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About Me
Real name: Mike

Amazing gif!



bleh, man
Age:29
Lives in: Dallas, Tx
Occupation: Mayor of Metro City
Member of: Official Destructoid Beard Club
Consoles: 360, ds, snes, ps2
Hobbies: Games, reading, guitar, drinking

Because The GHost is teh awesome, my dtoid playing card:


Wanderingpixel is also awesome.


Current Games:

All of the things


Old Blogs:
Teh Randomtoid Linktoid (This is all my randomtoid blogs in one spot)
My Dtoid Thank You Note
One year w00t!
Avatar Chat
My Feelings On "Next-Gen"
Bleh-views:
Star Wars: The Force Unleashed
Lost: Via Domus
Community Discussion Time!
Gaming Journalism
Oh snap! Front paged!
Playing with Others: The Death of Split-Screen



My Hero:



My Left 4 Dead Dream Movie



Longcat:



Myspace profile: what the fuck is a myspace and when did this get here?

To e-mail malicious hatemail: blehman646@gmail.com

To whomever drew my header: Awesome
Note: old header link here

For Wiisucks:
Hi! My name is Jack Klassen.! I'm a completely ordinary teenage boy from San Diego, California. My interests include soccer, surfing, writing poetry, and luge. I am homeschooled by my father who fought in the Korean War and was exposed to nerve gas. He is kind of crazy but I still love him. We got the Internet two years ago and I started making new friends on Yahoo! messenger. Surprisingly, most of these new friends were older men who wanted to have illegal, underage sex with me. Needless to say, I got a boner like a rocketship and cybersex quickly became my favorite thing in the entire world. Wait, did I say boner like a rocketship? I meant my vagina got as wet as Lake Titicaca. I started saving all of the hot chat sessions I was having with the Pakistanis, lesbians, child molesters and other monsters who were instant messaging me all day and all night, and I decided to put them up here on this website so you can see exactly how disgusting the entire human race is. Since then, I have been in a waterskiing accident that mangled my genitals beyond repair, been diagnosed with cerebral palsy, brain cancer, and Crohn's disease, learned to speak Urdu and French, covered my naked body in superglue, went to French lesbian camp, made a Hindu eat a roast beef sandwich out of my vagina, and ruined perfectly good cybersex for at least one hundred people. Use the menu above to find out more about me and start reading my sexy adventures,





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Alsox5, kitteh:


Also, X-mas Shake(a.k.a. itemforty is teh sex)
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Blehmpressions: Legendary
blehman | 10:51 AM on 11.06.2008 18 comments



This is awesome.

With the plethora of top tier titles coming out this winter season, it's easy for a few games to slip through the cracks and be missed. One of these games that's not really high profile, but has been advertised as such, is Legendary. I've had my eye on this game for a while, but I just recently learned that it was developed by the guys who did Turning Point: Fall of Liberty. Undaunted, I still believed that this game could have a chance at being good, because seriously, you're fighting griffons and werewolves for most of the game. After having played through the first few levels, let me tell you, I was kind of right, but mostly wrong.


Still probably won't hit that werewolf buddy.

This game is bad. Terribly, horribly, no-good, very bad, BAD. The graphics are straight out of last-gen, no small feat since they're working with Unreal engine 3. Textures are muddied and dark. The character models look like they were an afterthought. Cutscenes are unskippable. Movement can be jerky, and often times I've found myself strafing for no reason. Aiming is poor and hit detection on enemies is almost non-existant, especially on the Nari, my new worst hated enemy ever. The guns feel as if they have no weight or kick at all, and I don't believe I've ever moved the front of my gun first when aiming down the sites. The enemies are all overpowered and coming for you in packs. Enemy AI is retardly accurate, while even with aim assist on your accuracy is nil. Friendly AI is cannon fodder, nothing more. Level design is decidedly bad, with narrow, linear to a fault paths that often times decide to double back because you can't jump more than a foot off the ground. The story is straight cheese, and the voice acting could've used some fine-tuning too. The Animus system used for attacking and healing doesn't always work too well, and takes to long to use.


