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4:33 PM on 12.04.2009

THIS IS A CATASTROPHE!







EVERYBODY SOUND THE ALARMS! WE ARE CURRENTLY ON DEFCON 5! EVERYBODY TO THE LIFERAFTS! WOMEN AND CHILDREN FIRST!

POKEMON GOLD/SILVER IS NOT ON THE LIST! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I REPEAT: THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!!   read


10:12 AM on 12.04.2009

10 Things I learned this week: It's Back Edition



Hi eveybody I am finally back after, what, 4 weeks? I haven't been doing this for a mixture of reasons which I won't go into but yes, I am finally back which means I haven't abandoned you. The good thing is I am now on winter vacation so now I have plenty of time to devote to blogging (especially since I can't find a goddamn job) and making some Dtoid Christmas stuff. Also, I plan on getting back into FNF starting tonight with L4D2. I haven't taken part in it for awhile so it will be nice to get back in.

1. I am a tad disappointed by MW2. They may have gotten rid of some of the irritating perks like Juggernaut but now the kill streak awards are just way overpowered. Now you can have multiple things in the air at once and one of the killstreaks (whose name I don't remember) makes it way too easy to rake in 25 kills to get the nuke. A nuke is something that should be really rare to get but I have come across 10 in 2 days and that is just fucking irritating, especially in non-kill based modes because it rewards people for not playing the game the way it is supposed to be played. The single player has also been a tad disappointing. Sure the levels are fun and there are some absolutely amazing moments but when it comes to stringing them together into a cohesive story Infinity Ward didn't do a very good job.

Special ops does make up for some of the short comings though.

2. L4D2 is great. The new levels, modes, weapons, and objectives are great but the new special infected is what elevates this game over the original. In the first one the Special Infected were actually really weak and it was rather difficult to incap an entire team because their abilities don't really play off one another. But with the additions of the Spitter, the Jockey, and the charger this changes. Each infected's ability plays perfectly off one another and it makes the multiplayer more intense and varied.

3. The Jockey is now my new favorite special infected. There is nothing quite as satisfying as running somebody off of a ledge.

3. Rochelle is a really lame character.

4. Buddha and Gyrael never named their pokemon. Goddamn heathens.

5. I need to go to swap meets in California more often. It is incredible some of the stuff I found Black Friday weekend. I managed to get my hands on Rival Schools and Parasite Eve which was awesome because I was looking for these for a long, long time.

6. Game Informer's top 200 games list is a bit, well, questionable. I mean, two of the games on the list were reviewed in the exact same issue. I understand that the list is essentially the writer's opinion but come on, Borderlands and COD6 came out really recently and is fresh in peoples minds. With all the other games they had the opportunity to look back on them after a year or so and see if they really were that good or how they affected the industry. They couldn't do that with these games and their addition just seems a little brash.

7. Moon Man is a really pathetic excuse for a human being. It's amazing how after being banned weeks ago he still comes back with alternate accounts to threaten people.

8. Until a little while ago the forums didn't have a Pokemon thread. YOU DISGUST ME FORUMS!

9. Zombutler has a somewhat creepy obsession with January Jones or whatever that chick's name is.

10. I'm really interested in trying out Adon in SSF4.   read


10:01 AM on 11.12.2009

Aborto Rants: or how the problem with game reviews doesn't actually exist.



Why hello there fellow Dtoiders. Why don't you sit down right there. Yes, next to the fireplace should be fine. Now, are you comfortable? Good. I have invited you hear to discuss something that has been discussed quite a bit right here on the internet. Something that I guess you can argue is very important to the videogame industry. That, my friends, is videogame reviews. People have argued about this here numerous times in the past. What is wrong with them and what can be done to fix them. Well my friends, I would like to take a difference stance here today. I would like to argue that there is in fact nothing wrong with todays reviews. That the problem is with people.

Let me ask you a question: when was the last time you opened up a magazine or a newspaper and looked at a review for a movie? Did it get 2 stars? Did it get 3? 4? And after looking at that did you immediately think "wow, that is an arbitrary and bullshit way to rate something" ? This seems to be the common argument people have when talking about videogame review scores. That the review scale that websites and magazines use to rate games make very little sense and can be confusing. Now, I have to admit some ways of reviewing work better than others but when it comes down to this I don't believe what people say. I guarantee somewhere on the website or in the magazine they have something to explain how their reviews work. what each rating means and how each rating corresponds to one another. So there really should be no reason for somebody to be confused by what a reviewer means by a 7 or a 5. Yes, each website has different ideas of what each number or rating means but if people actually take time to read the website this shouldn't be a problem.

There is also a problem with the fact that people look at that number and automatically think that is the review when it fact it isn't. That little number after all that text is meant to be a summary, something that puts everything said in the review into perspective. A score is something that is meant to accompany a review, NOT replace it. What you should be looking at is the actual review, something that seems to escape a lot of people. Somebody took the time to write all that for a reason, and if that review really is going to affect whether or not you are going to purchase said game then the very least you can do is take 5 minutes and read the damn thing. Hell, if you are really that lazy at the very least you could read the last paragraph of the review and look at the score. That should give you a better idea of the jist of the review then just looking at the score.

