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Hola! Me llamo Brett. I have a dickbutt of a little brother.

About Me ______________________________
Has anyone really been far as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

Noteworthy Blogs:________________________
Front Page'd
10 Cosas

Projects: _____________________________
- The Unofficial Destructoid TCG: DEK - Update 1 - 2
- Officially Unofficial Dtoid DS Theme
- Dtoid Pins
- Video Channel
- Bahmbify

Things I like_____________________________
Isaac Asimov
Vadrum - Mario Drummer Guy!
God's Debris - Unbelievable read!
MEGARAN - Hip Hop/Megaman = Amazing!
LackeyCCG - Play CCG's online! DOWNLOAD NOW!

Stalk me: ________________________________
Facebook | @bahecksher
DtoidDEK Site | My Minicity
Skype: bretthecksher

Location ________________________________
Southwest Missouri

Currently Playing _________________________
Mother 3

Favorite Games of All Time________________
Mother 3
Fallout 3
Half-Life 2
Left 4 Dead
Banjo Kazooie
Resident Evil 4
Pokemon Silver
Metal Slug Series
Metal Gear Series
Pokemon Pinball
GTA: Chinatown Wars
Rhythm Tengoku Gold
Front Mission: Gun Hazard
Mechwarrior 4: Mercenaries
Legend of Zelda: Windwaker
Super Smash Brothers: Brawl
Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare
Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask
Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic

Following (42)  

It's been a long time since I checked in on you, and now... this... .

To me, this MxO is like the ex that you know you should hate, but you had so many good memories together, you could never not love. She was always being mistreated, always catching a lot of undue harassment from the popular crowd at school, but she stuck through. And while she may have been a crazy bitch at times, in the end, she's just the sweet girl you always knew, and will always love.

My Career in MxO started when I was a Junior in High school. I just got out of school for the summer, and had finally saved up enough money to buy a new video card to play the game. I remember jacking in for the first time without the video card, only to find that all the enemies were black and white, and any realizing that any blue pill seeing that would be lose their sh*t and die. So, after inserting the new graphics card, I was on my way. I remember when I was first contacted by Agent Grey, and when I choose to align myself with the machines. Now, As a machine, I fought for the humans that remained inside the simulation, and those selfish Zion terrorists were going to destroy Humanity. And I'd be damned if I let that happen.

From there, I remember running some of the same missions over and over for the machines, building my reputation and experience, and while at times it got tedious, the grind was always more fun when you had friends to help you out.

I remember I had joined Method, and at the time, I was a no body, but for some reason, a random guy started helping me out. A lot. Today, I can't remember his name, but he was the one that kept me in MxO, and he introduced me to a woman who would be at the center of a lot of things in the world of the Matrix Online Player Community. Through her, I was able to mingle with a lot of influential players, and eventually, garnered enough of a friendship with these individuals to level me up to the level cap. Level 50. And that's when the fun started. As a level 50, I could hold my own if a battle broke out against the Zion's, which was almost an everyday occurrence over the hardline and surrounding area named Mara Central. Mara C, in Beta, acted as a player gathering spot, and usually, the event's would occur there. I remember I jacked in once to find Morpheus speaking in metaphors about his crazy blahdy blah-The man was a lunatic.

I played as a sniper, and I laid down support anytime someone got into trouble, even figured out how to one shot people who didn't keep their guard up in a war zone. And I can't tell you the satisfaction experienced when you catch a cocky Zionist with his pants down. As a matter of fact, I remember sniping Ghost... Of course, I couldn't kill the guy, but the satisfaction that I hit a Dev was pretty awe-inspiring. Also, I've never experienced a fear and an exhilaration like when I would run from agents. These bastards would two shot you, easy, and even as a machine-aligned player, you still had to play by the rules, and some areas you just weren't allowed to go to. Those were the area's that were fun to play in. Super Jumping, to this day, still remains one of my most favorite experiences in any game, ever. The first jump, you never make, but in my case, I laughed all the way down.

