Hi! My name is Jack Klassen.! I'm a completely ordinary teenage boy from San Diego, California. My interests include soccer, surfing, writing poetry, and luge. I am homeschooled by my father who fought in the Korean War and was exposed to nerve gas. He is kind of crazy but I still love him. We got the Internet two years ago and I started making new friends on Yahoo! messenger. Surprisingly, most of these new friends were older men who wanted to have illegal, underage sex with me. Needless to say, I got a boner like a rocketship and cybersex quickly became my favorite thing in the entire world. Wait, did I say boner like a rocketship? I meant my vagina got as wet as Lake Titicaca. I started saving all of the hot chat sessions I was having with the Pakistanis, lesbians, child molesters and other monsters who were instant messaging me all day and all night, and I decided to put them up here on this website so you can see exactly how disgusting the entire human race is. Since then, I have been in a waterskiing accident that mangled my genitals beyond repair, been diagnosed with cerebral palsy, brain cancer, and Crohn's disease, learned to speak Urdu and French, covered my naked body in superglue, went to French lesbian camp, made a Hindu eat a roast beef sandwich out of my vagina, and ruined perfectly good cybersex for at least one hundred people. Use the menu above to find out more about me and start reading my sexy adventures,
Wow. Four years old, bigger than I'd ever imagined, and still rolling. Congrats, Dtoid, you deserve it.
Three years ago, if you'd told me that I'd still be contributing, hell, if you'd told me that I'd still be visiting a website, I'd have told you that you were crazy, who are you, why are you talking to me I'm trying to eat. But here we are.
I know that I've had my ups and downs with dtoid. I've sworn off of it, I've never wanted to leave. I've been more than a little displeased, as well as pleased, with some of the decisions on the site, with the direction of where it's headed, the future, blah blah blah, but when it all boils down, and it usually does, I come back here. All the time.
So, drink up, dear friends, strangers, lurkers. Go to the forums. Write a cblog. Hit up IRC, if you've got the balls or uteruses. Or is it uterusii? Join in on a flamebait Sterling post. Today is your day to do what you want. Just try not to suck any dick on the way through the parking lot.