Quantcast
Destructoid - blehman's Community Blog




About Me
Real name: Mike

Amazing gif!



bleh, man
Age:29
Lives in: Dallas, Tx
Occupation: Mayor of Metro City
Member of: Official Destructoid Beard Club
Consoles: 360, ds, snes, ps2
Hobbies: Games, reading, guitar, drinking

Because The GHost is teh awesome, my dtoid playing card:


Wanderingpixel is also awesome.


Current Games:

All of the things


Old Blogs:
Teh Randomtoid Linktoid (This is all my randomtoid blogs in one spot)
My Dtoid Thank You Note
One year w00t!
Avatar Chat
My Feelings On "Next-Gen"
Bleh-views:
Star Wars: The Force Unleashed
Lost: Via Domus
Community Discussion Time!
Gaming Journalism
Oh snap! Front paged!
Playing with Others: The Death of Split-Screen



My Hero:



My Left 4 Dead Dream Movie



Longcat:



Myspace profile: what the fuck is a myspace and when did this get here?

To e-mail malicious hatemail: blehman646@gmail.com

To whomever drew my header: Awesome
Note: old header link here

For Wiisucks:
Hi! My name is Jack Klassen.! I'm a completely ordinary teenage boy from San Diego, California. My interests include soccer, surfing, writing poetry, and luge. I am homeschooled by my father who fought in the Korean War and was exposed to nerve gas. He is kind of crazy but I still love him. We got the Internet two years ago and I started making new friends on Yahoo! messenger. Surprisingly, most of these new friends were older men who wanted to have illegal, underage sex with me. Needless to say, I got a boner like a rocketship and cybersex quickly became my favorite thing in the entire world. Wait, did I say boner like a rocketship? I meant my vagina got as wet as Lake Titicaca. I started saving all of the hot chat sessions I was having with the Pakistanis, lesbians, child molesters and other monsters who were instant messaging me all day and all night, and I decided to put them up here on this website so you can see exactly how disgusting the entire human race is. Since then, I have been in a waterskiing accident that mangled my genitals beyond repair, been diagnosed with cerebral palsy, brain cancer, and Crohn's disease, learned to speak Urdu and French, covered my naked body in superglue, went to French lesbian camp, made a Hindu eat a roast beef sandwich out of my vagina, and ruined perfectly good cybersex for at least one hundred people. Use the menu above to find out more about me and start reading my sexy adventures,





Also, I make people from Pheonix Wright cry:


Also, also, sparkle:


Also, also, also, jiggles:


Also, also, also, also, Trent!


Alsox5, kitteh:


Also, X-mas Shake(a.k.a. itemforty is teh sex)
Gamer Profile
3DS friend code:
Steam: blehmeng
Battle:
PSN:
Mii:
Gamertag: blehmeng
Following (112)
-D-
Aaron Mxy Yost
aborto thefetus
Aerox
Altered Beets
Atlas
B-Radicate
BahamutZero
bahss
balth
BigPopaGamer
blehman
bloodylip
BluDesign
BlueWolf72
Bob Muir
Brad Rice
Brandon Undead
Brian Szabelski
Brilliam
BulletMagnet
Butmac
CaffeinePowered
CarlostheJackal
Carrion Crow
ceark
Chad Concelmo
Chewpathingy
Clockwork - Avatar setup pending
Coonskin05
CountingConflict
Cowzilla3
CronosBlade
DaedHead8
digtastik
Droll
Drunkcast
DtoidAustin
El Guapo
Evil Blehman
Excremento
FAILCAST
Fuzzy
GayBear22
Hamza CTZ Aziz
Hoygeit
Iolaus
itemforty
JACK of No Trades
Jahute
jdub28
jerrt
Jesse Cortez
Jesus H Christ
Jim Sterling
Joanna Mueller
JoshDunford
kezins
king3vbo
Kryptinite
KyleGamgee
lacysquid
liam2015
Liz Alexander
Macca
Maurice Tan
MaxVest
MechaMonkey
mid3vol
Morrius
MrJunko
MrSadistic
mudkip5000
necrozen
Neonie
ninjamogzero
NobodysDream
nopk
NotAZombie
pendelton21
Phist
PointingDevice
power-glove
Qalamari
RICHARD BLOCKER
Riser Glen
Rockvillian
Sadie G
Sentry
ShadokatRegn
shipero
Snaileb
Spartacus
SPIDER PIG
Steel Squirrel
Surf314
tazarthayoot
The Faux-Bot
The GHost
TheNakedAnt
Tiff
To1kien
Tragic Hero
Velt
vexed alex
Vixen
Volcanon
VWGTI
WDot
wobblefunk
xper
Y0j1mb0
Cinci NARP: Random Thoughts 2
blehman | 6:17 PM on 06.02.2008 24 comments


Some moar random observations from the NARP.