I've played through the merging of the servers, the assassination of Morpheus, the assassination of the assassin. The subsequent rise of the E Pluribus Neo, the terror of Anome. I killed I don't know how many Exiles, and splattered Zionists brains all over the hardlines in almost every corner of the game. I was there when Neo's body surfaced in code. I was there when we fought back the Merovingian forces and the Zion's to take back 01(A construct). I've played the hell out of MxO, and I wouldn't trade those experiences for anything.

It's a shame that some of you Dtoider's never really got the chance to play this game. I know that those that did never really dug the game, but I can tell you, she was as sweet as candy when she wanted to be. She'll always be the one I loved first. So, to all those who played it, remember those good times and carry them with you as you continue you fight against whatever enemies you have.

To all those that didn't give her the time, you really did miss out.

Goodnight sweetie, and sweet dreams. I'll see you on the other side.

MalakAlhaq - Machine - Recursion

P.S. I may just jump in just so I can get my RSI pretzeled into oblivion, just one last time. If you Dtoider's care to join in the festivities, look me up.

So, here's the basic set up for D:E.K.
Players: 2-3 players
Deck size: 50 cards, no more no less.
Deck Limits: No more than 2 of any card.
Initial Draw: 5 card draw, No more than 7 cards in your hand at any time.

Objective of D:E.K.
As a player in the card game, you are a blogger on the website and you have to try and score points through posting blogs while stopping other players from scoring with your comments. Calling upon the aid of Editors, Trolls, and other community members alike, you could quickly rise above the common fray of the ordinary bloggers to become a Gent of the web, or you could fall victim to the world around you and become the worst troll ever to happen to the internet. It's your choice.

Turns are split up into, what else, phases:
Draw phase
Writing Phase
Post phase
Score phase

Play Area:
Each player has 5 "In-writing" zones with which he/she may fill with 1 blog per turn during his/her writing phase.

The Main action of the game will be played out on the "front page": an area all the bloggers share which has 5 slots for which bloggers to play their blogs in their posting phase. Players must place their blogs on the corresponding "in-writing zone" behind the front page slots they wish to publish (place) the blog in.

Gameplay Breakdown:
Gameplay revolves around scoring points, and you can only do that by publishing blogs on the front page and making sure they stay there, while cutting down other bloggers with comments that are trying to do the same. So, we'll go phase by phase, functions of the cards, and give some scenarios.
Draw Phase: Draw a card.
Writing Phase: Used to place ONE blog card face down on an "In-writing" zone behind the slot he/she wishes to publish his/her blog in on the front page.
Post Phase: Used to post comments on an opponents blog or own blog or used to publish blogs from the "in-writing" zone. Can publish multiple comments or blogs in one turn.
Score Phase: Used to accumulate points from blogs in which you published and control. (Meaning you have the last comment on the card or it's not contested.)

Functions of the cards:
Blog Cards: Used to score during the players "scoring phase". Point accumulation can be halted by opponents comments.
-Blogs have a writing period to wait in the "in writing" zone until they can be played based on their point value. (100-300 pt blogs - Wait 0 turns. 400-600 pt blogs - wait 1 turn. 700-900 pt blogs - wait 2. 1000-< - wait 3 turns).
-Each Blog is assigned a Karma, and depending on your overall Karma presence (Those blogs in your fail pile and active blogs on the front page) will you be able to play certain tier 2 and tier 3 AID cards.
-Blogs can trump one another on the front page, meaning a blog taking up slot 1 on the front page worth 100 pts can be trumped by a blog worth 400 points in which the 100 pt blog would be sent to the owners fail pile. Comments score are NOT added to the blog when being trumped, it's straight up blog v.s. blog when attempting to be trumped.

Comment Cards: Used primarily to halt opposing players from accumulating points, but can also set a standard of comments in any blog (Preferably the owners). There is no wait time on posting comments, and they range from FAIL comments to 1000 point comments. (They are meant to trump one another. 200 beats 100. 300 beats 200. So on and so forth. Fail trumps everything, however is trumped by everything as well. *Fail comments do NOT add to the score, because they are fail.*)
-During the scoring phase, the score of the comments is added to the score of the blog. (A 400 pt blog with a 300, 400, 600, 900, and a fail comment gets 400+300+400+600+900 pts, which = 2600 points if the last comment is the owner of the blogs comment. If it is the opponents comment is the last comment then at the end of the owners posting phase, the blog with the comments is moved to the owners fail pile. (blog and comments get sorted to the owners)
-In the result of a stalemate on a blog card, the card remains idle (Meaning it still takes up the slot, but it does not go into the owners fail pile) until one of the players can break the stalemate with a higher leveled comment card.

