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HEY GUIZE WHO CARES WHAT ANYONE ELSE WROTE I GOT THIS PICTURE AND IT'S TEH FUCKING AWESOME DISCUSS LOOLLXLXZZ!!! FUCK PUSHING STORIES AND SHIT DOWN LOOK AT ME!!
...yeah, in case anyone missed it, this is on the fucking post page:
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You are likely to be eaten by a grue. If this predicament seems particularly cruel, consider whose fault it could be: not a torch or a match in your inventory.
It got narrated at you in the second person. Every time you booted up, it seemed you got another version of your life told to you by a status line blinking, the impossible people you could be without thinking yourself insane of personality problems, with a mop on a drop ship or trying to stab a goblin. That don’t play in public life. You get arrested, psychoactive medication daily in your big intestine and attesting that the voices in your head said the dwarf shot first, embedded arrow then you bled. But doctors with needles posit repeatedly that you knocked down that midget in the park unneededly. This has seeded the idea that you should never venture from the house, never get misunderstood by the non-player characters inhabiting Earth, none of whom are too concerned about Nord & Bert, not one of whom ever aimed a fish around the room, trying to get it in the ear canal because doom beset the last planet they were on, or near the verge of a set of poetics they wouldn’t hear. Never peered at the clues with invisible ink. No SM goddesses ever gave them pause to think. Never piloted six robots, each distinct. Don’t matter how many 2-liters they drink, they’re not gonna follow what you’re saying at all. They impugn and appall in the scope of their gall, as you hide in your room in disgust with the lights turned out. Turn ‘em on in a turn. Leave ‘em off for now.
You
are
likeeeely
tooooo
be
eeeeeeeaten
You are likely to be eaten by a grue. If this predicament seems particularly cruel, consider whose fault it could be: not a torch or a match in your inventory.
You read a pamphlet from a mailbox that urges low cunning, offers cursor and prompt: type >run and you’re running, and parses what you tell it, pronouns intact, abbreviations if you need ‘em (better keep it gramat.). Better punctuate your sentences and never redact the name of anything ambiguous. You’re about to get asked, do you mean the red one, the round one, the crooked, or the blue? Better keep that in your pocket, don’t know yet what it could do. Could be the spray for the grue; you’re gonna need it if it is — a situation that reloads, restarts, or quits. Wonder how many points out of how many points you’ve got to get before you’re done. Endeavor then to rejoice, when you wish more ardently, identities shed, for continuance, the rhyme forever voyaging. Fled from all lights and colors, from all smells and sound: just the lyric on the monochrome display and you’re proud to make another verse appear by solving riddles. If you didn’t have to sleep, you know you’d never seek acquittal. You’d be ever in the middle and the midst of quest. If it weren’t for >don the gown. you’d never get dressed. In your underwear typing, just like Front, keyboard attached up to my fingers — wrists bear the brunt — as I seek to do stunts simply through their descriptions. I think I went once to some sands that were Egyptian. And I retain plane tickets, snapshots, receipts, yet I stand unconvinced that this has happened to me. I wouldn’t want to misremember or get confused. Recall of crawling towards a pyramid appearing over dunes. Recall of entering the thing and descending stairs. Does it descend from there, adventure to nightmare? Did I battle a snake? Was the treasure intact? Or did the TRS-80 in my brain get hacked? Thanks, Grampa, for buying it. Now my life’s ruined. Twenty-two years later, head’s infested: got the grue in. PLUGHing, XYZZYfying, trying to escape, but I can’t ‘cause I’m up and around and awake.
And being sick means that I have plenty of time to play games around the house whilst not doing anything else. I'd had the past few afternoons off, and, getting paid on Tuesday, decided to grab a new game to help me whittle away the hours until sleep comes and claims me. Having just finished my second playthrough of Mass Effect (more on Mass Effect in another blog some other time), and not quite ready to put Lost Odyssey back into the xbox, I decided to go the DS route. Now, I already have the completely incredible Final Fantasy IV DS, but I'm playing that at a deliberately slow pace, as I'm taking my time to soak up all the wonderfulness that is a 3d remake of my favorite game of all time. I've tried a few times to get into Final Fantasy III, but since I'm playing IV right now, why bother.
Then I remembered that I'd seen a review flash across my screen a few days ago for a game I'd been interested in for awhile, a certain Dragon Quest IV: Chapters of the Chosen. Having not played the Dragon Quest series between Dragon Warrior and Dragon Quest VIII, I decided to give it a shot. Here's just some initial impressions.
