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AgentMOO's blog

8:40 PM on 09.13.2009


PAX 2009 was AMAZING! I am not much of a writer so I'll describe my experience by means of INTERPRETIVE DANCE! By which I mean I will post all my pictures with mildly funny captions.


The weekend started for wifey and me on Thursday and on arrival we went to the Space Needle to get a bird's eye view of the city we'd be crawling with Dtoiders for the next few days. The rumblings began in the gift shop... I could tell Chad was in the area because I found this friend of his:

IT WILL SNUGGLE YOU TO THE POINT OF UNCONSCIOUSNESS. Oh boy what are we getting ourselves into? So we head out to a classy dinner at the J-Ro organized Farestart meetup, where we encountered a gaggle of Dtoiders and dined on the finest in hobo cuisine. After that we headed to gameworks where it was packed with so many Dtoid people that we couldn't get past the doorway!


Friday the doors opened at PAX but I had two things on my mind. Get to the Hey Ash Whatcha Playing panel and get to the Destructoid panel. After showing up about surveying the main floor, I met Mr. Destructoid! I spoke with him for a while and he exposed me to many secrets I cannot utter here about cold fusion, Atlantis, Jimmy Hoffa, and the meaning of life. And then all of the sudden, he whipped out a baseball cap and declared his favorite team!

Surprised by that bombshell I wandered around in a daze, working my way up to get in a gigantic line to see the HAWP panel where a MANLY TEAR was shed.

Learning my lesson from the HAWP line, I went to the next line almost an hour early for the Destructoid panel, where I stayed around and met another large number of community members. Then out of the blue, Maya shows up with the coveted LOBSTER MILKSHAKE of Cblog fame!

When I got in to the theater, the crowd was huge! The line was so long that the last people lucky enough to make it in were standing room only. We were greeted with the teaser clips on the screen, getting us pumped up for an amazing panel. When the presentation, questions, and Samit's birthday were over... Chad grabbed the mic and sang an incredible song. As someone who posts comments in a gaming community environment I am subject to using a lot of hyperbole, but this performance really brought me back to the days of being a child seeing Disney movies for the first time. I entranced by the music, but this time the song was about a community I was a part of and made it very profound, and emotional for me.

Fast forward a bit after going to pike place and seeing the town, my wife and I head to Elephant and Castle to rejoin the Destrucoid masses. The yummy Imperial IPA then fuels a night of debauchery until 2 am when management told us to get the fudge out.



The next day I drag myself out of bed and head to the indie games panel and scribble down some nonsensical notes. I think they translated to something along the lines of "innovation = good, big budget = bad". Armed with my indie notes, I head over to the luxurious Best Western to record a NGCast with Wardrox, Nintendoll and the gang. We sat down and talked about indie games, the GHost's close friends and of course Bionic Commando, Half Life 2, and Halo.

More tourism ensued, and then we headed out to a classy Destructoid party across from the Red Lion. Over the course of my evening we got to meet even more people we hadn't gotten around to yet! (We still didn't get to say hi to everybody) As we said our goodbyes, and got ready to head out for the next leg of our trip in Vancouver, we were sad to leave you guys but we had a great time!

Left to right: My wife Anna, Me, Sharky McSnaggletooth, MamaDonna

11:11 AM on 08.20.2009

10 reasons to get AMMO

10. Hippies. Hordes of them, and they are all swinging bags of oranges at you

9. Swine flu pig, it has one

8. Yashoki doesn't like it

7. Mr. Destructoid

6. You can trip balls in it

5. It's split screen like goldeneye, who's got the golden gun?

4. 16 players over XBOX Live, which you have since you listened to Blehman

3. Chad Vs. Reverend Anthony and other editor mashups with the character roster


1. PEW PEW PEWs, lots of them

Only 240 moonbucks   read

6:16 PM on 08.14.2009

(Updated) AMMO for FNF on the XBOX360!

Now that Agent MOO: Maximum Overdeath has been released on Indie Games marketplace (Available here), so it's time for some Friday Night Fights! I will be hosting at 11PM ET on my gamertag Agent MOO. Also, Kauza will be hosting at 9PM ET.


Please excuse some of the network hiccups, I am working on an update to make the experience smoother. The update will be available as soon as it goes through the Indie Games peer review process!   read

11:18 PM on 07.11.2009

Agent MOO: Maximum Overdeath trailer


My game, AMMO, is releasing soon as a community game on the XBOX Live Marketplace. It will be available for 200pts as soon as it passes the peer review process. Here's the trailer for the game, you can find more info at the game's hompage, I look forward to playing it online with you all once it's launched on the XBOX 360!