Riser is like the fucking christ of drinking. Make him disappear for a few hours, he comes back just as strong.

Tazarthayoot is pretty much what you expect. Except much, much moar awesome. And he likes to give piggy back rides, just wish I hadn't had a beer to spill on him. Which I didn't but by the time I could give it away, Phist was already up there.

Drinking heavily after a looooong drive makes me think my duffel bag would be comfortable as a pillow. Laying on it while not too terribly tired and needing to go to sleep for a few hours makes me realize it's not.

Britini Martini and Cheeburga wear the same pants. Seriously.

Itemforty gets fucking hyper after drinking Tang frozen energy drink.

Dethklok, while an awesome cd, does not need to be played three times in a row.

I do not take good pictures.

NihonTiger has awesome pajama pants.

I still don't know what's going on with the after party.

Grimm = very, very quiet. Apparently he's not, but you could've fooled me.

Phist reminds me of me, except without the vacancy.

Coon reminded me to say this. We got to Tennessee, picked up Pangloss, and decided to get something to eat. So we hit up Jack in the Box. Dude walks up, asks if we're from Texas. Let's pick up from there.

Guy: So y'all from Texas, huh? Well, welcome to Tennessee.

Us: Well, thanks.

Guy: So....listen, I'm a little down on my luck, and wonder if you could give me a ride. Where are you going?

Item: Uh...the other way. (Note: improvisation, I don't remember what he said)

Guy: Oh, well do you guys have any change? They kicked me out of the gas station parking lot, and I need some money for a bus pass...

I left after that. Item is nice, he gave him change. The rest of us feigned credit cards.

Somehow I got shotgun or driver all the way back to Texas. Thanks for sitting in the back coon and pan!

I got stuck singing Coheed and Cambria. Luckily the sync was off on the drums. And guitars.

After reading Maxvest's posts for so long, it was odd seeing him in a shirt with sleeves. Cool guy, awesomely friendly girlfriend.

AgentMOO REEEALLY gets into singing NIN on rockband. What he lacks in hitting notes, he MOAR than makes up for with enthusiasm.

BongDonkey is a very appropriate handle.

It was only awkward for about twenty minutes the first night, when everyone was arriving. Then the beer and name tags got there, and everyone realized they kinda knew each other. That was actually pretty fucking awesome. Easier to remember that way too.

According to Ron, fucking nothing is coming out for the xbla exciting. So stop waiting. Also, it seemed like him and Joe were actually really excited to see us come out from Texas. Made me feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside. Until Joe twisted my nipple slowly. That kinda made me feel violated. You know, like the Depeche Mode cd.

There was a bartender at the Wings and Rings with Austin Powers teeth. Everytime she opened her mouth, I thought bugs would come out. Ewwwwww.

Hoygeit will take any chance to sit on tall walls.

Alright. I think that covers most of it. If I forgot you, then I'm sorry, I won't be in my right mind for a few days and wanted to get this out of the way before I tired you all out.

First random thoughts



Is this post awesome? Vote it up!

0



Post a comment! You can also post a photo below:

Comment with Facebook





Click connect and comment instantly!

Comment with Dtoid





New? SIGN UP - it takes 5 seconds

23 comments | showing # 1 to 23
prev next

Coonskin05's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/02/2008 18:35
Coonskin05
Dude, the Dethalbum was played approximately 6 times in the car and was equally awesome everytime. Also, The first hour that Item was drinking that Tang slushie was goddamn hilarious.
blehman's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/02/2008 18:44
blehman
Yes, but consecutively coon, consecutively twice is enough.

Also, forgot to mention, if you painted PetiePal green you'd get sued for copy-right infringement. Dude is tall.
tazarthayoot's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/02/2008 18:53
tazarthayoot
<3 u man
itemforty's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/02/2008 18:59
itemforty
No coon, TRUTH IS HILARIOUS.
Coonskin05's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/02/2008 19:02
Coonskin05
"You see that storm system in front of us? That shit's the truth. A storm of truth. And I'm about to take you into it."

