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About Me
Real name: Mike

Amazing gif!



bleh, man
Age:29
Lives in: Dallas, Tx
Occupation: Mayor of Metro City
Member of: Official Destructoid Beard Club
Consoles: 360, ds, snes, ps2
Hobbies: Games, reading, guitar, drinking

Because The GHost is teh awesome, my dtoid playing card:


Wanderingpixel is also awesome.


Current Games:

All of the things


Old Blogs:
Teh Randomtoid Linktoid (This is all my randomtoid blogs in one spot)
My Dtoid Thank You Note
One year w00t!
Avatar Chat
My Feelings On "Next-Gen"
Bleh-views:
Star Wars: The Force Unleashed
Lost: Via Domus
Community Discussion Time!
Gaming Journalism
Oh snap! Front paged!
Playing with Others: The Death of Split-Screen



My Hero:



My Left 4 Dead Dream Movie



Longcat:



Myspace profile: what the fuck is a myspace and when did this get here?

To e-mail malicious hatemail: blehman646@gmail.com

To whomever drew my header: Awesome
Note: old header link here

For Wiisucks:
Hi! My name is Jack Klassen.! I'm a completely ordinary teenage boy from San Diego, California. My interests include soccer, surfing, writing poetry, and luge. I am homeschooled by my father who fought in the Korean War and was exposed to nerve gas. He is kind of crazy but I still love him. We got the Internet two years ago and I started making new friends on Yahoo! messenger. Surprisingly, most of these new friends were older men who wanted to have illegal, underage sex with me. Needless to say, I got a boner like a rocketship and cybersex quickly became my favorite thing in the entire world. Wait, did I say boner like a rocketship? I meant my vagina got as wet as Lake Titicaca. I started saving all of the hot chat sessions I was having with the Pakistanis, lesbians, child molesters and other monsters who were instant messaging me all day and all night, and I decided to put them up here on this website so you can see exactly how disgusting the entire human race is. Since then, I have been in a waterskiing accident that mangled my genitals beyond repair, been diagnosed with cerebral palsy, brain cancer, and Crohn's disease, learned to speak Urdu and French, covered my naked body in superglue, went to French lesbian camp, made a Hindu eat a roast beef sandwich out of my vagina, and ruined perfectly good cybersex for at least one hundred people. Use the menu above to find out more about me and start reading my sexy adventures,





Also, I make people from Pheonix Wright cry:


Also, also, sparkle:


Also, also, also, jiggles:


Also, also, also, also, Trent!


Alsox5, kitteh:


Also, X-mas Shake(a.k.a. itemforty is teh sex)
Gamer Profile
3DS friend code:
Steam: blehmeng
Battle:
PSN:
Mii:
Gamertag: blehmeng
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A Sad, Sad Tale
blehman | 12:26 PM on 06.30.2008 32 comments


So there I was. Just, you know, chilling, bored out of my head and sobering up from years of alcohol abuse when I decided to play me some Ninja Gaiden 2. I'd gotten a little ways into it (by which I mean to the second boss) and I'd decided to cowboy up, take my beatings, and move on. So, I fight. I fight, and lose, and fight, and lose. Not going too well.

Finally, I start making some headway against him and his minions of "get in my way again, gotdamnit" ninja's, when my screen freezes. My controller still vibrating warmly in my hands. My mouth drops open. My heart sinks.

"No," I tell myself, "No...this can't be happening.."

I turn the 360 off. I turn in back on.


OH HAI THUR!


NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

*weeps silently*

Alright then. Well, that sucks. So, no mas xbox for a little while, hopefully it'll be like last years RROD and take just over a week to get shipped and back.

On the plus side, I still have my crippling Animal Crossing addiction, and have rediscovered the joys of this:



Since my xbox left me on Saturday morning, I've logged over ten hours on P3 and can't wait to get off work to go back to playing. Normally I hate dungeon crawling games like this, but with the personas to unlock, the social links to develop, and the story overall, I'm hooked. Not to mention it has some of the greatest music ever.



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32 comments | showing # 1 to 32
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BlindsideDork's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/30/2008 12:30
BlindsideDork
PS3's only have ONE red light. It just taunts you when it is not on.
MrSadistic's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/30/2008 12:32
MrSadistic
NOW YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL SUCKA

Oh and yeah I normally hate dungeon crawlers as well, but P3 had me addicted even if shitty ending was shitty.
king3vbo's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/30/2008 12:33
king3vbo
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Also, In before rampant fanboy attacks.