First off, I love the graphic style. While not as 'polished' as the Final Fantasy IV remake, it retains a certain 2d feel in a 3d world. Having the ability to move the camera around the towns is nice, and the ability to see more of the dungeon due to the duel screens is a pretty groovy touch. However, having the odd warping of one thing moving from the top screen to the bottem is very disorienting. I'm hoping I'll get used to the distance implied pretty soon. All the character models are nicely done so far, and the drawn faces are all very Dragon Questy. The enemies are the best part of what I've seen so far, as all have animated attacks that flow very well, and they all look very sharp in battle.
The controls are, well, Dragon Quest controls. It plays very much like a speeded up Nintendo game, as the party moves fast, but not too fast, and doesn't linger around, slowly meandering their way through a dungeon or town. The speed is slowed for the world map, but I have no problem with that, as I like to take in the digital representation of a world made for me to explore around and kill things. Not much else to do with the controls, I mean it is an old school rpg.
The battle screen is nicely set-up, with the characters on the top screen and the enemies on the bottom screen, and I think I prefer it to the way Final Fantasy has the top screen with the characters and enemies and stats on bottom. The action flows well, with the fight options popping up in large blocks on the bottom screen that can be seen easily. Another nice addition is that above your character it shows what each player is doing, i.e. X character is attacking, Y character using heal.
On to the story. I'm sorry, but so far the story is only an excuse to move to more powerful enemies for me. Then again, I'm only on chapter 2 and have a lot more of the game to play, and it looks like it's setting up to be pretty epic, but right now I'm just kinda meh'd about it. Don't fret though, I like what I can understand through the damn dialects, it's just nothing special yet. I do like the chapter set-up, it's a new take that I can't remember doing before, and if it sets up like that in the end, then that would be pretty special.
This game is not for everyone, however, and I'll repeat that in large letters, THIS GAME IS NOT FOR EVERYONE. This is a grindfest, and if you're not into that, you'll hate this game. Me personally, I love killing countless random creatures for their experience and gold, getting super-powerful weapons and armor, and raping dungeons and bosses. If this isn't your thing then you'll get bored of this game very quickly, as the enemies two steps that-a-way are much more powerful than you, and this game will let you know it. For old-school rpg lovers though, this is a fantastic game so far, and I highly recommend it as a buy. read more
We all know that the cblogs have been oversaturated with reviews for this game, be them good, bad, or indifferent, but we haven't seen my review. Besides, this is the first game I've actually finished in probably six months or so, and I just want to get my impressions/feelings down on it. So, without further ado, my review of Star Wars: The Force Unleashed. And I'll try to keep spoilers to a minimum, and I'd appreciate it if you would too in the comments.
First off, I'd like to go over some of the positives of this game. The story is phenomenal. Top notch, second to only the original movies, this game is what the prequels should have been. The nameless apprentice, Proxy, and Juno Eclipse, your faithful pilot, make up the meat and potatoes of this tale. The apprentice is the baby faced protagonist of the story, as we all know, and comes off as boyish but not too antagonizing, as most of Lucas's main characters come off as now, and for what he's given makes the most of his time on screen during cut-scenes. Juno makes up the female interest and does a good job not being 'that girl', even though she does nag at times. And Proxy is now my favorite droid in the series (movie canon at least), as his whole mission is to kill you one day.
Along with the story, TFU has some of the best motion capture I've seen in a game. From the facial expressions to the slight movements, this game bleeds subtlety, at least in the cutscenes. The voice acting too is very high quality and, along with the score, makes this feel like a game/movie hybrid in the highest sense of the words. The in-game graphics are also top-notch, and besides from the occasional flicker I had no problems with them, or disconcerting platforms or backgrounds. Everything looks fantastic, from the dark, sci-fi space platforms, to the lush jungle world, to the mass of twisted metal of the junk-heap planet, everything is fully engrossing, with only the slightest disappointment of a "walled-in" feeling. I always felt that there was enough room in the levels to keep me going, with only one or two exceptions. The camera in the game does a pretty good job of following where you want it too, but it does suffer occasionally, throwing itself around to where you can't see anything and are left a sitting duck at the most inopportune times.
