And they needed it... They hurt on the inside...



It's all improv, and these guys really do a good job of staying in character with this. It's a little long, but piss off, this is brilliance.

Theater is a dying art; and as an actor, that's a hard pill to swallow. There are potentially a million reasons why theater is going extinct. Some people say it's because of television, or because people no longer want to see local talent as opposed to watching big names in multi-million dollar productions of "Alvin and the Chipmunks" or "Sex in the City". Some people claim that theatre just isn't what it used to be.



In my acting class at the beginning of the semester, my new instructor made a very interesting assertion; "Theater is a dying art and actors are no longer needed because people have video games to do what theater used to do." And I had to take a step back because I was at a loss for words. My professor had just said that my two greatest passions are entirely conflicting, and that video games are a reason why theater is dying. I sat through the rest of the class in a daze, I never really thought about it before, but they do. Video games do things that theater is meant to do, that it's supposed to do, and as technology advances, it's only going to get worse for us actors. But, then something else hit me. I couldn't be an actor without my experiences in video games.

And It all started when I actually let myself be completely immersed into a video game. And that game was Call of Duty 4.

For those of you who haven't played it yet, please stop reading, and go play it. Now. I don't want to spoil it.

I never had enough money to buy an Xbox 360 of my own, but my little brother received the console the month I moved out of my house. Kinda shitty, huh? Anyway, I would come home and play it every now and again, playing Halo 3 or Assassin's Creed, whatever game that was out that I thought would be mildly entertaining. It had to be enough to take my mind off of my shit grades I had that semester at my new school. One day though, my little brother felt sorry for me, and decided that I could take the 360 back to my apartment and play it for a week. And just my luck, Call of Duty 4 had released a few weeks earlier, and I thought "What the hell, right? It could be fun to kill a few hours with..." So I rented the game for a week from Movie Gallery and drove home eagerly awaiting a few mindless hours of playing through another mindless FPS.

I got home, loaded the disk, and expected to be mildly entertained, as I am with most FPS's. But something was different. Yeah, the opening scene was amazing, but that wasn't enough to pull me into it. And sure, in the beginning when my team mates died, I didn't feel anything. I didn't feel any loss, I just thought, "Well shit, more of the baddies are going to shoot at me now." But, by the time I had to rescue a downed helicopter pilot, I cared more. I don't know why, but I started to get scared for my life and the pilots. While I was running back for the rescue chopper with the pilot on my shoulder, I thought everything was going to be honky dory. So, I get in the chopper, thinking to myself, "I'm going to get a medal for that save," I toss a few frags at the enemies that tried rushing the chopper as it was lifting off and feel a smile slide across my face as I see them be blown back by the concussive force of the grenade. Time to get the hell 'outta dodge.

Then, I look off into the distance. I hear screaming over the comm's. The screen goes a blinding white, I feel it in my hands as my chopper is hit by a shock wave. My heart starts racing, and I don't know what to do. I see a fellow soldier be thrown from the chopper as we spin out of control, and everything is engulfed in flames before I lose consciousness and everything goes black.




And I wake up in a different world. I see the team mates that I had grown to value, dead. I see the pilot that I rescued, dead. I stumble to the ground outside of the chopper, looking to see if anyone had survived only to see dust and ashes. I can hear broken chatter on the communication link, and I think I've survived. My breathing starts to be in sync with the sounds of the soldier's breath. I can hear my heartbeat in the speakers of the television. Slowly, I turn around to see only what I knew what was going to be there, the horrific mushroom cloud, and I whispered to myself, "Oh my god..."




Suddenly, my sight starts to crane back, and everything goes white. It took me a few minuets to realize it, but when it did, I couldn't stop staring at the screen. I just died. And not just me, everyone I fought with shoulder to shoulder, died. It was then I realized that tears had started to fill under my eyes, and that my mouth was dry from being slack jawed for five minutes. I had just experienced death.

From that point on, I fell in love with falling head first into video games. I started to replay games that I hadn't touched for years to see what kind of emotions I could get from them. I felt terror as I took on the Los Ganados in Resident Evil 4. I felt like a hero when I finally conquered the Combine in Half Life 2. I felt compassion and sorrow for the deaths of the Colussi. And I felt love when I met the companion cube, and sorrow when I had to kill it. Well, maybe not the last one so much...



