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5:25 PM on 02.03.2009

My GSAT scores: The Social Awkwardness Test

Earlier today Gizmodo posted a test to measure how nerdy we really are. While usually reserved for lame Facebook or Myspace notes, I thought I'd try the test out, and maybe you
guys will do the same. Answers that apply to me are in bold.

1. I own and wear t-shirts featuring the logos of computer/operating system manufacturers.
2. I am over the age of 22 and live with my parents.
3. I am, according to the medical definition, obese.
4. On an average day more of my human interaction happens on message boards or in blog comments than
with actual other people.
5. I have ended real friendships over arguments about computer or product choices.
6. I very seriously try to talk people into buying or switching to my OS/phone/product of choice
7. I commonly use very specific technical jargon without considering whether or not the person I'm talking to
understands it.
8. I hold an engineering or IT degree.
9. I have made a member of the opposite sex sit and watch me play video games for an hour or more.
10. I play with my phone at restaurants.
11. Almost all of my jokes are actually just catchphrases or references to The Simpsons, Family Guy, Borat,
or any other popular comedic film or show.
12. I have a medical problem that makes me sweat a lot.
13. I live or have lived for an extended period completely nocturnally, sitting at my computer all night and
sleeping all day.
14. I generally do not leave my home if it's not necessary for work or food retrieval.
15. I have over 50,000 Xbox 360 Gamerpoints.
16. I work in electronics retail.
17. I generally am only friends with other Apple people/Windows people.
18. My sense of humor is more in line with 4chan than any other comedic source.
19. I hang out exclusively with members of the same sex.
20. I own and wear a cowboy hat, Kangol hat, fedora and/or bowler.
21. I am the dominant talker in most conversations I have.
22. I think the Star Wars trilogy/Star Trek series is the greatest thing ever put to celluloid and will argue all
night about it.
23. When I hang out with my friends, we usually play Risk, Axis and Allies, Dungeons and Dragons and/or Settlers of Catan.
24. I have a level 80 character in World of Warcraft.
25. I've dressed up as a video game character/manga character in public on a day other than Halloween.
26. I say internet acronyms such as LOL and BRB out loud.
27. I own a sword, nunchucks and/or throwing stars.
28. I'm an obsessive collector.
29. I make my own image macros.
30. I am really, really into my cat. Like, really.
31. I have corrected someone's spelling or grammar on a message board or in blog comments.
32. I have authored and obsessively updated Wikipedia entries about cartoons from the 80's.
33. I breathe through my mouth, mostly.
34. I've read all of the greatest novels ever published, all of which happen to be graphic novels.
35. I suffer from halitosis and/or a laziness-based aversion to dental hygiene.
36. I vote for politicians based on their stance on net neutrality.
37. My dream girl has eyes the size of dinner plates, is part robot or, optimally, both.
38. I am a member of a private, invite-only BitTorrent tracker with strict ratio/bitrate requirements.
39. I regularly ingest caffeine through unconventional means.
40. I'm convinced that I would be happier if I worked on the Starship Enterprise.
41. I do things for the "lulz."
42. I always have the last word in online arguments. Always.
43. I wear sweatpants more than any other type of pants.
44. I am a guy and I have a ponytail.
45. I believe that it's the rest of the world that's awkward and I actually have everything pretty much figured
46. I have a hard drive exclusively dedicated to porn.
47. I write letters to companies and consumer interest blogs whenever I feel that I've been wronged.
48. I'm married in Second Life but single in real life.
49. I read Gizmodo more than the New York Times.
50. I am offended by this test.

I scored 15 out of 50, which means...

"You wear a "Can't sleep, clowns will eat me" shirt you bought at Hot Topic, but you rarely have trouble gathering a crew to play Left 4 Dead at your place. Sure, you might not have been prom king, but you've found your niche and similar people to you and you're making it work for yourself. You can't really argue with that."

Not too bad really, kind of a nice assessment. How did you do?

Link to the original story   read

12:06 PM on 12.12.2008

Friday Free for All (NVGR)

Im going to start sharing some random videos each Friday, be it one of my personal favourites, or just
something I saw this week online. Probably not often video game related, but Friday is a casual day

With the recent success of their newest song Jizz in my pants, the Lonely Island are in the spotlight once
again. Since working for SNL creating the digital shorts, Andy, Jorma and Akiva have had several mega hits
(Lazy Sunday, Dick in a box etc..) and they have another one.

But before they were working for Saturday Night Live, they had several popular online skits and songs. I thought
Id post a few of the songs here for those who havent seen any.

The Bing Bong Brothers

Just Two Guys

Does anyone know how to fix the weird formatting problem? I've noticed a bunch of other D-Toiders with the
same weird spacing in their text that I just can't figure out how to stop. It has something to do with embedding
videos I think.   read

9:29 PM on 12.07.2008

Force feedback helmet

To continue with their new gaming accessorizes line to "immerse players" TN games has created the HTX Helmet designed to let you feel your virtual headshots in real life

"The HTX Helmet is worn in conjunction with the 3rd Space Gaming Vest and delivers blows to the head when you are fired upon. Feel bullets whizzing by your helmet or the impact of getting shot in the head. The helmet will communicates with compatible games to give precise, 3 dimensionally accurate impacts where it happens, as it happens"

Last year they came out with a vest that simulated being hit with ten pounds of pressure, straight to your gut.