Aid Cards: Used to aid the players with scoring, dealing with opponents, and/or other various tasks within the game. Can also be used to boost the overall value of a comment card, or subtract from the overall value of the blog card.

How It's Played:
Beginning of the game, both players decide 100,000 pts be the Goal. They shuffle the decks and get to work.

Player 1 draws a card. Places a blog face down in the "in-writing" zone behind slot 1 on the front page. Ends his turn.

Player 2 draws a card. Places a blog from her hand to the front page in slot 1 worth 200 pts with a - karma. Player 2 accumulates 200 pts. and ends her turn.

Player 1 draws a card. He published a blog from his "in writing" slot 1 zone into front page slot 1, trumping player 2's blog worth 200 pts with a blog worth 400 pts and + karma, sending her blog to her fail pile. Player 1 accumulates 400 points and ends his turn.

Player 2 draws a card. She publishes a blog from her hand into front page slot 2. This Blog has a point value of 300 and a - karma. Player 2 posts a comment, valued at 100 on player 1's blog. Player 2 accumulates 300 points for her blog and ends her turn.

Player 1 draws a card. He post a response comment on his own blog, valued at 300 points, trumping player 2's comment and saving his blog from being moved to the fail pile (graveyard). (The alternative here is if Player 1 didn't have a comment card to beat player 2's, the blog would be destroyed at the end of his posting phase, before his scoring phase). Player 1 posts another comment on Player 2's blog valued at 700. He accumulates 400(blog score)+100(Player 2's comment)+300(Player 1's comment) 800 pts, adds that to his already 400 and he's sitting at 1200 points. Player 1 ends his turn.

Player 2 draws a card and places a blog in her to "in-writing" zone behind slot 1 face down. Player 2 cannot play any comment card to save her blog, so the blog is lost to the fail pile. Player 2 does not accumulate any points.

So on and so forth, until the game reaches 100,000 pts. and the winner is victorious.

Cards look like this...

D:E.K. Blog Card breakdown:
- The Yellow Stripes: Marks the Tier of the card. This is a Tier 2 card.
- 200: Marks the number of points you would receive per Score Phase.
- 2: Marks the turns that the card has to spend in the "in-writing" zone.
- The white "-": Marks the Karma of the Blog.
- GTFO and following text: Effect of the card.
- Obvious: Blogs are played Sideways on the frontpage! :D

D:E.K. Comment Card breakdown:
- FAIL: Marks the value of the card.
- Yellow Stripe: Marks the Tier. (Tier 1 Comment)

D:E.K. Aid Card breakdown:
...It's pretty self-explanatory. :)

I do not have any artwork to fill the white spaces for now, because I wanted to focus on the gameplay first before I got artsy fartsy with it.

So, what do you think?

Also, it's getting a little late, so I'm sorry if I seem incoherent. I'll be back soon to clarify anything.
Also Also, these rules are subject to changes. Most things are final BUT NOT ALL!

Last week, the Unofficial Destructoid Trading Card Game: Flame Wars was announced. Now today, the TCG formerly known as Flame Wars is now unnamed. What stands in it's place, is an acronym.

D: E. K.

But, what does D:E.K. mean? How is it relevant to the TCG I've created?

Well, that's something I'd like the community to participate in. This game is about you and I'd like to hear what you think D:E.K. should stand for.

Names should be clean, nothing like "ear-fucking kittens" or anything like that. Come up with as many names as you want to, and at the end, I'll pick the ones I like the best, and the community will vote for which name they would like to see be adopted as the Official name of the Unofficial TCG.

Of course, there will be a prize in the works for who ever gets the winning name. The contest will end on May 27th at 12:01 a.m. so get your entries in fast!

