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acidtechnologic avatar 11:13 PM on 05.21.2013
The Next Gen is here!! behold the XB1!!1!1!!

Introducing the new Xbox One, the next generation console from Microsoft, who chose the "hardly distinguishable from our previous console from a past generation" naming scheme.
(Wii U).  Here is a picture:

So sleek, so modern looking.  I can't wait to get my hands on one.  Also, confirmed for the Xbox 1 is "Call of duty: Ghosts; dog is God spelled backwards", where you play as a brand new protagonist, code named "K-9":

With your fluffy main character maxing out at one trillion polygons per tooth, you'll really be sucked in by the originality and depth of story telling.  And although the adorable pooch will die (spoiler alert), your Xbone will have EXCLUSIVE DLC (doggy leash content) so you can keep on waggin that tail for the BRAND NEW kinect that needs to be on for your 1box to even function! :D
 
But don't worry!! This new Kinect will take pictures of you when you're mood is heightened by brand new exciting pizza hut ads so it can update your facebook profile picture and status for you, giving you an always online, always broadcasted experience just as we all want it.  (also there's a Halo TV show coming out or something.) Excited yet!!?? ;)

Oh, and apologies for all of you good folks in the service right now, or anyone who lives somewhere that has poor/limited bandwidth who would enjoy playing the next-one720; the next gen console needs to recognize an internet connection once a day, or else the system just won't work.  You know, it's kind of the same excuse EA gives whenever someone bitches about the always connected SimCity 5.  Also, THIS is why EA ditched the online pass, now they have the console watching the players FOR them.  Video. Fucking. Games. :|


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