your country. I look forward to your
earliest reply.
Yours,
Mr.David
Mark.




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30 comments | showing # 1 to 30
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entrager's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/07/2009 11:54
entrager
This belongs in the forums.
the Golden Avatar's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/07/2009 11:54
the Golden Avatar
Worst Spampost ever.
blehman's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/07/2009 11:56
blehman
I am very are serious about money helping you with the loans to get started on your new life with prince money found through banking legal means.
BulletTrain's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/07/2009 12:03
BulletTrain
Titties and making money? How could you go wrong?

I say we trust this guy.
entrager's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/07/2009 12:06
entrager
I wasn't going to be any part of this until I saw that it's from Nigeria. Nigerians have never given me any reason not to trust them.
blehman's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/07/2009 12:10
blehman
I know you need all reasons to believe and trust in me, so to assure you that I am indeed a person of realism and truthfullness, here is a picture of me taking from the internet with "shoe on head" as the woman requested.

MrSadistic's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/07/2009 12:13
MrSadistic
David slowly kissed the back of Michael's neck, while whispering in his ear only the love and tenderness 12 million dollars can bring. "Lets start life over Michael!" David said excitedly. "I mean it! We can start life again in Nigeria!" Michael stared deep into the eyes of his auditor lover. He knew that going to Nigeria would go against everything he stood for. Micheal knew the pain and suffering that the Bank of the North International has caused him before. With all his might, Michael tried to fight it... but he couldn't resist the blue, alluring eyes of his lover.
Velt's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/07/2009 12:26
Velt
So did you get the money and now you are rich enough to buy a PS3?
Stevil's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/07/2009 12:42
Stevil
http://www.davie.me.uk/images/likes/fonejacker.jpg

Please deposit da monies!

(A little Fonejacker reference for ya!)
blehman's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/07/2009 12:42
blehman
As David stood carrassing Michael, he knew the plan he had set in motion all those years and e-mails ago was finally coming to fruition. It had all started innocently enough, with the promise of the 12 million dollars lost to the legal system due to his last prince not having the foresight to make a will.

"And tonight," David said through Michael's neck, "tonight, it will start with you."
CrocBox's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/07/2009 12:44
CrocBox
You totally haven't suddenly lost your mind. NOPE! NOT AT ALL
PappaDukes's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/07/2009 12:44
PappaDukes
This seems legit.
Anonymouse's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/07/2009 13:09
Anonymouse
You must be drunk!

Nice girl at the bottom though.
Takeshi's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/07/2009 13:26
Takeshi
I want to read a novel written by Sadistic and Blehman.
blehman's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/07/2009 14:45
blehman
Nanbu is coming to call out all the double standard blogs LOOK OUT
MechaMonkey's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/07/2009 15:29
MechaMonkey
Nigeria?

That's racist.
ArrestedDeveloper's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/07/2009 15:41
ArrestedDeveloper
@entrager
It belongs in a museum!
DestructoidArtisans's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/07/2009 16:59
DestructoidArtisans
Sadistic, you and bleh need to start writing random fanfic in EVERY blog post you can. Just to spice shit up.
Sharpless's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/07/2009 17:14
Sharpless
Could you just give me money? You know I need it. Come on, man, just do it.

Also, tits.
TheToiletDuck's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/07/2009 17:15
TheToiletDuck
Do you have any authentic Indian watches left for sale? I need to know.
Puppy Licks's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/07/2009 17:38
Puppy Licks
But who do I get my viagra from!!?!?
ace of knaves's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/07/2009 18:07
ace of knaves
I have the implicit trusting.
adultswim810's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/07/2009 20:30
adultswim810
yes... sauce?
Gyrael's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/07/2009 20:58
Gyrael
I'll buy the fanfic if DMS collaborates.
ArcticFox's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/07/2009 21:19
ArcticFox
Yes, but do you sell handbags?
Qalamari's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/08/2009 00:27
Qalamari
Or fine leather jackets?
Kylius's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/08/2009 05:45
Kylius
or Nike sneakers?
Bulkmailer's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/08/2009 14:08
Bulkmailer
or juicy jewelry?
TheDRMaster's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/27/2009 10:11
TheDRMaster
GUYS SRSLY WHATS GOING ON IN THIS THREAD
Wintersocks's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/05/2009 14:04
Wintersocks
Also, Cocks.

Oops my mind got blown.
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