I totally want to get back into Persona 3 and finish it, but there's just so many distractions
shipero's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/30/2008 12:33
shipero
Do you need a hug? 'cause I got hugs to spare.
nintendoll's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/30/2008 12:38
nintendoll
OMG you're crippled my animal crossing too?

I lost my original DS card, and my sister gave me hers so I have to start over. Wanna cross some animals?
blehman's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/30/2008 12:42
blehman
@Nintendoll

Yeah...it's kinda sad in a way, but if I want to spend two hours fishing and bug hunting, what's the big deal? Also, I don't even know my friend code yet. =(
SteamyV's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/30/2008 12:46
SteamyV
Ugh. As always, red rings suck.

You should come up to Louisville this weekend and tell me all about how crappy you feel.
AngelsDontBurn's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/30/2008 12:52
AngelsDontBurn
Aww that sucks. I'm sorry about your loss. :(

THOSE BASTARDS!
galagabug 's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/30/2008 12:55
galagabug
thats always hilarious when it doesn't happen to me. kinda like gettin kicked in the nuts. in videogame form.
SilverDragon1979's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/30/2008 13:02
SilverDragon1979
Blehman that totally sucks about your XBOX360. Is this only the 2nd time it has happened or has it happened more? Was it one of the newer XBOX's that was supposed to be immune to this kind of bullshit?

Have fun playing your PS2 in the meantime. Maybe it's time to invest in a PS3.
Puppetpallmich's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/30/2008 13:04
Puppetpallmich


The towels... use them to breath life into once was an amazing machine
blehman's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/30/2008 13:10
blehman
@SD1979

2nd time, no it was a refurbish from the first time, and not yet. And how does the towel thing work? Melt the melted piece back into place?
Mr Wilson's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/30/2008 13:10
Mr Wilson
Hey Blehman...FUCK YOU!

You got me addicted to ACWW with you gay blog full of gayness and temptation...I dont know if you can/how to share designs, but i got a badass Dtoid shirt and hat i could share with you...But i still cant get my FC...
Puppetpallmich's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/30/2008 13:21
Puppetpallmich
let sir cheapy d show u the towel trick

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=avWs4-wD15w
Samit Sarkar's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/30/2008 13:23
Samit Sarkar
Sorry to hear it, man. But you seem to be taking it in stride, which is good.
Dynamic Sheep's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/30/2008 13:25
Dynamic Sheep
@puppet:

[img]slowclap.gif[/img]

Proper spelling AND helpful advice. You're a changed man!
naia-the-gamer's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/30/2008 13:29
naia-the-gamer
I feel for you. Mine died a week ago. I just got the box from Microsoft to send it back. My TV looks so lonely without my 360. :(
Dynamic Sheep's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/30/2008 13:29
Dynamic Sheep
Sorry to hear about your loss blehman. Hopefully your coffin comes back as quickly as last time. Zombie 360 FTW!
Puppetpallmich's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/30/2008 13:30
Puppetpallmich
@ dynamicsheep
bad bb code. u sir are exactly the same
RICHARD BLOCKER's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/30/2008 13:55
RICHARD BLOCKER
That's a shame. Here's to wishing a speedy return of your box.
Y0j1mb0's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/30/2008 14:00
Y0j1mb0
Sorry to hear that bro..but on the bright side when I sent mine for repairs it came back real quick.


Also, sweet banner man.
Rifter01's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/30/2008 14:03
Rifter01
Oy vey!!! :(((( Not another, damn.
pumpy's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/30/2008 14:54
pumpy
You gotta wonder why they didn't just go for the full circle of doom.
MechaMonkey's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/30/2008 16:09
MechaMonkey
Seems to be going around Dtoid lately. I hope I'm not next. :(
MechaMonkey's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/30/2008 16:10
MechaMonkey
Seems to be going around Dtoid lately. I hope I'm not next. :(
BahamutZero's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/30/2008 16:13
BahamutZero
I am so sorry for your tragic loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
TrailerParkJesus's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/30/2008 19:17
TrailerParkJesus
At least you get a free month of Live..
aborto thefetus's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/30/2008 20:51
aborto thefetus
LOLOLOLOLOLOL
PaperBowser0's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/30/2008 20:56
PaperBowser0
Yeah, life hates me too. :(
pendelton21's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/01/2008 09:26
pendelton21
I weep a tear for you.
Maurice Tan's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/01/2008 11:04
Maurice Tan
NOOOOOOO!

I know I'm late to the party :(
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