Because I am a cultured woman of the world and possess many leather-bound books, I am currently attempting to learn the fanciest of languages, French! I can’t say that I’m any good at it really, despite hours of practice and learning all the best swear words. I even got Rosetta Stone, and for anyone who’s ever seen a SkyMall catalog, you know THAT’S a BIG DEAL.
So yeah, I mean, I’m learning and stuff. But frankly it’s getting boring. My Rosetta Stone software is the best around, sure, but it’s a bit repetitive. I suppose it has to be—how else am I supposed to learn this fancy shit?—but when you have lesson after lesson full of the same old thing, it gets to be kinda boring, y’know?
Not pictured: Kids not running.
So I got the best idea ever: I love games and I’m trying to learn French, so why not find some FRENCH GAMES ONLINE?! Man, high-five self, good one! Let’s see what a Google search has got for me!
The first site that came up was this thing. OK, not that exciting-looking, but it’s got games, right? Games are fun!
I decided to try the word find. I think that really the words “word find” are all you need to know to understand how THAT went. I mean, look at this fucking shit:
OSTI DE CALIS YA RIEN QUI MARCHE TABARNAK WHY IS CHAUSSURE STILL IN THE LIST, I FOUND THAT MERDE ALREADY!!!!!!
Doing this word find is like playing Blue Screen of Death: The Game. (Actually, has anyone made a Blue Screen of Death game? I might pay cash money to play that.) Not to mention it kept having bugs that wouldn’t accept the words I’d find which was HELLA FRUSTRATING, though at least it gave me the opportunity to try out all the swear words I’ve recently learned.
I decided to move on to greener pastures and found a BBC site that looked fun. Oh, except for all the games were aimed at 8-year-olds. That made me feel worldly, let me tell you. I clicked around a bit and I can safely say that the games they offer are truly bizarre; I mean, I played one with a dog in space (??). Really, who sends a dog into space and then won’t let him come back to the shuttle unless he answers questions in French correctly?!
Needless to say I got bored, which is really sad, because that means that I have less of an attention span than an 8-year-old child.
For the last game I decided to try I just let Google surprise me. Aaaand...
So, back to Rosetta Stone for me. I mean putin de merde, how difficult is it to make a fun educational game online?! Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?! Next time I'll try that DS French game...surely that can't be so bad, right? Right?! If anyone's had an experience with it, let me know, because I don't really think I can handle any more shitty learning games. It would make me cry like this (including autotune):
If you really feel like punishing yourself, you can play the word find here (WARNING: Only attempt if you want your eyeballs to bleed out of your face), the BBC stuff here, or the "Kiddies Games" (which I haven't tried for obvious reasons) here.