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I arrived on Earth when Zeus let me ride a thunder bolt he hurled from Mt. Olympus in 1983. Upon landing, I tossed the thunder bolt back to Olympus with a note reading, "I'm coming back some day to claim my throne, motherfucker." Then I got laid, picked up a NES controller and the rest is history. Awesome history.

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Game Boy(not even color)
DS - black (like my semen)

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This is me

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This is Vargas. Of course. Vargas does not drink...does not smoke...does not make love.

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If you want to get your vagina slapped around in some Brawl, here's my code:
0473 7435 0363

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Favorite games (in no particular order):

uno) Resident Evil 4 (GC)
dos) Super Smash Bros.
tres) Raiden II (arcade)
cuatro) Super Mario Bros. 3
cinco) Halo 1 multiplayer
seis) Super Metroid
siete) Megaman 2
ocho) Super Dodge Ball
nueve) Half-Life 2 (along with TF2)
diez) Tecmo Super Bowl
once) Flashback (SNES)
doce) Street Fighter II Turbo
trece) RBI Baseball (NES)
catorce) Ocarina of Time
quince) Soul Calibur
dieciseis) TMNT II Arcade
diecisiete) GTA: Vice City

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My willy is 4 miles long.
Following (4)  

10:22 PM on 08.24.2009

I treat her like a lady should be treated. I lay Dtoid down and whisper in her ear, "Relax, this will only take a minute", but it really takes two. Then I fart and we lol into the night.

Guess I'll do this. I've seen some bad ones, maybe mine won't be the worst.

1. I've been shot through the arm (bicep). It was a pellet gun, nicked the bone, but it went through my arm. Got a scar on both sides.

2. My toes (big toe and the next) have to be crossed for me to go to sleep.

3. I prefer Pepsi over Coke.

4. I was the 40-yard dash champion for 4 consecutive years in Elementary School. In 6th grade, my reign of victory was cut short by some white trash kid. I wasn't that mad, since I knew he was white trash and I wasn't.

5. That Tru Blood HBO series supposedly takes place where I'm from. If anyone knows what I'm talking about, the part where they go party in Monroe that looks like a Snoop Dogg video is entirely inaccurate. There would have been multiple murders in RL. And the gay black guy would have been stabbed.

6. I memorized the part in Blues Traveler - Hook where he breaks it down and can still recite it word for word to this day. That's right.

7. I've been to one pro-wrestling match in my life and Sting dropped down from the ceiling, then got hit in the head with a sledgehammer. I hate pro-wrestling, but that was funny/awesome.

8. I was a part of the filming of Beowulf. Except this Beowulf was for a high school class and involved me running from someone with a camera with my cardboard tube arm ripped off through the frozen section of Wal Mart. We found out later that it is illegal to run through a Wal Mart with a mask on. We managed to get the whole conversation with the cop on audio.

9. Nickname: Bear

10. I went skimboarding during Hurricane Katrina. Our power went out, so we did what any group college students would do when there is no power and lots of rain and an unused skimboard laying around. Used it.

Pretty much exactly what we were doing

*Bonus I just bought a PS3. Need some games. Got LBP.


What more can I say?

full-size version down there.

Title pretty much says it all. Just saw this deal on slickdeals.

I haven't played any lego games, but it seems like a pretty good deal.

I was photoshopping around the other day and made these wallpapers. Figured I would share. They are 1920x1200. If you like it, save it, use it, print it out and piss on it, whatever...

Which do you guys prefer? Criticism is encouraged.

EDIT: I don't mean to bump it up, if it does, but I added another without the lens effect.
Photo Photo Photo

While the above picture is indeed far back as I can recall, I have always hated flamethrowers in games. Even when the pyro updates came out for TF2, I had no interest in it. If anything, it would further fuel my hatred for the weapon much like the mechanics of the weapon itself. If you are reading this and remember another game with the weapon in it and say, "well, what about the flamethrower in _____, it was good", this is only about the ones i have played/remember. Whether it be a shitty weapon to use or an annoying one that gets used on me, it receives my disapproval.

not me

1. Contra
Triple flipping through the jungle with Bill or Lance brings about some of my fondest memories but any Contra fan knows the worst gun on there was the flamethrower. Some may argue that the laser was the worst, but at least the laser made a cool sound when fired. Nothing was worse than having the spread and accidentally picking up the flame (which we called it back in the day).
conclusion: crap

this is too sweet not to put in here

2. Army Men for N64
A few friends and I rented this for a few straight weekends in a row and, from what I can remember, the multi-player was pretty damn fun. The flamethrower was a murder machine. This may be the most pleasant experience I have ever had with this weapon in a game. Everyone knew where it was on the maps and a smart sniper would always know where to look for someone. The coolest thing about it was that your plastic ass would melt if you died via flame. It was still a bullshit weapon since it was an instant kill basically.
conslusion: bs, but could be worse

3. Metal Gear Solid 3
Fuck you, The Fury. You ass. I knew as soon as I saw that bastard, he was going to annoy the piss out of me and, indeed he did. "Yea, let's make the flames shoot down the entire 40-yard hallway in the form of flame arrows." It was a pretty sweet character, I'll admit. An astronaut with a flamethrower and a jetpack is a pretty rapetastic idea, if I do say so myself. He pissed me off, nonetheless. I used the sniper I got from The End, so I could get his camo when his stamina ran out, so that was a challenge in and of itself, but when I couldn't see whether I was still on the ground or on my feet because I was engulfed in flames, I wanted to jump out of my window.
conclusion: I repeat, fuck you The Fury

4. Team Fortress 2
In my opinion, the pyro in this game is good for one purpose: getting the WTFBBQ achievement (kill someone with the Hadouken taunt). Other than that, I don't care for the class. Most people just run around holding down the left mouse button like a retard that just escaped from the looney bin. It requires little skill and since I like playing as the spy, it's especially annoying for me when a pyro comes around a corner and randomly shoots a spurt from the gun and ignites my invisible/disguised body. Plus, the pyro is a pussy in the game. I have played a few times as the pyro, it's definitely the lowest played class. I always feel cheap when I'm playing, like I don't deserve any of those kills.
conslusion: rrrtsh rrrrrp (translation = it's crap)