Hi! My name is Jack Klassen.! I'm a completely ordinary teenage boy from San Diego, California. My interests include soccer, surfing, writing poetry, and luge. I am homeschooled by my father who fought in the Korean War and was exposed to nerve gas. He is kind of crazy but I still love him. We got the Internet two years ago and I started making new friends on Yahoo! messenger. Surprisingly, most of these new friends were older men who wanted to have illegal, underage sex with me. Needless to say, I got a boner like a rocketship and cybersex quickly became my favorite thing in the entire world. Wait, did I say boner like a rocketship? I meant my vagina got as wet as Lake Titicaca. I started saving all of the hot chat sessions I was having with the Pakistanis, lesbians, child molesters and other monsters who were instant messaging me all day and all night, and I decided to put them up here on this website so you can see exactly how disgusting the entire human race is. Since then, I have been in a waterskiing accident that mangled my genitals beyond repair, been diagnosed with cerebral palsy, brain cancer, and Crohn's disease, learned to speak Urdu and French, covered my naked body in superglue, went to French lesbian camp, made a Hindu eat a roast beef sandwich out of my vagina, and ruined perfectly good cybersex for at least one hundred people. Use the menu above to find out more about me and start reading my sexy adventures,
Yes, that's right. Avatar chat. First, let me say:
Alright, back on topic. I was just thinking to myself, and if you haven't noticed, changing my av every few hours and days, wondering what everyone thinks about avatar changes. For the most part I've stuck with good ol Broodwich Shake, but occasionally I'll find something else, like bitey kitteh, or my new favoritist thing, Chibi Alien, which I stole from some bad aborto thefetus clone. God, that guy sucks.
This is the cutest Alien ever. Ever.
But it throws me off. Well, not changing my own, but when it happens with other community members it throws me the fuck off. Because really, isn't that what you see first when you look at someone commenting? It sometimes takes days for me to figure out, "Oh, that's so-and-so" when they change, just due to the fact that I get used to them by what they look like. I know, don't judge a book by it's cover and whatnot, but when the book is another person, and their cover is what they decide it should be, when it suddenly switches, what does that say?
So that's why I'm hesitant to change. Cowzilla said it best when he wrote, "Hey, don't bitch, I'm stuck with a banana with a face." (Note: Probably not verbatim there) And I remember butmac saying when I switched back after the first time I changed "blehman = shake". Snailey boy, too.
Now also let me say I've never been an online community member before, so I don't know if there are unspoken rules about this or not, or if it's just a preferential thing. Personally for me it's a preference thing. It's my preference that you stay the damn same so I can figure out who you are, or if you are gonna change, at least keep the same theme running, like snail's stormtrooper motif, or MrSadistic's "zombie/killer/kitteh" thing. But if it's my preference that y'all stay the same, what does it say if I change? "Fuck you" most likely. And I don't want anyone (weeeeeeeeeeellllllll, most anyone) thinking that I think about them that way. Internet is truly serious business. Shocking, I know.
Anyway, enough ranting about one of the least important things ever. I just wanted to know if anyone else held internet avatars as high up as I apparently do.