In my way of acting, I call on images, sounds, and feelings that trigger certain emotions. So, when I need to feel compassion, I could conjure up the images of Alyx or Eli Vance, depending on what kind of compassion I would want. When I need to feel evil, I could conjure up the images of Kefka or Sephiroth. What it boils down to is that video games allow me to expand my "library" of emotions, and without them I'd be just another expressionless actor on stage



Video games have allowed me to feel things I never could on my own, and for that, I have to thank the creators. Sure, video games and theater don't necessarily go hand in hand, but both give me a chance live and grow through the eyes of another human. And whether it be on stage or through the television, my two passions have allowed me to live and grow as my own human being.


Side Note: Check out the Gallery for my Halloween Costume. Yay for almost a month late!
Second Side Note: Neiro, why does the spacing f*ck up when you publish a story using Safari?

I was so inspired by Mr. Blake Peebles, that I've decided to take the plunge myself and show the world what I'm really made of! By playing one of the most festive games ever, Elf Bowling.

The almighty 300. That's what I'm aiming for every time I load in one of my 5 different copies of Elf Bowling for the DS (Back-ups just in case I break due to my awesome skills). My former dreams of trying to get into the game industry the hard way? Actually graduating with a degree and go in to work for a company? Only pussies do that.



Man, I'm tired of going to school for a degree, when my calling is obviously mowing over Santa's little helpers with a bowling ball. Man, already, I've dropped all of my classes, I've already started my daily regiment of breakfast at the crack of noon, consisting of a fruit roll up and a pepsi. Move right into 8 strenuous hours trying to strengthen and develop my throwing hand. dinner is a bowl of spaghetti O's, a bologna sandwich with MAY-O (Who actually spell's out mayonnaise? Pussies do, that's who.)



And then, another 8 hours working on my form. I end the night with rough regiment of jazzercising with Richard Simmons, my hero, and then masturbate to pictures of Ms. Clause listening to "Jingle Bell Rock". I don't have time for women, I'm just to busy, but I do want to introduce my favorite little friend!



This, boys, is the way to live. Now, I need to go because my mom wants me to go take out the garbage.

Pro-Elf Bowling League for Life!

Also, for those of you who think I'm an idiot without a back up plan, I have my shaq-fu skills to fall back on!

Also, Season's Greetings.

Do you remember those Choose Your Own Adventure books?

Because, I sure as hell do. They used to be such an incredible idea to me, even thinking about them now transports me back to 6th grade, to the time when I could read at an 8th grade equivalent and be damn proud of it too.

Goose-bumps? Pshaw.
Harry Potter? Pleeeease.
gamebooks, motha fucka!

If you're like me, then you'll find this weeks DS Homebrew game interesting, Lone Wolf DS.

The Lone Wolf Series is actually a collection of over 28 gamebooks, penned by Joe Dever that got it's start way back in the 1984. The Series ceased publication in 1998, but the dedicated fanbase created Project Aon in 1999 and converted many of the books to a format to be enjoyed on the interwebz. Since then, the series has been struggling to get back into the lime light, spanning from computer games, a table top RPG, a MMORPG, a FPS and even a movie! But, sadly, nothing's seen the light of a public release.

That's where the designer for LoneWolfDS comes in. This man (Who's name I can't find) was looking for a concept to develop code for the NDS Homebrew scene, when he stumbled upon Project Aon and the Lone Wolf Series. He developed an engine that would allow the players to be "really immersed in the story" and not have to worry about silly things like, you know, action.

The story revolves around you, a young monk of the Kai Lords. And, after an assault on your ancient fortress by an seemingly unstoppable evil, you must make your way across the land to warn your king, and that's where your adventure begins, but where it ends, is entirely up to you.



Holding the DS like a book (See Ninja Gaiden DS, or Hotel Dusk), you battle your way across the country of Sommerlund. And when I say battle in this instance, I mean clicking a button that says "fight!" and pray to god you roll a high number. I'm not going to lie, for the action junkies of today's youth, you may not appreciate or "get" Lone Wolf, but for people who can immerse themselves into stories without having two thumbsticks and at least one gun in your hand, you may appreciate Lone Wolf DS.