The gameplay in-game is, well, hit or miss. While you do have tremendous force powers by the end of the game, I stuck with only two or three through the game with only minimum usage of the other powers. Some, like the lightsaber throw, while pretty awesome to look at and use in single combat, put you at a huge disadvantage due to the fact that if you miss you're left without an opportunity to attack or defend while you wait for your saber to return. The controls in battle work pretty well, and you'll find most of the enjoyment in this game throwing stormtroopers around as if they're nothing, but the developers tried to pigeonhole platforming elements in it as well, and they don't work so terribly well. The reason for that, I believe, is that the jumping mechanic in TFU requires precise timing, and between the camera not adjusting correctly and the fact that you jump 'so far' and that's it, make lining up and judging distances a pain. For the force controls, after about the first hour, I'd gotten it down pretty much pat with only minimal confusion after new abilities were added afterwards.
Now the targeting system is another story. While I didn't experience too terribly much of the off-putting "aim at one thing pick up another", it was there. And it was usually there when it really didn't need it to be. Not a gamebreaker, but it was aggravating enough to be noticeably annoying. Not only because it always happened when surrounded by baddies, but usually when surrounded by baddies and you're trying to move something related to advancing in the level, or move something so you can throw it at the damn sharpshooters that you can't reach otherwise. And it always picks up the smallest, most non-threatening piece of junk in the level first, as opposed to targeting the large, laser firing enemy in front of it.
The only major, major gripe I have with The Force Unleashed is the boss fights. Now, I've been playing video games for a long time, and these are some of the cheapest fights I've ever played through. From moving completely out of harms way for extended periods of time, to throwing waves of canon fodder at you, the name of the game here is to keep you at the lowest point of health possible while they can block anything you throw at them. Not to mention that I felt one of the game's mechanics is completely broken in one of the games later fights. I've read that this is only affecting about three in five people though, so maybe I was just doing it wrong. Regardless, it aggravated the hell out of me, making me set the game down for the rest of the night. As for the QTA's ending the boss fights, I thought they were very well done for what they were, and really added a sense of Jedi finality to the fights, as you can't do ingame what they do there.
Between the good and the bad, The Force Unleashed struck a very happy medium with me. It's only 7-10 hours long, but it's a definite time-sink for those hours, and repeated playthroughs unlock more costumes and lightsaber options. While I can't recommend it at full sticker price, I do highly recommend it as a rental, or waiting for it to go down in price to about $30. read more
My attempt to find fetus pictures in party hats goes terribly wrong
For some reason, Aborto had a birthday earlier this week and neglected to mention it to anybody. Had he had a facebook/myspace/reminder thing going on, I'd have done this sooner. However, I have a horrible attention span, and my short-term memory is gone.
So in honor of our resident fetus, and his love for all things wet and sticky, here's some pictures.
ATTENTION ALL DTOIDERS!!! We must rise up together to save our beloved robot master. A new (well, relatively new) company has decided that enough is enough, and has started to produce weapons, monitoring devices, and anti-robot viruses. All in the name of "protecting" humanity against the eventual uprising of AI systems that we all know is coming one day, thanks to fiction and retarded scientists that think it's a good idea to give robots guns and brains. The company name?
The company is located in the UK, so you Brits get the first line of robot killing protection. The company was founded by a dotcom millionare, a Mr. Ben Way. As reported in the telegraph, Mr. Way sees money to be made from "protecting us from the threats of a Robotic(sic) future".
From the article:
"Apparently, Way likes robots but doesn't want them to take over our lives.
He thinks it is "critical that we begin talking now about the long-term ethical implications the robot revolution will surely bring".
He continues: "The use of robotics in the military is on the up and, although the decision to take human life is currently still taken by another human, before long such decisions will be made up complex mathematical and logical rules programmed within a robot."
"Potentially the consequences of a computer crashing could be devastating. Hence, robotic defence is not just necessary for tackling combatants, but potentially for making sure we have control over our own weaponry."
And apparently, he's on to something. Professor of Artificial Intelligence Noel Sharkey from Sheffield University agrees with what Mr. Way is doing, and even goes on to say:
"This is the first real response that I have seen to the predicted rise in the use of autonomous military robots and it testifies to the dangerous slippery slope that we seem to be inevitably sliding down."
"Ben Way has certainly picked up on the magnitude of the impending threat or autonomous robot weapons to humanitarian war but it seems even more worrying that such steps are having to be taken."
