The story is always the same. I play a match with some men, they find out that I am female (by some obviously hard matlocking or just looking at my profile) and feel the need to go two ways. Either insult me furiously. Demanding I give the headset back to my boyfriend who is obviously playing and not me
OR by telling me how good I am for a girl. Am I hot? Am I fat? That I'd really love to sit on their **** and come to America/Their Country because they would really know how to show me a good time.
chuckle
Usually the insult from American's is the same - "British Bitch/Whore/Slag/Slut". I don't know why but they all come out with the same thing. British people usually just call me fat over and over in an attempt to make me worse at the game or something? I don't know. The insults are usually constant or the friend adds and private messages are just pure comedy. I don't know what it is with a good 70% of the male users on XBL but they need to go out and see the female form for more than just a reproduction partner. Yes I know we cook and clean sometimes, we do other things. Please discover that! Oh and while your at it, work out where the clitoris is. We are fed up with telling you!
Basically I am used to being chatted up on XBL by a whole host of creepy but sometimes charming gamers. Here comes the "Lesbian" style. I have been hit on by Lesbians on XBL ... a lot recently. I don't know if the 'coming out parade' finally got xbox pod units at their barracks but it has seriously been very creepy. While the example I am using today claims to have a boyfriend... I seriously doubt she just likes that. According to her profile - she loves Halo and has a boyfriend she loves but if your a girl she likes to swap pictures with her xbl vision camera. Interesting? She added me and sent me this message.
At first I was like "Oh cool another girl." and I check out her profile in hopes of finding something we could play together. In the back of my mind I was kind of confused by why she wanted a picture of me.. and a wink in the message! z0mfg!
So I checked her profile and she had 0 gamerscore and no games played. She literally set up her xbox got online and started messaging me!? Maybe she was at her boyfriends house and finally made herself an account? I don't know. For someone who "rocks" at Halo 3 you thought she would of had some achievements for it or played it on her account at least? Well who knows? She probably plays it on her boyfriends account.
I reply asking as to why she has not played any games on her account and where she found my gamer tag from. Also what other games does she play?
Well there we go. A source and her main game/only game? I asked her if she had any other games as I have lent my copy of Halo 3 out (seeing as I never play it) and I usually play COD4 or Gears etc.
Why does she want a picture of me so bad!!? I am really scared of this lady. I was tempted to dress up with my hair in a hat and make myself super butch. Holding a sign saying "I am scared of lady lickers" but I thought writing a post about it would of been funnier :P
I told her I don't know her at all so why would I send pictures. Then proceeded to tell her there is no point in adding me if she has no games I play. I came on this morning to take these photo's and she's played games on her account! Fuck yeah! Add her away boys, she's your dream ;-) .. man... I need to complete Devil May Cry 4 :s
Edit: I know the page looks messy because the pictures are all sized like the front page ones. I have no choice in that, Niero's uploader auto sizes them down if they are over the tiny 468(?) size. I am very sad panda indeed - my previous clean blog is now horrible and messy :(
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Destructoid, hello. I'm Lauren - but most of you will know me as 
Oh before you guys ask the clitoris remark was for the douche bags on xbl who are dicks. I know all of you on dtoid have spent way to much time mapping out different ways of getting to the clitoris, it's weak points, what elements are effective against it and how many experience points you'll gain after you win.
I also know that scientific pictures of vagina's are hilarious :D
ATTACK THE CLITORIS' WEAK POINT FOR MASSIVE DAMAGE.
I wish I had guys pretending to be pretty girls hitting on me online. But seriously, I weep for the male race, and I want to give gay-friend sympathy hugs to all female gamers. (Well, the awesome ones, anyway.)
@sharpless
I mean this was more funny than annoying but it just gets old sometimes. I'm going to compile some of the best messages over a long period of time and do a huge post or something at the end of the year.
eep. that's pretty creepy, lauren. if you wanna play on XBL with me, give me a shout. i really just play GTA online. i curse a lot but i definitely won't hit on you!! i like boys!
Wow, lulz.
This reminds me of back on the original xbox live days. Me and my roommates had a house account called RVAKat (we lived in Richmond, VA and on Catherine street). You should have seen the amount of mistaken sexual identity with that screen name.
Anyways whenever I get on xbox live I usually don't even use a headset, or just set up a private chat with friends when I'm playing with them.
lolol i get "you sound like you're fat" all the time. i get a good laugh out of it, though. so far i've only had to put one person on block, from spam messaging. it just gets old.. yeah.. girl on the innernet... i think it's a tarp, personally.