The music in the trailer is one of the tracks from the original soundtrack created by I KILL PXLS (Dtoid username: Guitar Atomik).   read

6:04 AM on 05.12.2009

Top 100 things with numbers in them! #99

100. THI4F
Who are the ad wizards who came up with this one? As everyone's pointed out, this title has picked up either an "A" or a "FOUR" depending on how you say it. Here's my verbal interpretation:

99. Single blogs split into 10 posts
Come on, you guys are better than this.   read

7:13 PM on 02.01.2009

10 things you didn't know about Agent MOO

10. A computer I modded and gave away to a friend actually caught fire years later. In an attempt to get a different version of AGP card to fit on the old motherboard, I used a soldering iron to melt the dividing piece of plastic away. Doing this caused the pins to not seat well and pop out of place - hence a short that caused a luckily non-destructive fire.

9. In high school I once emulated the Soy Bomb incident by running across the field through a girls softball game, being chased out the parking lot by angry parents. I was suspended from school for a day and my interruption of an out caused the home team to lose.

8. Of all games, the most played game of my youth was NBA Jam. I was OBSESSED with this game and played with the cheat codes and made it a goal to get as many half court dunks as possible, something around. If you play this game with me I will shove the shit out of you and then dunk the ball as soon as I get it.

7 I once tried to impress a girl by telling her I had 10 million sims living in my sim city.

6. I once constructed a potato cannon that was 10 feet long.

5. I am completely deaf in my left ear and wear a hearing aid in the right. No deaf accent though, but I do have an awesome device that lets me connect bluetooth audio directly into my ear. So be wary - I can be looking you directly in the face while Trent Reznor is going BLARGRAGRAGRG in my ear at full volume.

4. I have a BS in Computer Science, and my 9 to 5 job is no way related to games.

3. In an attempt to come up with a new method of brewing iced coffee I made several apparatuses. I tried an aluminum foil chute from my drip filter into a series of cans with ice, coffee ice cubes, and what I called "Triple Brewing" where I would pass the coffee through the grinds several times until it turned into a concrete like substance.

2. I have an unhealthy obsession with the game worms.

1. Domesticated Moo is domesticated. I'm married, have two cats and am a couple years or so away from having little Miini-Moos pitter-pattering around.   read

6:08 AM on 01.13.2009

Having fun with bots.


I was playing around with AI bots in my game and tried out 50 at a time, set to attack their teammates. The result is this swarm of moos and hippies. View high quality for less grainyness.   read

6:58 AM on 09.25.2008

AMMO Contest - And the winner is...

Gynecologist Cobra!

Gyno Cobra wins with this epic photoshop of himself kicking ass. I will create a character for my game for him as the winner of this contest - keep your eyes peeled for the character in Agent MOO: Maximum Overdeath!

Take a look at the other entries Here and Here.

Also, there will be an AMMO game for FNF this Friday at 11PM ET!   read

12:09 AM on 06.20.2008


The secret is out!   read

12:06 PM on 06.12.2008

The start of the affair: The Commodore 64


Like many of my generation, my first exposure to video games was Mario Bros & Duck Hunt, but the commodore 64 showed up on my doorstep one day and blew away my "read only" console based perception of gaming. Yes, you read correctly - I was retro gaming back in the NES days. The Commodore 64 was a true family computer, with a wide array of games, applications, its own BASIC programming language and a distinctive command line interface.

The C64 game library was diverse in a time where genres were just beginning to be carved out. There were of course the typical buckets of Action, Adventure, Sports, and breakdancing. Without a playbook of templates to choose from, game developers had to solve problems and come up with new activities on their own. The games I have played on the c64 have been very influential on my tastes in both the games I play and those want to make.

In modern game development the formula for producing a game is often to create the environment, and then apply the story and characters to it - this was not the case in the C64 era. Developers were tasked with making games from scratch and taking new risks each time. This risk taking worked two ways, resulting in either a genuinely enjoyable experience, or the type of encounter that makes you want to shower for hours until you feel clean again.

Games abounded with quirky mechanics and jokes. In Ultimate Wizard, each level had a title that would display - one level was called "Where's Mario?", a reference to the Donkey Kong inspired mechanics that it and Jumpman shared. Years before Shaq broke boards at LSU, you could break backboards in Dr. J and Larry Bird One on One and the janitor would show up to clean your mess.

In Platoon, the game based on the gritty film portrayal of the Vietnam war, one of the key indicators is morale. As you play the game your morale is displayed as low, as you die over and over until your real life morale drops and you never want to play the game again. This game had a powerful effect on me and made me fear the possibility of another draft even as a small child.

I don't mean to give the impression that all licensed games were bad back then - GI Joe was absurdly fun. This game used an array of GI Joe and Cobra characters all with their own unique weapons, plus a vehicle overworld. The boss weakness concept was used extensively, in a period that pre-dates Mega Man.

Ultimate Wizard: best game ever or best game ever?