Now, it wouldn't be any kind of PR if I didn't have anything to add about the game. D:E.K. is now an intense, strategic, and very quick-paced TCG, which is easy enough to pick up in one play though. However, don't let that fool you, no matter how you build your 50 card deck, you'll always have a weakness the other bloggers could exploit. Do you go comment heavy, to block the opponents points? Do you go Blog heavy to score more? Do you choose to be a troll or a gent? And depending on these choices, you could control the front page, or, fade into oblivion.

Your choice.

Take a gander at a sneak peek of the cards.

The Back of the Cards! *subject to change*

Blog Cards!

Comment Card

Aid Card

Also, from now until May 27th, I'll be accepting user submitted entries for Aid cards. As long as they are balanced, I'll include them in the DEK card game! Or, if they require a bit of tweaking. ;)

Download the .PSD

Until next time, Chiiiiiildren!

Announcing, at a very inconvenient time, the project I've been working on over the past couple of days!

The Unofficial Destructoid: TCG, otherwise known as
Flame Wars
Name Pending

The game is very much still in it's infancy, pre-alpha (Is there even such a thing?), and way too soon for any prototype to be released. However, I have very big plans for this little TCG and I've locked down a good set of rules to make this TCG/RPG worthwhile and, in my mind, fun for everyone participating. Just to give you a little glimpse, here's a bit of information for you.

Back Story:
The year is 20XX.
Years ago, you were known for your acts in cyber-space. You held a position of authority and respect, one that you were proud to carry, and one that you were sure you would never lose...

Now, due to an unfortunate run in with fate, you have nothing. Your life is pointless. You have no dreams, no goals, no future. You browse the web, desperately looking for opportunities to rise back to stardom, only to find that you are seconds too late, which might as well be Eons.

Hopeless, ruined, and forgotten; that is your destiny.

But, on one fateful day, you find your beacon of hope. You find and within it, the keys and the foundation to start a new identity. To build yourself back up, to conquer your foes, and claim your rightful spot in the internet volumes as an IG; an Internet God.

Defy your destiny and wage wars against the Internet Gods, and become "Internet Famous" once again.

In FLAME WARS You're an Internet has been, looking for a second chance as stardom. Using stored up hours (hrs), you can write own blog posts, forum submissions, comments, challenge other players to FNF-Offs, and even call in some special community favors. Through the use of Karma, you can choose to pursue a path to become a revered Destructoid Editor, or feared as the Greatest Troll Ever in the history of the Internet. Build up your points, build up your Karma, beat back your foes with a stick, and claim the victory that is laid before you in DESTRUCTOID: FLAME WARS!

To finish:
Past (Character) Cards - 5
Activity Cards - 10
/Blog Cards - 10+ | 10-
\Short Blog Cards - 5+ | 5-
Forum Cards - 5+ | 5- | 5 ()
/Comment Cards- 6+ l 6 - | 4 () Completed 10/10 - Completed
\Quick Comment Cards - 2+ | 2- | 2 () Completed 6/6 - Completed
Community Favor Cards - 5+ | 5-
Specials- 10
FNF-Offs Challenges - 10



Completed: 16 /113 Total 14/79 + Deck 14/79 - Deck

In any case, if your interested, I've set up a tumblog to catch the information that I'll be dropping over the course of the next few weeks. I'm looking at a June release date, and to anyone that can predict the right day, I'll give you something special. ;D

Also, I'm completely open to suggestions. I'm not a professional when it comes to designing card games, so any suggestions, questions, or concerns you have, please tell me on here or email me!

Until next time chiiiiiiiildren!

Special thanks to:
The GHost
Photo Photo

10. I'm a lover of Trading Card Games!!

I pretty much love Trading Card Games. Almost as much as I do video games, and there is much joy explosions when they come together. (Think Pokemon TCG for Gameboy ColoH MY GOD!) It started with my older brother and the first generation of Magic The Gathering. I just loved how everything worked and felt, and at the time, I didn't know what I was becoming. Little did my brother know that he had given birth to a monster. MTG wasn't for me though, and it wasn't until I came across the Pokemon TCG that I became to realize I had a problem. I've still got my holographic mew card from the premier of the first Pokemon Movie, along with the Dragonite too. But with that card game, I was all about collecting. But when Yu-gi-oh Got released, I was all about trading and demolishing my opponents life points. Hell, I even competed regularly in a local tournament and won! But, all things must come to an end, and it was about the time that the Structure Decks started to come out that I gave up on it. (That and my cards got stolen...) Now, I'm desperately searching for a card game that will satisfy me. I've looked into I don't know how many, and I've now stumbled across Lackey to help curb my need. I've started to get interested in the EVE CCG which I'm sure now has been discontinued, but if you're interested in trying it out, email me!