-Touchdown Kelldorf
aborto thefetus's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/02/2008 19:11
aborto thefetus
Damn it, I want to go to a Narp:(
Pangloss's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/02/2008 19:29
Pangloss
FUCK YEAH, I'M READY TO DRIVE FOR FUCKING EVER, THANKS TO TANG FUCKIN' ENERGY DRINK.

Note: I may have put one too many fucks up there, but the general feel of the exclamation, I feel, is the same.
Pangloss's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/02/2008 19:36
Pangloss
Reaprar, I just remember Ron yelling "Who likes MegaMan?" and Keener would be right there with his fucking shirt.
Jordan Devore's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/02/2008 19:41
Jordan Devore
Yep, I'm a quiet guy. It was nice meeting you, for realz.
TheBongDonkey's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/02/2008 19:44
TheBongDonkey
CHARLZ NOOOOOOOOOO!
BongDonkey is very inappropriate and should be boo'd BOOOOOOOO

i luv chu
Cirucus's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/02/2008 20:33
Cirucus
I loved the NARP and cannot wait for the next! BongDonkey was too busy talking up two gentlemen who seemed to not listen. Joe was too busy droaning into the mic, and Ron was quite the host! Robert Bowling was fabulous! The free T-shirts were great, and letting my step son play Ninja Gaiden II and then giving him a copy! Wow what can I say, You all ROCKED the house!
AgentMOO's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/02/2008 20:48
AgentMOO
OH COME ON WHO YOU FOOLING ELECTRO BLEHMON I KNOW YOU WERE RAISED A SMALL BLACK CHILD IN MISSISSIPPI
ShadowWolf's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/02/2008 20:50
ShadowWolf
Definitely was awesome meeting you & everyone.

Just wish I weren't so damn tired on Friday - seems I missed some cool stuff.

"Hoygeit will take any chance to sit on tall walls."

QFT
bleep's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/02/2008 21:05
bleep
God dammit I can't believe I missed this thing!!!

still haven't seen any pics though...
MATTFOO's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/02/2008 21:09
MATTFOO
upper deckers all around?
Hoygeit's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/02/2008 21:36
Hoygeit
Lot of love for you baby.
BluDesign's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/02/2008 21:54
BluDesign
As a responsible adult I have to publicly shame all of you for behaving so irresponsibly.

I hope someones comes to mah NARP in October...
Dynamic Sheep's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/02/2008 22:24
Dynamic Sheep
"There was a bartender at the Wings and Rings with Austin Powers teeth. Everytime she opened her mouth, I thought bugs would come out. Ewwwwww."

LOL! I remember her!

Can I get you somethin' hunny? Yes ma'am... do you have one of those mind eraser things from "Men in Black", I'd like to erase your smile from my mind permanently, as it is the thing that nightmares are made of.
Samit Sarkar's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/03/2008 01:52
Samit Sarkar
I’m glad you told me the story of how you got your Dtoid name; I was always wondering how it came about. I’ll hopefully be working on my shout-out post tomorrow...it’s going to be massive.
PetiePal's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/03/2008 08:08
PetiePal
HAHAHAHAHAAH harrrrrrr harrrrrrr the Austin Powers teeth person!
Stryffe's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/03/2008 11:06
Stryffe
I'm ready for NARP TX! Blehman and I will pimp out my car for rides.
TheBongDonkey's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/03/2008 21:11
TheBongDonkey
dont make fun of me for talking 2 two guys that didnt care or listen, im lonely and have no friends and its all i can do to keep from crying myself to sleep and listening to britni snore...... loudly, like chainsaw snore!

but on the real, u kept watching me didnt u, waiting to see if id like.....do something funny, like hesashark?
prev next

Comment with Facebook





Click connect and comment instantly!

Comment with Dtoid





New? SIGN UP - it takes 5 seconds

Comments policy

Destructoid is an open discussion community. You don't need to "audition" to post a comment - just speak your mind. We respect differing opinions on the site, so have at it. Be smart, funny, insightful, clueless, or cute -- but back it up with substance. Keep your cool, keep it fun. We only ask that you act respectfully and above all: don't be a troll and ruin it for everyone else. Don't bring down gamers or we'll, you know, gently shoot you in the face and stuff you into a flaming mailbox. Each comment is your opportuntity to make this community awesomer. Is that even a word?

Avoiding the banhammer only requires common sense: spamming, trolling, racism, NSFW stuff, and other forms of sucking will not be tolerated. If anyone is griefing please report abuse. Be good. Don't suck!