I can't wait for that message compilation.
"I know all of you on dtoid have spent way to much time mapping out different ways of getting to the clitoris, it's weak points, what elements are effective against it and how many experience points you'll gain after you win. "
That sentence is pure win. Wanna trade pics?
...anyway, like GuitarAtomik I also think it sucks what girls go through not only on XBL but in general. I've been to various chatrooms where, if a girl shows up, all the young boys instantly spam "SHOW US TITS". Its SO freaking annoying, and if I ever try to tell them to shut up, they assume I'm gay.
*sigh*
@mid3vol
That's my favorite. "You sound like you're fat." Because that's entirely possible.
*Posting in a blog with "lesbian" in the title.*
Jim's head on Jessica Alba's body........do it....
Eh, the clitoris is nice and all... but the g spot is where it's at. ^_^
WHO IS HITTING ON MAI BFF! U R MINE TO UBER NO ONE ELSES!!!1111!1oen1!1
What the fuck's a clitoris?
Yeah, I agree with GuitarAtomik — it’s sad that girls have to go through this kind of crap when they’re trying to play online. You should come to the dark side, Lauren...PS3 owners aren’t nearly as bad with the racist/sexist/homophobic leanings (at least in my experience).
Lauren!! you werent meant to tell them about me cracking on to you!
goddammit woman!
You only have 360 gamerpoints in Lost Odyssey Lauren? WHAT A N00B!
My little (who isn't so little anymore) sister has the XBL douchebag problem all the time when she's acing the fuck out of folks in R6V/2. She says she's gotten a few pics of dicks in the past. That pisses me off, but I have to expect it: the people who play the FPS machine the most are frat boy douchebags who think that sending a chick a pic of their junk will score them Google Maps directions and a phone number.
Still, lez flirting over XBL...very progressive, as long as she didn't send you a pic of her landing strip, you dig? :D
Can we look forward to any substance here, or is it just shit like this indefinitely?
You should have sent a picture of a giant cock.
The clitoris is real. It's the female orgasm thats the myth.
@Dan CiTi cos I'm playing through it now lol.
i really dont know why I found "nerd" girls so sexy...
but only those girls in the gaming area, i study medicine and the nerd-type girl over there are crazy lunatics.
Thank God I don't have boobs, because that sound really bad, having to deal with more idiots than the average Xbox Live user.
Hmmm, strangely this clitoris talk reminds me of a story.
When I was at university, we had anatomy dissection labs, and during the reproductive system labs, one of the girls (who was a lesbian) in our class spent a lot of time pointing out the clitoris to all the geeky guys who felt it could be of some use to them later.
Lets just say a dissected clitoris does not exactly strike me as something to inspire a return journey.
Anyway, if I was you, I wouldn't have read any of that, cause its disgusting.
Also, cutting penises in half with a scalpel is something you only ever want to see, and definitely not do. Yes, any day I only have to touch my own penis is a good day.
I think I'm going to stop now.
I think the Lesbo party is becuase the 360 has LOGO OR
as is the case with Xpeeps the Lesbos are really pathetic men.
Theres a definitive solution to these problems. Dont use a headset when you arent playing with people that you know aint dicks. I never use a headset and it makes things a lot more enjoyable when i accidently nade someone on COD4. Then again, i also like having a massive rant at someone and then turning my headset off. People usually flip the fuck out and its made even more gratifying that they arent getting a response.
Mc Chris' new album song 'OnStar' comes to mind.
"I need ONSTAR...to find the Clit! (NO SHIT)"
"am i in the ballpark or the back of the stands??"
hehe it's awesome. and creepy girlies are creepy. luckily WoW players dont seem to be as "shocked" anymore i guess, although i still see guildies flirting/joking at times.
I've had my friend-who-is-a-girl talk for me on voice chat while I gamed once.
The result is both incredibly sad and endlessly amusing.
@Mozgus lol tell me about it. I hate winning a match knowing I've won because all they did was follow me around and not shoot :/ I usually quit out.
Sorry about the uploader :( I'm doing teeengs.
Try having an ambiguous name -and- a voice like a girl.
Not fun.
It must suck to have people hit on you.
@nebonesbeing hit on in real life and xbl are totally different things.
People arent hitting on me on xbl because they think im pretty or hot or funny etc. they are hitting on me because I has a VJJ. lol. So there is no compliment there really :-)
Real Life I would be very complimented but sadly I am not the single :P so i can lololololololooolololl and show them a picture of a cat.