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About Me
Real name: Mike

Amazing gif!



bleh, man
Age:29
Lives in: Dallas, Tx
Occupation: Mayor of Metro City
Member of: Official Destructoid Beard Club
Consoles: 360, ds, snes, ps2
Hobbies: Games, reading, guitar, drinking

Because The GHost is teh awesome, my dtoid playing card:


Wanderingpixel is also awesome.


Current Games:

All of the things


Old Blogs:
Teh Randomtoid Linktoid (This is all my randomtoid blogs in one spot)
My Dtoid Thank You Note
One year w00t!
Avatar Chat
My Feelings On "Next-Gen"
Bleh-views:
Star Wars: The Force Unleashed
Lost: Via Domus
Community Discussion Time!
Gaming Journalism
Oh snap! Front paged!
Playing with Others: The Death of Split-Screen



My Hero:



My Left 4 Dead Dream Movie



Longcat:



Myspace profile: what the fuck is a myspace and when did this get here?

To e-mail malicious hatemail: blehman646@gmail.com

To whomever drew my header: Awesome
Note: old header link here

For Wiisucks:
Hi! My name is Jack Klassen.! I'm a completely ordinary teenage boy from San Diego, California. My interests include soccer, surfing, writing poetry, and luge. I am homeschooled by my father who fought in the Korean War and was exposed to nerve gas. He is kind of crazy but I still love him. We got the Internet two years ago and I started making new friends on Yahoo! messenger. Surprisingly, most of these new friends were older men who wanted to have illegal, underage sex with me. Needless to say, I got a boner like a rocketship and cybersex quickly became my favorite thing in the entire world. Wait, did I say boner like a rocketship? I meant my vagina got as wet as Lake Titicaca. I started saving all of the hot chat sessions I was having with the Pakistanis, lesbians, child molesters and other monsters who were instant messaging me all day and all night, and I decided to put them up here on this website so you can see exactly how disgusting the entire human race is. Since then, I have been in a waterskiing accident that mangled my genitals beyond repair, been diagnosed with cerebral palsy, brain cancer, and Crohn's disease, learned to speak Urdu and French, covered my naked body in superglue, went to French lesbian camp, made a Hindu eat a roast beef sandwich out of my vagina, and ruined perfectly good cybersex for at least one hundred people. Use the menu above to find out more about me and start reading my sexy adventures,





Also, I make people from Pheonix Wright cry:


Also, also, sparkle:


Also, also, also, jiggles:


Also, also, also, also, Trent!


Alsox5, kitteh:


Also, X-mas Shake(a.k.a. itemforty is teh sex)
Gamer Profile
3DS friend code:
Steam: blehmeng
Battle:
PSN:
Mii:
Gamertag: blehmeng
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A Public Apology...
blehman | 1:03 PM on 02.18.2008 26 comments




To you, my wii, I owe an apology. For the longest time you've sat next to my TV, waiting patiently while I've been busy plowing into my 360, keeping the PS2 near the side, and sneaking off to my room for a little SNES action. No more. No, now that you are fixed again, I have to come back.

I had forgotten for awhile about how much fun I could have with you. For those long, lonely months after I got you, you were a tech toy. Something to show off to friends, and for those long nights playing drinking games and home-run derby. No more. You are mine now once again, and I aims it to stay that way.

You'd been broke for too long. After christmas, when that ill-begotten HD-DVD drive moved in, and ripped your cord right out from your sensor, I thought we'd be back together soon. But no. No. It took us two months to get out from under that. And what did it take? What?





That's right. Between these two games, and a new motion sensor, I am having the most fun with my wii since, well, ever. So I'm sorry wii. May I never doubt you again. Just keep releasing GOOD GAMES, and we'll be church.



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21 comments | showing # 1 to 21
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VWGTI's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/18/2008 13:05
VWGTI
I put my Wii up for adoption. It's in the care of a good family now. I wish I could be a good father like you are. A shining example, good sir!
Tragic Hero's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/18/2008 13:05
Tragic Hero
Its ok, you're not the only one. Even with Super Mario Galaxies I found it hard to compel myself to play my Wii. But once I got No More Heroes I was playing it every day after work and after school.
MrSadistic's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/18/2008 13:10
MrSadistic
Yeah you better apologize, jerk.
CaffeinePowered's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/18/2008 13:13
CaffeinePowered
Oh, just wait until brawl, the two of you will be inseperable
Sadie G's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/18/2008 13:17
Sadie G
<3
you guys make a cute couple.
B-Radicate's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/18/2008 13:18
B-Radicate
Super Mario Galaxy was good but not as good as I had hoped. The word "innovative" had been thrown around way too much prior to my playing it to be really all that impressed. It's essentially the same game it's always been, only with waggle. I was, personally, let down by it.

I'm holding out for Smash, though. Until then, 360 gets the love.
Snaileb 's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/18/2008 13:22
Snaileb
I have so much to say, but it pretty much boils down to FUCK THE WII.

But I'll be loving Brawl in a couple of weeks.
PointingDevice's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/18/2008 13:27
PointingDevice
I LOL'D, sir. True story.
Surf314's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/18/2008 13:32
Surf314
@Caff

I'm going to be on my honeymoon when Brawl comes out and I'm extremely disappointed. I mean I'm going to be in Costa Rica for heaven's sakes and I want to be home playing Brawl. The sad thing is that I think she does too.
Oni's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/18/2008 13:42
Oni
Man, I wish the cover of No More Heroes really did look like that. That looks so much more badass than the one that they released the game with.

Between Zack and Wiki, No More Heroes, Mario Galaxy and Umbrella Chronicles, my Wii has been getting one hell of a work out. Now with Brawl on the horizon and some good WiiWare titles like Eternity's Child and FFCC:TCB, not to mention all of the great old games on the VC, I've been hella busy.
Always Ten Feet Tall's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/18/2008 13:43
Always Ten Feet Tall
this has happened to me with every nintendo console since the N64.


big name game comes out....wait 4 months for another.


endless cycle
Sadie G's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/18/2008 14:07
Sadie G
Can't comment on your birthday post at work but Happy Birthday :)
JonDarkwood's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/18/2008 14:15
JonDarkwood
Gamers are so jaded these days, it can't be helped.

How sad for us...
Bob Muir's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/18/2008 14:28
Bob Muir
Seriously, Brawl. You'll never leave your Wii again.
blehman's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/18/2008 14:28
blehman
@DanGale

dude, this is the first I've complained. WTF mate?
mix's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/18/2008 14:34
mix
No More Heroes is my love on the Wii. I have no desire to play Mario and sadly, I have not liked a Brawl title to date as I really don't enjoy fighting games.

We need a new Mario RPG (not a paper mario one either)
Justice's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/18/2008 14:39
Justice
Both games are awesome!
Snaileb 's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/18/2008 15:44
Snaileb
@ Dan Gale : Im not doing this to piss you off, you're an awesome guy and I respect your opinion, but you're still going to get the same immature 5th grade answer from me. Fuck that gawd dayumed Wii.
VWGTI's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/18/2008 15:45
VWGTI
lol @ Snaileb
xper's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/18/2008 16:06
xper
i want to play no more heroes, just to write a review saying how over-hyped the game is and call everyone loooving it garbage-eating e-tards (thanks jack for making that acronym pop again) just because they think "punk's not dead"(ironically stating that punk actually is dead by that very statement).

i hope i'm wrong though and that the wii finally got a "hardcore" game
Triphoppin's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/18/2008 19:32
Triphoppin
you grasshopper - you have become great
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