"The Weapons Against Robots proposal for anti-robot products [sic] and sends out warning signals about the pending anti-humanitarian threat of the proliferation of autonomous lethal military robots. I really hope that it does not come down to the use of these devices."
Now, as intimidating as huge forces of robots attacking the populace and decimating the human race, what will happen to our robot? Will he become a fugitive from the long arm of the anti-robot attack force? Will we be made to hide him in our houses like a digital Anne Frank? Only time and fortunetellers know right now, but I hope not. Unless he wants to come hang out at my house, in which I'm totally cool with that.
Ah yes ladies, gentlemen, and trolls of destructoid, welcome to another lively rendition of Randomtoid. Got a couple of things I'd like to write about today, so I hope you got your attention span hats on, as I know my ADHD will kick in about half-way through. So, grab your pants in the crotch section and enjoy.
Greatest. Game. Ever.
First off, I'd like to discuss Rock Band 2. For the first few hours I played it, I was kinda disappointed. Yeah, there were new songs, yeah, some of them were good, but overall I thought that I'd just purchased a $60 expansion pack, which, if that's all it amounted too, would have totally been fine with me. But after experiencing the ease in which to move about and add players, not to mention the lack of the "tier system," I'm thoroughly enjoying myself with it. And the further I've moved on in it, the better the songs have become, the more I want to play. And the contest/challenges that pop up in the different cities that rank you against the world are freaking sweet. I was hooked on Rock Band, but with RB2, I think I've found my crack. I've seriously been playing for 3+ hours a day since I got it. <3<3<3
Also, I've become dangerously addicted to DLC songs. Just last night I bought the Megadeth album, the Live pack, the Who greatest hits pack, and the Grateful Dead pack. From the few songs I found that I played, they were all good decisions. Really need to practice on the Megadeth though, because they just kinda throw notes at you like a Guitar Hero 3 done right pain remix. Either that or I need to not drink beer while playing. Which is probably the answer.
So I finally bit the bullet and upgrayedded my HDD. The two d's are for a double dose of Jesus that's expensive. Lady at Gamestop tried to sell me a refurbished one for $100, no transfer cable or anything, then tried to sell me the new one for the old price. She seemed genuinely surprised when it turned out that yes, it dropped $30 from the last time she looked. I also got one of the sexy wireless headsets too. Then, after ringing me up, she asks, "Will that be all?", followed by looking at the screen and saying, "Oh...well I guess that you are already spending alot...nevermind." It was nice. No pre-orders or any of that jazz, but then again I go to that store pretty often to see if they have any good discounted old games. And I traded in the old 20 gig HDD for a copy of Earth Defense Force 2017 and 31 cents. Not a great deal, but at least I didn't have to buy anything.
Yep, slow day is slow
I think I've finally turned my roommate off of WoW, which is awesome. For the last two years he's been trying and trying, horribly unsuccessfully btw, to get me to play WoW. I'm just really not interested in playing any game that takes me 900 hours to level up. Except console RPG's, I don't mind those so much. Maybe it's because I can do them by myself, and don't have to make "friends" online to be able to attempt a three hour slugfest where I spam support magic while other people spam attack magic/regular attacks/sleep just to be able to get the chance to say, "Hey! I wasted my life on this just to get this one piece of armor! Yeah me!" Anyway, he called me last night to let me know that he's probably not going to get the expansion because he's really starting to get into the console experience. Hell, he got Castle Crashers and The Force Unleashed in the last week and he's playing the crap out of them. Hurray for conversions.
Apparently NARP stands for something else too
Alright, last and semi-least, I'm gonna throw this out here. I'm thinking about throwing a Dallas NARP sometime a few months out from here. Just want to see if anyone is interested. I finally have a big enough place to where I could get have some people out and not feel too crowded, and have enough space to where people could crash and not feel like sardines or the army. So if anyone's interested just leave a comment or pm me.
Thanks for reading, have a pleasant day. read more
What's the worst part of having a huge open world, or conversely, a huge 2d world to explore and find new things? How do you add hours of play to a game that might be lacking in other areas? What are the two words guaranteed to wipe that smile off your face when you realize you're up against it?
Back-tracking.
So why has this outdated mechanic hung around and even thrived in the last twenty years of gaming history? If it's so hated, why do we put up with it anymore?
The first game, well, the first game that I remember that forced you to backtrack down it's paths was the first Metroid game. It's a brilliant example of what's right and wrong with the mechanic however. First, it adds play time to what, if you know where everything is after multiple playthroughs, amounts to a pretty short game. But that's what's so great about it, the fact that it takes multiple playthroughs to figure out where everything is and the best way to reach them in a certain order to achieve maximum power with minimal playthrough time.