I personally don't have any interest in any of these, but the helmet would at least have some practical use, possibly in the FPS genre. If you could feel what direction the bullets were coming from, combined with a good surround system, it might give you a slight edge in competition, I guess?

Unfortunately, it can't help you from looking like a total twat while using it. I'll say this is only for the rich and bored.   read

9:39 AM on 11.05.2008

The saddest day in XBLA history. *Update*

Today, everyone with an xbox should be mourning the passing of an XBLA legend. Early this morning...Yaris was killed. The entire product page for the incredible, lifelike racing game has been deleted from the arcade, is their no reason in this world anymore!

Microsoft has yet to comment, so I'm not sure if this is part of their talked about de-listing plan, or an accident!? I hope it's the second one, because Yaris is a masterpiece that should be played by all, second only to Space Giraffe as the best downloadable titles on the system.


As its now been on the front page, what really happened is Microsoft's deal with Toyota has just expired. What a shame.   read

10:35 PM on 11.03.2008

Wow...please don't let her in to office tomorrow. (NVGR)

A french Canadian Radio station prank called Sarah Palin today...and not surprisingly, she fell for it hook line and sinker. sad.


This is a bit long and the accent may bother some people This is embarrassing. Tomorrow is a HUGE day for Americans and I just hope everyone makes the right choice. I know I'm Canadian but seriously...this terrifies me. It's not even really a funny joke anymore, it's like...a security issue. This woman could be running your country. People are still far to hung up on racism or sexism. Her problem is not her sex, she is just retarded, I'm sorry but it's true.   read

4:06 PM on 10.27.2008

Gears of War movie poster.

Okay, so this isn't actually the real poster, it's a mock-up that was posted at


"So yeah, I was bored and the lack of news coming over the wire convinced me to pop open Adobe Photoshop and mess around for a while. One thing lead to another, and a few hours later I ended up with my own little Gears of War Movie poster. Dan Landis added his two cents on the casting over Skype.

"Yes, we know that Kilmer is currently a bit on the heavy side, and Batista may not be the best actor on the face of the planet, but we figured what the fuck they sure as hell look the part. Dwayne The Rock Johnson and Lester Terry Tate Speight were obvious choices. To be perfectly clear, the Gears of War movie has NOT been officially cast yet, these are merely our shooting the shit selections."

Even though Cliffy...err, Cliff Bleszinski said that he doesn't think a wrestler should be cast, I don't mind these fake choices. Anyways, thought it was funny.   read

9:37 PM on 10.24.2008

Apple Donates 100 grand to fight against Proposition 8 (NVGR)

Apple announced today via short message on their site, that they will be publically opposing Proposition 8, and donating 100k to the No on 8 campaign. If you dont know what Proposition 8 is, its a bill seeking a change in Californias allowance of same-sex marriage. A "no" vote on the measure means marriages between same-sex couples would still be permitted in California.

Apple is publicly opposing Proposition 8 and making a donation of $100,000 to the No on 8 campaign. Apple was among the first California companies to offer equal rights and benefits to our employees same-sex partners, and we strongly believe that a persons fundamental rights including the right to marry should not be affected by their sexual orientation. Apple views this as a civil rights issue, rather than just a political issue, and is therefore speaking out publicly against Proposition 8.

I know this is potentially flamebait, but Im just happy to see Apple reaching for a cause, no matter how politically motivated it probably is. I think everyone should have equal rights, and Im sorry this really doesnt have much to do with gaming.   read

12:57 PM on 10.22.2008

Hell has frozen over: EA is no longer the enemy.

Part one of my two-part look at gaming giant Electronic Arts: first, the positive

Okay, so the title is a bit misleading, were all still allowed to hate on EA. I mean, fuck them right? How dare they improve NHL 09 to be one of the best sports game ever made, how could they have the audacity to publish Dead Space, Mirrors Edge, Left for Dead and Rock Band 2, in the same year? Could it be that the all-powerful EA might actually be trying?

Lets recap some of the good things they have done these past few years.

-Skate was a breath of fresh air and made me remember skateboarding games used to be fun. Skate 2 looks even better, as you can finally get off your board, re arrange objects to set up good lines, and they promised to make vert tricks actually, you know, work.

-NHL 09 is almost without question, the best hockey game since NHL 94, in my opinion best sports game of all time, its really that brilliant.

-This year alone, they will have their names on Dead Space, Mirrors Edge, Left for Dead and Rock Band 2. Huge holiday games and Im sure it will show in their pocketbooks.

-They seem to have stayed away from the ridiculous DLC they once tried to spit out. Im sure they still charge for silly micro transactions, but remember The Godfather? They were charging real money for in game profits, thats retarded.

