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aneishka
9:02 PM on 03.14.2010

I am a giantic technology fan. Laptops, iphones, gaming consoles (I own four), gigantic LCD tvs. I love it all. My favourites films feature a lot of CG like Vexille, Ghost in the Shell, Star Wars etc. I'm unlike any of my female friends who don't play games and don't get into nerdy discussions like could a lightsabre cut through adamantium....yes it's happened.

I do however have a slightly technology related fear. I have no fears about the dark, insects or gigantic animals. My fears are more exotic. I'm deathly afraid of the black void that exists in CG or misplaced pixels.

Here's an example. These pics come from a behind the scenes features for a deleted scene in Star Wars Ep 1 where the scene of the gungun submarine has to go over an imaginary waterfall





See that???? See that blackness around the 'waterfall'? That void terrifies the hell out of me. Why? I have no idea. I suppose because there is absolutely nothing there!!!! I mean look at it there is absolutely nothing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But I digress.

Another phobia I have comes from the below pics





Seriously what the hell is this shit? Okay so this is the early builds of Final Fantasy XIII when it was being built out for the ps2. Note that Rikku and Yuna are being used as a placeholder and they are being drawn in a style that is more suited to anime than actual gaming. I'm not sure why it freaks me out. Whether it's the fact that you can see traces of the current product in the pics or the fact that the two characters are using a battle system that doesn't belong in their universe.

Note: This came up from Jim Sterling's recent article about how the xbox was not to blame for ff 13.

Anyone out there have a similar fear or have some thoughts to what this is? Love to hear your comments.
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I suck at games. That's no lie. I can barely hold my own in a match of Modern Warfare or Halo without getting fragged in about five seconds. I have no skills or any online gaming aptitude. Which is why I intially loved Final Fantasy.

Now don't get me wrong. I don't consider Final Fantasy to be easy in any way shape or form. As each variation comes out the battle systems take on a new form and introduce new elements of gameplay. Number VII introduced limit breaks. VIII had the draw system. X with it's conditional turn based combat and XII kicked my ass with it's "Active Dimension Battle" and Gambit System. I died again and again until I finally learned how to use it...

But I degress.

When I initially got into gaming it was at the age of 11 with the gameboy. My console experience however didn't take place until I was 12. This was much later than most kids my age who already who grown up with nintendo. My first gaming experience was with the playstation 1 when my future brother-in-law brought over his playstation and I got to play Tekken 3. That year I managed to convince my parents to buy me one for my birthday.

Of course not having any disposable income and the fact that my parents were notoriously tight with money I had limited games at my disposal. So I had to rely on renting and borrowing. However I ran into the problem that still plagues me to this day....I suck at games.

Games like Metal Gear Solid, Tomb Raider, Wu-Tang continued to frustrate me as my simple mind couldn't cope with anything that wasn't 'mash this button to punch'. This was until one fateful afternoon when I was in my local video store and saw the following:



I rented it and took it home that evening. I had no idea what to expect or how to play the game. The only things I knew were that FF7 was supposed to be awesome and that it featured this guy:



As I started the game and my first ever battle in Midgar I had absolutely no idea what to do. The action button was not the X button like the other games I had played. I clumsily strugged through to victory and realised I wanted more. Why? Because although I still had to work for my victory the battle system ultimately gave me a sense of control amongst the chaos of battle. Provided I had levelled up enough, had a healer and eventually at the end the Knights of the Round summon I would be guaranteed victory over the incredibly evil and fashionally dressed Sephiroth.

Next it was VIII, X, IX and then VI. I ploughed through all of them. But then I got to to XII. Oh XII you were like a bad boyfriend. You were tough from the beginning, you brought me to tears and you never took me nice places...but the more you shot me down the more I wanted you. But most importantly XII took away my control of the battlefield and of the bloodless carnage I loved to induce up on the A.I monsters. All I could do was stand and watch as my characters operated by only doing things I had told them to do earlier. In my choices of actions it had left me seemingly choiceless.

Now the newest shiniest version of Final Fantasy has been released. Oh yes it is finally here. So far so good. Okay I've died a few times before I actually paid attention to the tutorials but I seem to be making progress. I still have no control over anyone who isn't the party leader but the paradigm system is wonderful. In an instant my team members can be healers, saboteurs etc. And since growing up, getting a job and actually having some cash to blow I've expanded upon the genres of gaming, increasing my skills. I still suck but not quite as badly.

What do you guys think of the new Final Fantasy game? Has your relationship been as interesting as mine? Love to hear your comments.
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