Noooooooooooooooooo!!!!! Don't take mah weapons!!
Starting out weak and gradually gaining enough power to defeat enemies later on in the game is also a staple of backtracking games also. In Metroid, and later, the Castlevania series, this amounts to you starting out with an epic amount of powerful weapons and armor in the very beginning of the game, being stripped of said weapons and armor, and gradually gaining them back. So, the enemies in the beginning levels of the game are weak, enemies in later sections more difficult. So, how do you stop a weak player from getting into a more difficult section without putting up invisible walls or sectioning a game off into levels? It's simple. Instead of putting up an invisible wall, you put up a wall that can only be opened by a certain item or weapon, and put the item or weapon on the other side of the castle/ship/whatever. Here's where the hatred starts.
So, traversing the level the way the game designer wants you to you end up on another side of the level, probably much more powerful than you were before. You remember that said ice beam/magic spell/transformation will get you through where you were stuck before. However, that area is clear across the map, which is now filled with filler enemies. So to get back to where you need to be, you're now accosted by hordes of enemies too weak to tie your shoes/moon boots, but not too weak to accidently knock you into pits, spikes, water, or other general nastiness, not to mention if enough of the little buggers get together, they can still probably kill you.
I don't WANT to go back there!
Not only that, but by the end of the game, by the time you've aquired all the items and weapons you need, you still have to track down and find the boss in middle/bottom of wherever you are, which is usually convienently located in a flashing box much further away from you then you wish. So you have to go back through whatever dungeon you're fighting through, much to the pleasure of whatever weaker creatures are there, who have no thought except to weaken you for that final battle between good and evil.
Seriously though, as annoying as it is to find that your princess is in another castle, an even worse feeling is that your princess is back on the other side of the game where you started, you just didn't find that block hidden underneath that wall that needs to be destroyed with that gun. As great as the Metroidvania style of gameplay is, it's still a real pain in the ass to realize that you're on the wrong side of the game to continue. read more
What can you add to any game to help make it seem more friendly and young? What can you add to an RPG to help make it seem more "kid friendly?" What can you add to RUIN MY GAMEPLAY EXPERIENCE?
Kids.
I loathe kids being put into main roles in video games. In my opinion it's only been done correctly once, and that comes because of the heroic deaths of the children. Every other game I've ever played where they've stuck a kid in there does it wrong. They have to have a lisp, or a whiny, high pitch voice, or just be incredibly retarded. Please note that minor spoilers for certain games will follow.
First, let me start off with the game that did it right, then I'll follow up with some examples of "doing it wrong." Final Fantasy IV(yes, I know it's been in most of my monthly musing writings, but I love it so :P) did it right. Palom and Porom, while not the best characters in the game still had a strong feel of young, but not too young, annoying, but not annoying in a strangle-ey kinda way. Hell, some of their lines were downright funny, and they had an incredible sense of nobility at the end of their storyline. They were wise beyond their years. They never seemed to get in the way, or do something just because they were kids. They didn't suck in other words.
They were the last. Right now I can only recall the last two games I've played where a "child" was put into it, but I think they'll make great examples.
The first example of doing it wrong is actually an off pick, due to the fact that all the characters are children. Blue Dragon picks up with the story of three children who end up fighting against an evil force that attacks their village every ten years. These three, they're not so bad. They're just you're basic run-of-the-mill stereotypes, and they'd work as children or teenagers. Then you run into MaruMaro.
MUST YELL EVERYTHING IT'S FUNNY RIGHT!?!?!?
MaruMaro, I hate you. I don't understand why every other creature that looks like him can talk in a nice, normal voice and he has to yell. Constantly. At everything. Even if it doesn't make contextual sense, he yells it. What's worse is that he eventually ends up making everyone else come down to his level of annoying that it starts to make me hate them too for pandering for him. It just really burns me up because I really want to like Blue Dragon, and MaruMaro really wants me to hate it.
