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Hello Destructoid. I play a decent amount of video games and spend just as much time (if not more) reading and writing about them. Why? Thats a good question. I'll have to get back to you on that one. In the meantime, i'd like to play some games and read and write about them.

I've been doing a small amount of blogging in the recent months and I recently decided that if i'm going to be doing that, I might as well do it here where someone might actually read it. Who am I kidding? Noone will actually read it.

I don't really enjoy writing, I do however get an amazing satisfaction from spell check. I'm old school. I remember the day I got my NES like it was yesterday, 1985. Well, actually I remember the year better than the day. Give me a break I was only 5. Do you remember when you were 5? Ok then.

Moving on. My next console was the Sega Genesis. Some of my best memories of that era revolve around the "beef" between the Genesis owners and the Super Nintedno owners. This wasn't some bullshit make believe beef like the "East Coast/ West Coast" beef was. This was real beef. You know, the type were "ya mom's ain't safe to walk the streets". I still have the "SEGA" tattoo across the belly to prove it.

Next was the Sega Saturn. (i did have the 32x and the Sega CD but those are hardly worth talking about as far as I'm concerned.) The Saturn was cool. I remember being rather impressed by the graphics and falling in love with Tomb Raider. Not because of the girl like some of you perverts but because it was just amazing. Somewhere around this time frame I was feeling a little bit of envy towards the Nintendo 64 guys. I don't know why I got off the Nintendo side of things, it wasn't intentional. I stepped into the Sega universe with nothing but the fondest memories of my Nintendo days. But alas, what can one do when receiving such things as gifts. Either way, I was quite happy with my Sega Saturn. That was until a new friend introduced me to his Playstation. (Although that might have sounded gay, by no means was it meant to.) He showed me how much better Tomb Raider looked, and how much better Tekken was compared to anything I had on the Saturn at the time.

This is where it all changed. I was sold. I needed a PlayStation. Even if it meant doing the unthinkable. Getting rid of the Sega Saturn.

And so it was done.

Moving into the the next generation, my recollections aren't quite as clear. I remember having a PS2 and I remember buying my Dreamcast. I don't know which came first but I know the guy who lived upstairs from me could burn those Dreamcast games onto cd's and they would play like a dream. I know he would give me 5 games for 5 dollars, and I know he seemed to have them all.

Could the PS2 do that? I suppose I could use Google and find an answer to that, but I'm trying to prove a point. What is the point? The point is SEGA KICKED ASS and they were steamrolled by SONY! That actually doesn't prove that point in any way, but you know what I mean.

Many years pass

Despite having my beloved Sega Dreamcast tucked away safely in a bed of pirated discs in my closet I purchased my 2nd PS2. This may have had something to do with the fact the DC had long been discontinued by this point.

Perhaps an XBOX would have been a good choice at this point? I was hardly aware of what was REALLY going on in the video game world by this time. I was on the outside looking in. Clueless. Much like I am today. The only difference is, I now have an XBOX 360.

It's definitely had a huge negative impact on my life. My wife moved out. My kids never answer the phone when I call and I cant seem to keep a job for more than a few weeks.

Just Kidding. I'm actually a pretty cool guy and I'm just working on finding the perfect balance of time between playing COD4 and bangin' super hot models.

Cerealy.
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I would like to thank The Ninja Gaiden College Campus Tour for being the reason we have no Ninja Gaiden 2 demo on the Marketplace.

It is a good marketing move to generate some hype and get those kids excited to come check out the game but it sucks for those of us who are not in college.

It is quite obvious that they are allowing the college people to play the very demo we should all have access to. The thing is, if the demo were available nobody would go to their little tours when they showed up. Why should they when they could play it in the comfort of their own rooms?

So, although I give them credit for being creative and trying to generate excitement, I resent them for doing so in a way that excludes me. Its not like I cant live without a demo, but considering it is done and playable it would be nice to be able to play it.

Mark my words. The demo will pop up as soon as that tour is done.

Thanks college kids. First you get the cool college parties. You get the hot young crazy drunk college girls gone wild like orgies, and now this!!

*cries*











I came across this picture today and it intrigued me a bit more than it would someone who hasn't visited the world of Rapture.

According to my calculations, the big daddy should be there, in 3... 2...








So last night I decided I wanted to play some r6v2 MP. All I wanted to do was play some deathmatch. Every man for himself. It seemed like a good plan. I haven’t played much MP on the game because it seems like a big pain in the ass. I guess I had forgotten how much of a pain it was, until last night. I want to say that I have NEVER had such a hard time getting into a match, and that no matchmaking has ever pissed me off like this. It is flat out horrible.

The point of this is basically a big FUCK YOU to the makers of this game. How do you copy COD4 in so many ways yet fuck up the matchmaking so bad?? I understand that you didn’t change much from the first game, I can live with that. But you couldn’t update the matchmaking?? Why can I simply pick a match in COD4 then press A and be playing within seconds, but in this game its like a chore from hell to play the match I want.