But when you really get down to it the problem is people look at all reviews. They head over to metacritic and rotten tomatoes or whatever website throws together reviews all in one place. You should not be doing that. You should be reading one or two. The beauty of all these reviews floating around is that there will always be someone who has an opinion that is close to yours. You should be going to websites, reading reviews and figuring out who you trust the most, and when you need help on deciding whether or not to buy something than you can go look at their review. After all the time I have spent on Destructoid, I trust Jim's and Grim's reviews the most and I will look to them when I can't decide whether or not to buy something. This is because after reading all their reviews I realize their taste in games are closest to mine. Scrolling through reviews on metacritic isn't going to work because for all you know, those people don't like the type of games you like.

I also think that a large part of why people think this problem exists are the incredible numbers of comments of people complaining about the score on the front page of Destructoid or on other sites. But the fact is you shouldn't pay attention to people such as that and they should not affect how you feel about review scores. People who get upset about a number being put next to the name of a game they like are going to get upset no matter how somebody reviews a game. The way games are reviewed should not be changed on their account.

The problem with game reviews today have nothing to do with the reviews today but with how people choose to perceive them.

And before I leave you today I would like to give you one more important piece of advice:

  read


10:32 AM on 11.06.2009

10 Things I learned this Week: Communism was just a Red Herring Edition


read number nine

Hello everybody. How are all you dickbags doing this glorious day? I was going to do one last week but the only really notable thing that happened on Destructoid was so full of fail that I didn't want to bring any more attention to it. That, and I'm lazy. As you probably would have noticed by now. Anyway here we go again.........

1. God of War 3 is looking really good. I knew I would have to get a PS3 when this game comes out but hot damn, the video of the demo has hired my expectations. That being said I would like it if they would stop using the same damn ideas for magic abilities. They have overused the "ripping off somebodies head and using it as a weapon" as well as the magic bow shit. It would be nice if they made a completely different magic ability. At least ripping off Helios's head was badass.

2. Borderlands is really goddamn addicting. It has been a long time since I have played a game where I was rushing home after classes or work to play it.

3. The forums now have more Journalism then ever before

4. Apparently there is going to be a PSP version of Blazblue. I highly doubt I will pick it up though, unless it has new content. Or if it has Jubei. If it has Jubei I will buy that fucker into a coma.

5. Podtoid finally did there commentary of Resident Evil. Took them long enough.

6. Resident Evil Apocalypse is as much fail as I remember it being. I decided to watch it to get ready for ResidentEvilToid and I still am not entirely sure what I was on when I decided that was a good idea. Although I was surprised to notice that Jill wasn't the only character from the Resident Evil series that made it into the movie. I never noticed this before but Carlos, Yuri, and Nikolai are in it as well as the Ashford's. Even though they changed the first names of the Ashford's and Alexia is now a 6 year old girl. Although what they did to Nemesis takes away from this fan service. It amazes me how much money they spent on explosions yet they couldn't afford a decent costume or special effects for the Nemesis.

7. What they are adding to the online features for Super Street Fighter 4 has got me even more excited. Especially since I found the original SF4's online to be somewhat lacking

8. Everything around COD:MW2 is making me facepalm so hard right now. You would think people would wait to play the actual game before deciding that the airport scene is the worst/best thing ever.

9. Topher is wrong. Akira Kazama is CLEARLY better then Hinata Wakaba

10. The forums are no longer full of fail   read


8:49 AM on 10.23.2009

10 things I learned this week: So tired Edition

[embed]152879:24030[/embed]

Hello folks I'm back. Unfortunately. The reason for the lack of posts is, well, I was tired. I have been doing these posts for almost 2 years straight and I have to admit I have grown a little tired of it. Usually I would just suck it up and just pull stuff out of my ass at the last minute but I just couldn't do it this time. I have considered discontinuing this in the past but this time I have never been this close to actually doing it. The thing is I would like to make more posts like I used to do but whenever I sit down to write a non-10 things posts I get distracted by my 10 things posts because I sort of feel an obligation to make them. I have nowhere near the amount of time I did back when I started off here so I really don't have the time to make a shit ton of blogs. Now, I am not saying I will stop doing this, just that I might make it less frequent, like once every 2 weeks so I have the time to pump out another blog that isn't a list.

Anyway enough with the drama. God knows there has been enough in the forums this week.

1. The fact that Podtoid keeps pushing back their commentary of the Resident Evil movie is driving is driving me insane.

2. Borderlands is the tits. Seriously, this game is fucking amazing. Anybody with a connection to the internet and a love of First Person Shooters must buy this game.

3. Snaileb has way too much free time on his hands.

4. Double Downing is a very painful experience. Goddamn my need for forum badges! Well, the good news is I got the badge, the bad news is I will be dead by the end of the week.

Also screw you guys who said I didn't double down. I used fucking whole cheeseburgers for buns for Christ sakes! If Hamza can wrap a burger in a pizza and call it doubling downing I can call that double downing.