9. I'm a HUGE Mobile gaming fan!

Not so much cell phones, but they work. I've always loved having a portable gaming device. I had the giant cinderblock of a gameboy, I had then upgraded to a Gameboy pocket (So slender, so beautiful.) I never really had an interested in the Gamegear and never heard of the NEOGEO pocket until I was older, so I didn't really bother with those. I then traded up to a Gameboy color. I fell out of it for a few years until my senior year of Highschool. I purchased my first system with my own money, a DS lite. I used the money I had to buy it and Kirby's Canvas Curse, and since then, I've never looked back. I've recently purchased an ipod Touch, and find the gaming library severely lacking.

8. I have been bitten by a squirrel...

Yeah, long story short, the ungrateful bastard didn't know I was trying to help it. So it bit me. And I killed the mother f*cker.

7. I don't have many gamer friends...

I'm kind of an anomaly in my department at school. I'm a big theater person, so all the people I hang out with... Love... theater... To the point where they randomly break out in the theme song to Rent of Wicked (Truth be told though, I love Wicked. :3) They all accept my gaming hobby for what it is, but they don't really understand it. I can't walk up to them and discuss the intricacies of video games, and how they can make you feel things, just like a theater experiance can. Video games just aren't that way for them and I accept it. They all understand it's fun, but that's about where it stops.

But, I can thank Destructoid for hooking me up with some friends that love video games just as much as I do, Twister1988, and Jackal27. Go check they're stuff out!

6. I'm going through a retro-phase...

It funny that I owned a bunch of the older systems, but I can't recall more than five games that I used to play on there regularly . Games off the top of my head that I can recall playing when I was smaller. Go!
Super Mario Brother 3
Super Mario Allstars
Super Mario World
... Umm....
Urban Strike!
...umm... ... d...

I know I played a lot more, but I never really appreciated them. So I'm going back and playing through the games that I missed out on, or played but remember nothing about. Currently I'm working on Chrono Trigger, mostly because it was released on the DS, and partly because It's supposed to get awesome. (Which, I'm still waiting for...) Also, many thanks to the Retroforce crew for aiding me in my quest. I love you all. Podtoid... Meh.

5. I find current gen games lacking in... Everything...

With the advancement of technology, I figured that we would see new games with better game play elements and better stories. Games made with a mutli-million dollar budget better be worth it, but I find in most current gen games, it's like they stuck their hand in a very small hat with three folded pieces of paper. Most games all have the same characters and the same plots. There's little difference in games like Halo and Mass Effect, where there should be a huge crevice. Gamers shouldn't have to choose between the two games for their best game, because it SHOULD be like comparing Oranges to Lettuce. They should be able to choose they're favorite genre of game, and stick to it, not this "OMG KZ2 iZ A HALOZ KYLLER! SO BALLA1" or from the opposite camp "HALOIS DABESSTS GAMES EVER!!1!OMGHEADSHOT!" That's why there is so much flaming because the gaming companies are all competing for the same market of people, not trying to become a better game developer, It's all about their Babylonian exploits and how many times can they change something little to the "space marine" formula to success.

4. I like Final Fantasy VIII over Final Fantasy VII...

Call me a hopeless romantic, but I thought most things about Final Fantasy VIII was better. Yes, Squall was an unlikable shit, yes the materia system in VII was awesome. But, when it's all said and done, I believe Final Fantasy VIII was better and a much better conclusion. I understand all the hype that surrounds FFVII, and I'm even a victim of it, but I think that all around, VIII was a better game. Now, to be fair, I'm not saying it's the best one, because I haven't played them all.

3. I hope a game makes me cry...

I now try to be completely engrossed in games, and in a lot of cases, I'm let down. I find that the older games had much better tear jerking moments than games now do. There's of course a few exceptions, like, COD:4, Fallout 3, Ikagura, and Windwaker, just to name a few. If you really want to know which games, most are over there in my profile.