First boss. No, really.

All that being said, this game is freaking awesome. It's a bad game, and it probably wasn't designed to be this bad, but it is. It's a B movie in a game. The scale of some of the enemies, the bad script, the overall presentation, I love it. It's hard as piss too, not just due to the controls, but also because they throw wave after wave after wave of overpowered monsters at you and you can't aim for anything. When werewolves or other powerful enemies hit you straight on, regardless of what you're doing your head gets turned and bright bloody claw streaks line the screen. Blood and explosions are everywhere. It's like if you took an eighties metal band, added some mythical creatures, some pyrotechnics, and some good 'ol fashioned drug abuse, mixed it together with some guys who really, really tried, duct taped it all together, spit on it and sent it out the door. I seriously can't wait to get home and see what horrible thing they've made for me to go through next.

So, all in all, I've decided that I like Legendary so far, I just wish I hadn't bought it at full price. It's kinda like those bad movies I find so wonderful because they're five dollars in a clearance bin somewhere, and so very, very delightfully bad. Once I finish I'll write a definitive report, but DO NOT BUY THIS GAME YET. Seriously, unless you're a sadiomasochist or love very bad things, it's really not worth it.



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17 comments | showing # 1 to 17
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king3vbo's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/06/2008 11:31
king3vbo
So when it's 5 bucks in a bargain bin, totally worth it?
Mr Wrighty 987's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/06/2008 11:40
Mr Wrighty 987
i played this game for 5 minutes and i got about 6 achievement! so its ok for achievements whores
Holyetheline's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/06/2008 11:50
Holyetheline
I will pick this up when it's cheap then.
Jordan Devore's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/06/2008 11:52
Jordan Devore
I will be getting this next summer.
Anus Mcphanus's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/06/2008 12:22
Anus Mcphanus
Funnily enough this game is so bad that the name of it fits perfectly... It's not surprising that it's made by the same guys that made Turning Point.
ShawnKelfonne's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/06/2008 13:13
ShawnKelfonne
Nobody is even selling this game around here.
Sharpless's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/06/2008 13:18
Sharpless
Gamecock publishing a shitty game? Say it ain't so.
electristan's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/06/2008 13:24
electristan
i want to play it just to see the Golem, are all the bosses crazy big like that?
aborto thefetus's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/06/2008 13:41
aborto thefetus
What if I weasel somebody into buying it for me for Christmas? Would it be worth it?

This is kind of dissapointing because I was looking forward to this. Not a lot, but looking forward to it nonetheless.
SilverDragon1979's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/06/2008 13:49
SilverDragon1979
I will probably pick this game up honestly, but not until it drops to around $20.
blehman's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/06/2008 13:59
blehman
Seriously y'all, this game is horrible. I'm enjoying it on a purely bad level. It's frustrating to the point of breaking something, and ugly enough to beat children with. Getting it for free is much > paying for it.
Darren Nakamura's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/06/2008 14:05
Darren Nakamura
Sounds delightfully awful.
big filth's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/06/2008 14:06
big filth
shocker! knowing its made by the guys who made turning point should have kept you away!!!

when this game gets to 9.99 Ill pick it up
Steel Squirrel's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/06/2008 14:12
Steel Squirrel
I too, find myself strafing for no reason sometimes... in real life...

>.>
<.<

/strafe
Skribble's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/06/2008 18:56
Skribble
"It's like if you took an eighties metal band, added some mythical creatures, some pyrotechnics, and some good 'ol fashioned drug abuse, mixed it together with some guys who really, really tried, duct taped it all together, spit on it and sent it out the door."

hahahah

Thanks blehman, I think I will also really like this game based on what you've said.
nebones's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/06/2008 19:48
nebones
I thought you were playing Jack Blacks game when I saw on my friends list :[
Dyson's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/10/2008 14:03
Dyson
Maybe you should review for the site ;)

Anyway, agree - rent the game maybe, but don't buy it all full price.
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