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acidtechnologic avatar 8:49 PM on 05.16.2013  (server time)
Drunk List: What I (and you) want from Nintendo Direct 5/17.

Destructoid friends!  I'm sitting here in front of my computer, drinking a rum and ginger ale, slightly persperating in my gross apartment, and I'm unable to shower because my hot water isn't working.  I stew in my existential sweat, sipping my drink and rewatching Breaking Bad from season 1 in preparation for the finale.  Wait, what was I blogging aboOH YEAH NEW NINTENDO DIRECT TOMORROW FUCK YES here's a list of stuff because I'm bored and I hope you're just as bored as I am so you read this or something:


STEP 1: a summer's worth of Virtual Console Announcements

-_-obligatory picture of earthbound-_-

Hey Nintendo....I own a Super Mario game for each of my testicles. Instead of the mustachioed plumber dripfeed (no homo){a little homo},let's turn both the cold and hot knobs all the way open.  I want Super Castlevania, some Final Fantasy's (Final fantasies*?), some Megaman X's, Contras, Ghouls and Ghosts, Dragon Quests, hell, how about just hit that giant red button under Reggie's desk and magically convert all of what's already on the Wii Virtual Console to the Wii U Virtual Console.  I know it's there.

part 2- the Wrath of Khan: Pikmin 3 demo announcement to come out the next eShop update

Nintendo, throw us a bone.  All of us assholes who bought your system were under the impression that Pikmin 3 was coming out sooner than August 4th.  Give us a demo; you know, the one you played for us at e3 last year.  

3's company: Wonderful 101 release date that is sooner than I expected and makes me jubilant in the pants area

You know another reason I bought a Wii U so early? It's because I assumed Wonderful 101 would be in the damn system by now.  I love Platinum Games, I loved Platinum Games when they were called Clover Studio and lived in Capcom's basement.  LET ME BUY THIS GOD DAMN GAME BEFORE IT GETS TOO HOT IN MY APARTMENT TO PLAY VIDEOGAMES FOR LONGER THAN 10 MINUTES BEFORE HAVING TO SHOWER, PLEASE. oh right and speaking of which:

Lethal Weapon 4: Bayonetta 2 release date

How do you copy paste without right clicking again? You hold down the control key and press...something. anyway.

5 below: super sexy sneakpeak 80's montage of what we're going to see at e3

This is SO easy.  SO VERY easy.  But then again, last E3 Nintendo closed with a "fireworks display" from Nintendoland.  Let's hope this is the year Nintendo does the Wii U right.  Also, side note: spell check knows that "Nintendo" is a proper noun, and should be capitalized.  I guess they're not doomed after all.

666: Reggie's delicious hershey kiss nipples

Can something be Freudian AND intentional? hmm...

AND LUCKY 7: super special 3DS announcement that Zelda: LTTP2 is coming out in June!

I'd probably cream my pants if this happened.  Fuck...I'm a fanboy.

Wait, I creamed my pants anyway. CHEERS EVERYONE! Also this is the best thing I've ever written.

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