So, a few weeks ago, maybe less, probably not, I don't know my short term memory is destroyed, a fellow by the name of bludesign(dvddesign for those of you living in the past) came by to visit. Among NOT giving me some games for mah PS3, which, contrary to popular belief, I do have, he brought some games and movies over to play and watch. I won't go into too many details about the scotch soaked depravities witnessed on this fateful day, but I do want to discuss something that is now near and dear to my heart.

How the fuck did I miss out on Burnout: Paradise for so long?


Sex disguised as a racing game.

Seriously, I don't like racing games. They get boring too quickly, the AI gets incredibly cheap incredibly fast, and it just seems to get repetative. But this isn't like that. This is...well, good. Everytime I start a game it's like "What am I going to try and do now?" Should I start some races? Should I drive around as fast as I can and hit things? should I put on some pants or close the blinds? What about the jumps and breakable things, should I hit those?

Every time I play it's different, and it's all located in the same city. No more waiting around for a race to start, it's my decision. No more getting stuck having to do the same race over and over to progress, now if I don't like a race I can move on to something else. Tired of the car you have? Get a new one. Tired of cars, period? Play "let's go as fast as possible without hitting anything hopefully" with a bike. Tired of bikes? Stop being picky dammit, go back to cars then.

I've played both versions of the game, and they both look and play fantastic. Unfortunantly, due to me having an insuperiority complex, I felt the need to get the 360 version for cheevos over the PS3's "trophy" system. I like my gamerscore better than my trophy collection. Sue me, I got Killzone 2 too, so :P. I'll get trophies on the PS3 exclusives. I just prefer my 360 controller over the PS controller. If you told me five years ago that I'd be saying that, I'd have punched you in the crotch, but meh, time happens.

Anyway, what was I writing about? Oh, yeah, Burnout. I haven't had the chance to play multi-player more than a few minutes, but the "hit two buttons be online" aspect of the game is incredibly awesome. I just need to get better cars before I try and stand a chance there. Fucking Ecto-1 ramming me and knocking me out regardless of grumble, grumble, grumble...So I'll definitely be playing it on a FNF in the not too terribly distant future. Or another night if we can pick one.

So, tl;dr Burnout Paradise is the fucking tits, and for twenty dollars why haven't you got it right now too?