Ultimate Wizard was a remarkably underappreciated game. The genre of side scrolling platform/ladder jumpers had a short history at this point. First Donkey Kong invented the style, then Jumpman played around with the mechanics to make it more interesting - finally Ultimate Wizard took the whole thing and turned it on its head.


As you can see from this clip - the very first level introduces an amazing amount of action contained on screen. The game's environment is very interactive, as you pick up treasures, the level will switch around and reveal new passageways or traps. For each level you are equipped with offensive or defensive magic to fend off enemies who have special abilities of their own. From the moment you start up the level, the sounds draw you in as the environment is generated and you contemplate how you will approach your challenges. As opposed to a simplistic game like Donkey Kong, this is something that would keep you occupied for hours.

In addition to the core gameplay, Ultimate Wizard also provides a level editor built in to the game. The level editor gives you the freedom to try out traps and play with the game mechanics in a way previously not available in commercial games. I personally liked to make a vat of treasures to swim around in like Scrooge McDuck.

The Commodore 64 was the precursor to the PC gaming platform. This was truly a single machine that could handle work tasks as well as play a wide library of games. For me personally, playing around with a level editor and being able to run BASIC statements that could exclaim "Agent MOO is cool" made me realize that gaming is a small world after all. With the concepts of PC gaming that this platform introduced, the way for amateur game developers was paved.   read

11:32 PM on 06.08.2008

The great red experiment - DIY fix for a broken 360

I am among those who just couldn't wait - I had to get a first run XBOX360. I'm sure you
can all see where I'm going with this. Literally one month after the original warranty expired I saw visions of the three red ring-men of the apocalypse. Having no warranty to void at the time, I cracked it open and unsuccessfully tried arctic silver and towel tricks. Then I just replaced it and moved on.

Since I have nothing to lose, I've decided to revisit this quagmire and test out a product
designed to fix this failure. The X-Clamp-Fix from The Next Generation operates under the premise that Microsoft's x-clamp warps the CPU connections under high heat. I am skeptical of such a cheap item fixing 300 worth of hardware but I would love to be proven wrong!

Step 1: Open beer
It's dangerous to go alone, drink this.

Step 2: Disassemble the 360
I'm not going to attempt to explain the full disassembly, mine involved more akward poking and prying than a prom date. Others have done a better job.

Step 3: I'd mount that!
Mount the heatsink back on, with the new screws and washers.

According to the official instructions:

Step 5: Bake it!
Now, re-assemble the 360 enough so that you can put the top clamshell on it - making sure that the fans are disconnected. You'll want to cook it for 15 minutes. The machine will start with the 3 rings for the general fault, and then go into two rings when it is overheated. This overheating is part of the process of warping the board back into place.

Step 6: HEY NIKO!
It is well known that Nico Bellic is a bad mother-shut-your-mouth and he sticks up for his own. Apply him to your system to guard against Blu-rays and general misfortunes. If you don't have any stickers handy, ask cheeburga.

Step 7: Cool down
Now you just have to turn the system off let the components get back to room temperature. Make sure the fans are connected before closing it up.

Step 8: Live, damn you!
Pop in an old game and try booting up! If you are lucky like I was, then you'll be welcomed with the following comforting screen.

At this point my 360 was back up and running just as if I had towel tricked it. So far it has
been over 24 hours and I have left it on throughout, with occasional half hour cool downs
thrown in. I will keep you all posted with the progress, especially after I play through Lego Indiana Jones on this machine.

Verdict: Promising.   read

10:43 PM on 06.02.2008

Cincinnati Mega-NARP: THE MUSIC

It's already an established fact that the Cincinnati Mega NARP was epic - but the private show put on by talented Dtoiders GuitarAtomik (I KILL PXLS) and Cosbytron (Ryan Gorsuch) was a massive epicenter of unbridled win.

GuitarAtomik started off with a drama building Continue? intro busting into a the ranged vocals of Your Last Life. It was sometime during 3D Lover that the computer experienced an awesome overload and had to be reset. Once things were back up a few more rocking renditions of songs from Press Start were belted out, and then Cosbytron stepped up.

Cosbytron took the stage and rocked the house from the first song on with an AMAZING acoustic version of Karma Police. Ryan played an array of excellent covers and original songs including a badass rendition of U2's One. Ryan's offical myspace music page is at and you can find his Destructoid song at

And to top it off after all of our collective socks had been rocked off - GuitarAtomik busted out the Dtoid favorites The Destructoid Theme and I'm a shark. The sheer phallic power of the refrains "ALSO COOOOOCKS" and I'm a shaaark SUCK MY DIIIIIICK put a baby in every man, woman, and child in a ten-block radius, no joke.

Prepare for footage - the action was recorded by Puppet, who is actually a pretty nice guy!

P.S. The I KILL PXLS album: Press Start is Free! Download it now!   read

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