-Burnout Paradise is an example of DLC done right. Unlike Microsoft which FORCED Epic to charge for the Gears DLC, they let Criterion release free updates (which are significant) to their open world driving game.

Overall they seem to be changing their image a bit. They have a long way to go before the can erase the harm that has been done to their image but, its good to see them trying.   read

9:48 AM on 06.17.2008

AMD shows off "Cinema 2.0" Say's we'll get to "Play inside movies"

Today AMD showed off a new graphics chip that is, well...very powerful. Here's the press release, that doesn't use hyperbole at all /sarcasm.

“With Cinema 2.0 you won’t just play movies, you’ll play in them. Imagine the ability to look around the environments in a sci-fi movie, put yourself in the driver’s seat in a race scene, duck behind things and pop up to see what’s going on in an intense firefight – all of these things are possible with Cinema 2.0,” said Charlie Boswell, director, Digital Media & Entertainment, AMD. “The challenge for any director has always been taking a wonderful vision in the canvas of the mind and translating that to film for the audience to see. Cinema 2.0 breaks down the time and cost barriers of getting a scene or shot that’s ‘just right’, and what’s better, allows audiences to dive deeper into the experience to explore every part of that director’s vision.”

“Today’s demonstration of Cinema 2.0 represents a sip from the multi-billion dollar gaming industry’s Holy Grail, while presenting a new quest to digital filmmakers,” said Richard Huddy, worldwide developer relations manager, AMD Graphics Product Group. “Imagine going to the opening of a movie and upon getting home being able to play a game that looks and feels absolutely identical – right down to the character models and sets.”

“The Cinema 2.0 milestone is comparable to other major evolutions of film: sound, color, cinemascope, 70mm, THX, stereoscopic 3D, IMAX, and the like,” said Jules Urbach, founder and CEO, Jules World LLC, OTOY. “Cinema 2.0 means truly interactive cinema, where the experience of watching a film is bridged perfectly with real-time rendering for a potentially dynamic and engaging experience. The cornerstone of this is not limiting the artistic process, and AMD innovation now makes that possible. Today AMD and OTOY demonstrated the ability to complete cinematic compositions in the real-time interactive realm, and that is a giant leap toward rapidly creating a new art form and experience.”

Watch the Video here   read

12:59 PM on 06.05.2008

The Start of the Affair: Or my first foray into the C-Blogs

I'll start by saying hello, my name is Keith, aka The Awkward Mongoose. It's taken me a while to join the party, but better late than never right?

I've been reading Destructoid religiously almost since it's inception, it's a refreshing place filled with tons of interesting people, trustworthy gaming news and great Podcasts. I feel like RetroforceGO! is something everyone should be listening to, because it's great to either hear about the classic games you love, or be informed on gems you may have missed. This is not to mention it will have you laughing almost the entire time.

This brings me to where I'm going with this post. I'm not going to talk about my first system (Sega Genesis) or the first game I fell in love with (Chrono Trigger/Turtles in Time) but rather talk about the point in my life where video games grew to something much more than something I enjoyed regularly.

I've played games the majority of my life, in fact, I can't remember NOT playing video games. I played Sonic and Dynamite Headdy until my eyes hurt. I spent more time with Chrono Trigger than with my real friends, faked sick to stay home and beat it. I used to bet my allowance money with my dad's friends, challenging them to races in "Top Gear".

The thing is, I have never cared about gaming as much as I do right now, because of sites like Destructoid, podcasts like RetroForceGo! and Podtoid, and the amazing gaming figures like The GameJew, Mega64 and Penny Arcade/Ctrl+Alt+Delete. I was thinking to myself the other day, "I spend more time reading about games than playing them". But is that a bad thing? I don't think it is, I mean...I love being here.

Now some back story, I generally refer to the ps2 era as my downtime in gaming. Yes, of course I still played mine, often...but it wasn't the same. Even though I played one of my favourite games of all time, Silent Hill 2, and many other classics, my passion was not there.

First time through, I never payed attention to Ico, God of War 1 and 2, Shadow of the Colossus, Okami, and the list goes on. (I didn't own the original Xbox either, so if anyone has any suggestions on games I should get and play on my 360, thank you.) At the time I felt disconnected to the gaming world. I had long since stopped subscribing to Nintendo power, was annoyed by the fanboyism in OXM and PSM, and basically I just lost my knowledge of the current generation of games.

Once I started frequenting the more mainstream videogame sites like IGN, Gametrailers and Gamespot, the fire was reignited. Then, I stumbled upon Destructoid, and it was on like never before. I took out a loan and bought an Xbox 360, HD monitor, and a pile of games. I bought a DS lite and *not* an R4 to *not* play every single game I could get my grubby little hands on. I went back to my parent's house and dug out my Dreamcast and ordered a bunch of games online.

I want to start blogging more, and maybe joining in on some Friday night Fights with you guys. Thank you Dtoid, as you have been The Start of my Affair.   read

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