It's not extremely engaging. But if you dabble in table top games, this will be the best thing since homemade Chicken Noodles.



The whole experiance feels a lot like a table top game, compacted down, and tied up into a nice little package, even adding a mini-game or two into the mix to break up the monotony of making crucial decisions to get to the end of the story.



The best thing about this project is that it's a very well polished homebrew game, allowing you to become completely immersed into this world, despite the limited interaction with the surroundings. Not only that, but it presents us with a very compelling thought, "Can we create our own stories with this engine?"

The creator has stated that the engine will become available after he feels he's done with the lonewolfDS series, but two in and another on the way, it may be a while before we could create our own epic gamebooks

My overall opinion on it, I'd say it's definitely worth a try, especially since it's such a polished package. If you don't like reading, or dislike passive interaction with your video games, I'd say you might not enjoy it very much. But, I DID enjoy it, and I hope you download this little gem and start thinking of your own epic gamebooks to publish! I know I've already got a few ideas! Dtoid Gamebook, anyone?

Download Here

Previous ILMSDSHB:
Protein DScratch
Still Alive DS

Square unveiled a new website for their upcoming game, Kingdom Hearts 528/2 Days. Now, I can't read moon-speak but just hearing the music and thinking about the prospect of playing a new Kingdom Hearts on the DS is enough to make my pants damp.

When I first heard about it Kingdom Hearts, I HATED the idea of Final Fantasy-esque characters mingling with the likes of Disney. Because that's how fucking hard core I was. I thought that it was the worst idea to come out of the company (This was before I knew about Tom Sawyer). Against my blessing, my little brother picked up the game and after spending a few days with it, he talked it up to being the next best thing ever, ever. After several days of listening to my little brother rave about this... "thing"... I finally, I gave way, and fell head first into the game.

And I LOVED every. frickin'. minute. I even loved the Gummi Ship! YEAH, EVEN THE FRICKIN GUMMI SHIP WAS AWESOME!


Oh, I could spend hours with you...


Sadly, my PS2 died and I never got the chance to pick up and play Kingdom Hearts II (I did watch the last cut-scene on youtube). But, I did pick up Chain of Memories for the GBA and I have to say it's one of my favorite GBA games of all time. (Although, I did miss the trips in my Gummi Ship.)

Now, Square Enix has been very short on details about the game since they announced it was in development a year ago. Thanks to the website, we know the game is now in the hands of H.A.N.D., the team that developed Final Fantasy Fables: Chocobo Tales. The game will follow the story of Roxas and the mysterious Organization XIII.


iFlamboyant Hair styles? Check. > 1 Zipper per article of Clothing? Check. Must be a Sqeenix

One cool feature I've heard about is that the game will feature 4-player Coop multiplayer, following a story separate from the single player campaign. I'm not sure if this means it will make use of the DS's Wifi capabilities or remain local, but I'll keep my hopes up.

The game is set to come out in Japan in 2008, with no release window for the US or Europe, however, the devs have said they plan to release the game outside of Japan.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to my favorite new RPG, Final Fantasy IV which I'm sure I'll have something to say about later.

-Via [NWR]

[NOTE: The title is a typo. I mistyped "updates", and found the result clever, so I kept it.]

Now that Final Fantasy IV is out, I'm sure you will be putting your DS through a lot of use in the coming days/weeks. So, how about you bring a little piece of destructoid along with you? Introducing the Unofficial Destructoid Theme for you DS.




Download HERE

Walk through for installing themes on your R4:

1. Make sure you have the latest update for your R4(At least v1.18)
2. Install the kernel on to your DS.
3. Open up the folder named _system_ that should be in the root directory (The first menu that pops up)
4. Copy the folder "Theme 07" that you downloaded into Themes.

* In Themes, you will see 12 folders marked THEME01, THEME02, etc. The number corresponds to the month your DS calendar is set at. For instance, it's July now, so if you wanted to see the theme for July, you would select and open THEME07.

5. Boot up your DS.

If you did it right, you should see your brand new shiny Dtoid Theme!

Hope you enjoy it!