Let’s start with selecting the match. You put in your choices then your list of options should appear. First thing you will notice is a poor connection in every available match. 2 orange circles perhaps, maybe a red circle. Very rarely will you see the friendly green circles you desire. Once you have found a match that looks ok it should be simple right? No. By the time you enter the room several things may happen.

1. The match has already started, leaving you to spectate on the sidelines. (for the WHOLE time)

2. By the time you get there, the game type has changed. I could have sworn I picked deathmatch, why is this a lobby for total conquest??

3. You get there and you have to wait for some cock sucking douchebag to start the match. Which he never does. If you were in one of those rooms with me last night you may have heard me cursing the scum bag who decided to host a room then walk away from his tv while we all sat there waiting. (seriously) (twice)

4. After you’ve selected your custom match, and go into the lobby, and leave because its fucked up, it will take you back to the matchmaking screen and do an automatic search. Sounds convenient right? Wrong. Because it searches for any kind of match and not the one you just specified moments earlier. Give me a friggin break!

Not to mention, there seems to be a lag problem that I have not experienced since playing The Darkness MP (once) Seriously, Lag?? I just dumped a clip full of bullets into this guys skull only to see him disappear then reappear behind me, killing me with a shotgun blast. Fun.

I played one match, then spent at least 30 minutes trying to get into another match. I must have entered 15 different lobbies only to be greeted by disappointment and frustration. Eventually I couldn’t take it any more and had to take the game out before I smashed my controller through the TV screen.

Where to turn? Good old COD4. Thank you for being there for me old friend.

To the lazy scumbag fuck ups who half assed the matchmaking in a game where MP is one of the best aspects, you should all be fired and replaced by the guys who made yaris.








I have reason to believe this is real, although it is very likely not. But it looks real nonetheless.

Personally I dont have a Wii or any reason to play this (I am very familiar withthe art of gettting your piss stream into the bowl)

but all of the female gamers out there with cock envy might want to check this out.









I know these are free, and nobody is required to offer a demo but sheesh. It has been at least a couple of weeks since a new demo has been offered up. It would be one thing if no new games were coming out, but there has been several releases as of late in which no demo was available.

Free demo's are awesome. Few things get me as excited as seeing a demo for a game ive been anticiapting showing up on the marketplace before the game is available.

Things like that are part of the reason I pay my live service fee each month with joy and spend a decent amount of time on the dashboard. I cant even count how many games I have purchased based on the experience I had with the demo.

Chances are, if I like the demo, I will buy the game. This leads me to believe companies fear the opposite reaction when they dont offer up a demo before the game is released.

Certain games obviously dont need a demo since we are going to buy them regardless. But others could definitely benefit from one. (The Club, Burnout Paradise to name a couple of games I wasnt so sure about until the demos got me hooked.)

My issue isnt so much about there not being very many demos lately, it is more about the people behind the games not doing everything they can to get us one before the game comes out.

Stop being pussies guys. Dont be affraid that if we actually get a chance to play your game it will turn us off so bad that we will want nothing to do with it. (Im looking at you Turning Point).

At the end of the day, if your demo sucks it might be a good way to find out how people really feel about it and potentially fix the problems before the game comes out.








So I got up a little early today so I could check out this beta. Im wondering if the extra 20 minutes of sleep would have been a better bet. I will say I didn’t get enough time to make a fair assessment of the game, and I will say I would rather still be playing it then be here at work. My main interest this morning was to check out the “destructible environments” I have seen demo’d in a few videos. In short, they sucked. In the video it looked like it was different than other games and what and where you shot would make a difference. It seems that the building damage is the same as I’ve seen in a zillion other games. I did shoot a few branches off of a few trees, which was exhilarating. Ok, so amazing destruction? Not so much. In the games defense, there was an awful lot going on around me that prevented me from exploring the way I would have liked.

The graphics were pretty impressive I guess, for those of you who are into that sort of thing. There was a lot of stuff going on, and honestly I was a bit confused. I killed a few of my teammates and managed to hop into a tank, which was pretty cool. I then shot a few rounds at a few more teammates. I don’t condone killing a teammate and would never do it intentionally, but I didn’t know what the heck was going on. Apparently the one mode they have going is an attack and defend type of thing where one team has to protect containers of gold, while the other team has to destroy them. As interesting as that may be, I really wish there was a deathmatch/team deathmatch option.

I did hop into some water and swim around the corner into the enemy territory, that was kind of cool. Before I got blasted. It did seem like some fun could be had, under the right circumstances. (rushing to work not being one of them)

It is fast paced and frantic, that’s for sure. I’m kind of enjoying the slower more tactical pace of R6V2 but might hop back on a little later to give it another more serious run through, if anyone else has it, hit me up.