I remember being a little kid in a motel pool in Texas and talking to another kid about video games. He told me that in Japan they were on Super Mario Bros. part 14 or some shit like that. As a kid this was totally believable because I'd always here that stuff was out faster in Japan. The kid then told me that if I were to take out the flat thing in that is in the middle of the bottom of a cartridge and put it in my Nintendo alone, I'd be able to play all the Super Mario Bros. I had two copies of Mario but decided the kid was a damn moron and never tried it. The point is, Japan was supposed to be full of Robots paving the roads in silicon, but that hasn't been the case.

Of the games I have for PS3 (Resistance, Gundam Musou, Ninja Gaiden, Warhawk, Skate, Unreal Tournament, Call of Duty 4, and soon enough (but not soon enough) Grand Theft Auto 4), I have only bought 3 of them in Japan. Resistance was a world-wide release when the PS3 came out. The other two were released here first. Ninja Gaiden was here about a month before the U.S. (my motherland). Not a big deal. Gundam Musou was here months before the U.S., but who cares? I chipped in ten bucks and my Japanese friend paid for the rest. Pretty crap game.

The other 5 games were either imported or bought when I was back home for the holidays. All of them came out in Japan months later and UT3 will probably never even come here. So, I ask you, where the hell is the Japanese goodness I dreamt of as a young'n? Where is Mario 13? It's not here. Stay where you are if you don't like J-games and are a Western, big-gun-touting, shit going kablooey, whores getting penily stabbed game fan.

The reason I am writing this post is because I held off on ordering GTA4 because I saw it was a "world-wide-release" on April 29th. I guess Japan no longer is counted with the rest of the world. I ordered it on play-asia when I heard Capcom was just barely about to translate GTA4 and that it'd be available in 2008. Then I go to the store and ask them, "Are you sure you'll be selling it on the 29th? I read on the internet it'll be out everywhere except Japan." Only, that was all in Japanese and awkwardly said. The guy told me it would be there and said something about it being a non-Japanese version. I was so damn happy because I didn't have work on the 29th and was going to play all freakin' day. I even woke up before 10 a.m. to go get the game. Sure enough, they didn't get the game. I live in bumblefuk Japan, too. So it seemed absurd they'd be importing it. This ain't Akihabara. I was pretty pissed, but I wasn't surprised either. Now I have to wait until the 2nd for them to even send it off to my apartment surrounded by rice fields. I want this game now!

Somebody, please console me. I don't even care if that pun was intended or not...