2. My favorite period of gaming: The N64 Era...

No matter how many times I stare in awe at games now and games past, the N64 will forever be the system that brought about my love for games. When I first got the winged cap in Super Mario 64 and went flying through the first level, screaming "To Infinity and Beyond!" while my babysitter laughed at my enjoyment. I'll always look back and that is the system and that time period that hooked me into what I now consider a passion of mine.

1. It's pronouced, "BOSS"

BAH is my initials, and I've always searched for a justifiable nickname to be known as on the interwebs. Firstly, I've gone by a lot of names. I think the first one I ever created was for Neopets (Anyone remember the Fuzio?) in like 6th grade which was something like SepirothXX26. I then moved on from that to just whatever objects were around me at the time. Oldtoaster87, BeatupFord, Awkwardbonerinclass, etc.etc. My senior year, I was given the name brecksher by some friends of mine in my English class and it tried to stick, but like spaghetti thrown against the wall, it didn't really stick. Thus, a new pot of spaghetti has been thrown, and that pot is named Bahs.

An Epic tale of victory and defeat. A tale, the likes of which, has never been told. A tale underscored by Disney show-tunes sung by a chorus of Zombies...

Epic 'Stach

It was a dark and stormy night, a night that evil lurks in the shadows and heroes lie awake, terrified by what may be lurking just outside their door. I had just spent many perilous hours on the road, steering my steed though rain, and lighting, and gun fire, and explosions, and bears having sex with sharks having oral with crocodiles and a robot Tyrannosaurus Rex to reach a safe haven and attempt to sleep for the night with one eye open. Upon reaching my fortress of solitude, I was greeted with a hail from my cockass of a little brother, and a peace offering so I would not punching him in the teeth, of an Xbox 360 controller and a match with his already established party inside the world of Left 4 Dead. Exactly my kinda of game. I accepted, sat down with the controller in hand, and prepared for an epic battle of epic proportions and epic slaughtering ensued.

Chapter 1: The First Challenge.
(Dropping the "epicness". It's too hard to type like that, you know, with imagination? F*ck that stuff.)

I played on my little brothers LIVE account: SillySassy. Once the game started, it was pure bliss. We all laughed and cried. I can't remember how many times I heard screaming into the headset, followed by laughing and jeering from the other team. I had so much fun with this group of guys. (Blehman, ZekethePlumber, ArcticFox, CLIMAXOne, UB3RSLUG, and a lot more I can't remember. I feel bad, but if I played with you, leave a comment on here and I'll make sure my cockass of a little brother adds you for next Friday! You guys were incredible!) We made it all the way through until the rooftop of No Mercy and that's where we all died. But, even though that was disappointing, these guys made the game much more about just having fun, no matter whether we win or lost. It was just a blasty blast all around. And working together in the subway just inside the level on the stairs to take out 3/4 of their team felt incredible. We just rocked it all! The last time I had this much fun was when I got drunk on my birthday and sang Karaoke to "Killing Me Softly" while I couldn't feel my own ass. It has been such a blast to play with you guys, and I really do hope I get to play next week with the same batch of people and hopefully new ones that are just as equally awesome!

Chapter 2: Late Thank-You's
I want to thank Niero and Destructoid for creating a site like that. I don't know how long I've waited for a community like this, and I'm so glad I have found it when I did. We all love video games, good times, and meeting new friends. So, basically, I'd do dirty things to the Destructoid staff with my mouth. I love this place and the people so much, so thank you, Thank You, THANK YOU!

Chapter 3: d


Chad said my name in this weeks Retroforce Go! and he pronounced it right! I squealed like a little girl when I heard him ask my question, but more on Metal Slug tomorrow. Right now I'm going to get back to playing my DS and my Pokemon Pinball.

In other words, I'm going to ... You know...STFUAJPG

Niero, Please please please fix the way Safari publishes stories. It really cocks it up pretty bad. And not in the good, lemon-party way. I mean like the guy getting the jar broken inside his rectum cock-up. The glass cuts Niero, the glass cuts.