The next kids that I hate, well, hate is a strong word, so let's say highly despise of, are Cooke and Mack of Lost Odyssey fame. Even though they're introduction into the party comes after one of the greatest moments in gaming cinematic history, they fall into mediocrity so quickly it's not funny. Now, I'm not slamming their fighting/magic prowess, just their part in the story. They take the same story mechanic and just beat it to death over the next ten hours. And it's a pretty messed up storyline, as it's Mack's inability to grasp that his mother just died, and he has to keep going to these incredibly dangerous places to talk to her. Why would no one sit him down after the first time, even if there was a miracle, and tell him that that's pretty much it. But no, they let him run off two or three more times (I can't remember at the moment) and he still thinks that it's a very good possibility that he'll see his dead mother over and over again.
Our mom's dead, so let's pretend she's not, right?
So Mack's "mental" problems aside, they also felt that speech impediments would be a good fit on these kids too, making Mack a shy, stuttering douche, and Cooke a lisping fit. At least Palom and Porum, who I assume these were modeled after, came prior to the voice-over revolution, so I didn't have to hear their whiny, petulant voices. And let's not forget that they try to be so cute all the time it just makes my head explode. Maturity and thoughtfullness be damned.
I don't know why I hate so forcefully kids being stuck into main roles of games. At least in Lost Odyssey they are strong forces of healing/spirit magic, and you can take them out of your party, but having to suffer through cut-scene after painful cut-scene due to the whims of a creater who thought it would be "cute" to stick in some kinda child relief just makes me hate. If every game creator was stuck listening to the inane dribble that some of their characters spouted for the rest of their lives, I think there'd be much less of the monstrosity that is child characters. read more
bleh, man
Age:26
Lives in: Dallas, Tx
Occupation: Mayor of Metro City
Member of: Official Destructoid Beard Club Consoles: 360, wii, ds, snes, ps2
Hobbies: Games, reading, guitar, drinking
Because The GHost is teh awesome, my dtoid playing card:
For Wiisucks:
Hi! My name is Jack Klassen.! I'm a completely ordinary teenage boy from San Diego, California. My interests include soccer, surfing, writing poetry, and luge. I am homeschooled by my father who fought in the Korean War and was exposed to nerve gas. He is kind of crazy but I still love him. We got the Internet two years ago and I started making new friends on Yahoo! messenger. Surprisingly, most of these new friends were older men who wanted to have illegal, underage sex with me. Needless to say, I got a boner like a rocketship and cybersex quickly became my favorite thing in the entire world. Wait, did I say boner like a rocketship? I meant my vagina got as wet as Lake Titicaca. I started saving all of the hot chat sessions I was having with the Pakistanis, lesbians, child molesters and other monsters who were instant messaging me all day and all night, and I decided to put them up here on this website so you can see exactly how disgusting the entire human race is. Since then, I have been in a waterskiing accident that mangled my genitals beyond repair, been diagnosed with cerebral palsy, brain cancer, and Crohn's disease, learned to speak Urdu and French, covered my naked body in superglue, went to French lesbian camp, made a Hindu eat a roast beef sandwich out of my vagina, and ruined perfectly good cybersex for at least one hundred people. Use the menu above to find out more about me and start reading my sexy adventures,
The reason I love the forums: Oni's response to an illiterate ass.
Jesus fucking Christ! I mean, good Lord, I've seen the rape of my native language online before, but holy fuck, that post takes the cake.
Fuck having English as your first language, have you even been to school in your life?! I know lots of people who don't speak English as a first language who can type better than your sorry ass could ever hope to. You make the retards on MySpace look like motherfucking Shakespeare by comparison.
And no the argument of 'This is the interwebtubenets and I can type all shitty 'cause I don't give a fuck' is universally unacceptable. If you want people to answer your questions or even give a damn about your posts, you could at the very least attempt to use proper spelling and grammar. Use a God-damned dictionary or thesaurus. Most browsers now actually have those features built-in, for fuck's sake! Y'know when the words are underlined in red? Yeah, that means that they are wrong and should be corrected. You can right-click on that word and get the correct spelling.
And unlike the fellow above me, yes, I do mean to be a dick. I mean to be a complete and total dick, and I'll tell you why. There are actually several reasons. The best reason being, this post will actually embarrass you into trying to assemble your thoughts rationally and at the very least attempt to use some proper grammar. The second reason is that you will take dire offense to this post and move somewhere more your speed, but surely not before calling us fags and losers who never get laid or something like that. We find that stuff immensely funny. The third reason is that maybe you'll get in a flame war with us over this issue before moving on, thus ensuring several new memes for the Destructoid Forums that will last a couple of weeks and give us something to grin about on the inside.