5. The bar is full of a bunch of pansies.

6. The Left 4 Dead 2 trailer is absolutely amazing. Anybody who hasn't seen it I highly reccomend you go do so.

7. I have come to the Conclusion that Blehman died a horrible death. Where the hell did that motherfucker go?

8. Q from SF3 is a badass.

[embed]152029:24010[/embed]

9. Oberoi is officially the best newbie in the forums

10. Anthony Burch is an asshole   read


4:59 PM on 10.21.2009

Let's see you top this douchebags (doubling down)



Fried Fish patty

+



Cheeseburger

+



Another Cheeseburger

=





Now you will have to excuse me, I am going to go crawl into bed and die.   read


11:49 AM on 10.02.2009

Aborto rants or how how Capcom is screwing up a golden opportunity

I am a big fan of Capcom. Some of my favorite characters, series, and games have come out of their work. I have always liked what they have done and I have always appreciated all the stuff they have done for their fans. Hell, this year has been one surprise after another what with MVC2, Tatsunoko Vs. Capcom coming to America with extra characters and the announcement of Super Street Fighter 4 makes this a good year to be a fan of Capcoms games but there is one thing that has bothered me about this year.



15 years ago Capcom started a series that has become my favorite fighting game series. That series is the Darkstalkers series. Alot of people like Street Fighter, King of Fighters, and Guilty Gear but I have always considered Darkstalkers the best of the best. The characters in it I consider some of the best designed and balanced fighting characters in the genre but I am getting ahead of myself. This year, as I have stated earlier, marks Darkstalkers 15th anniversary and what with Capcom having a habit of doing something for the anniversaries of their most popular franchises I was expecting them to do something special. But now the majority of 09 is behind us and Capcom hasn't done a thing. They haven't released an arcade stick, a gamepad, or even a measly T-shirt. Hell, I probably wouldn't have even know that this year was Darkstalker's 15th anniversary if Udon hadn't done the Darkstalkers tribute. But what dissapoints me the most is that they didn't announce a new game in the series.

Now, you are probably thinking this is just me being a bitter fanboy but I really think there is alot that Capcom could have taken advantage of to bring more people into the series. The Darkstalkers series has always been sort of a cult classic and probably doesn't have anywhere near the following Street Fighter or King of Fighters has but with all the fighting games coming out this year they could have introduced a lot of fighting fans to the franchise.

If there is one thing I know about crossovers it is that it can easily introduce people to new franchises. Back when the original Super Smash Brothers came out I knew nothing about alot of the Nintendo characters. In particular Kirby, I had never heard about Kirby until SSB and I really liked him in SSB so I wanted to know where he came from. Not long after Kirby and the Crystal Shards came out and I have been a fan ever since. Now, i'm not an analyst nor will I ever pretend to be, but it doesn't take a genius to grasp that crossovers are a good way to introduce people to something new. And with two games coming out this year containing Darkstalkers characters and this being its anniversary I figured Capcom would take advantage of this, but they haven't. I'm positive if they did announce something it would garner alot of interest as people recognize Felicia from MVC2 and Morrigan from TVC so why isn't capcom doing this?


a rerelease of this on XBLA would be so awesome

I've always wanted another Darkstalker's game but I never felt Capcom would dig it out and do something with it. I figured however that after Street Fighter got a revival and all the other stuff that they did in the fighting genre this year that if they ever were going to announce making this game it would have been this year's TGS, but instead they announce Super Street Fighter 4. Don't get me wrong, I am really excited for SSF4 and I can't wait until they announce the new characters, but I can't help but feel dissapointed that they didn't do something else.

Of course, the year isn't over yet and I can still hold out hope that they will announce something around Halloween but it just seems unlikely. I guess just more then anything I just wish that Capcom would do something to celebrate the release of one of my favorite series. So far the only thing that has been done was Udon releasing the Darkstalkers Tribute book. Some may argue that that is Capcom's contribution but last I checked Udon wasn't Capcom and them giving Udon permission to do something they wanted to do isn't much of a celebration. I just wish Capcom would do something and I thought the best way to have celebrated its anniversary was announcing something to bring people to the series and all I have to say is that it is a shame that Capcom hasn't done something for Darkstalkers.

/rant   read


9:38 AM on 10.02.2009

10 Things I learned this week: Done at the last minute Edition



1. I am really excited for Super Street Fighter 4. I would have prefered Darkstalkers 4 but I am pretty sure people are tired of hearing me bitch about it by now. Anything that brings me back to Street Fighter 4 after abondoning it for MVC2 is a good thing.

2. I am really goddamn pissed off at the announcement that the second new character in the revamped Blazblue is Hazama. Goddamn it I wanted Jubei, not some jackass that looks like an amalgamation of every anime villain ever created. They made such a big deal out of Jubei in Blazblue's shitty story that I couldn't help but want to play as him and now they have denied me that. Goddamn it.

3. I just wasted money on the Crash Course DLC for Left 4 Dead. No I'm not saying it sucks or anything, I just realized after buying it that I lost my copy of L4D in the move into my new dorm. I could probably buy a new copy for 30 to 40 bucks but that is kind of pointless when I am no doubt going to ditch it in a month for L4D2. God fucking damn it.

4. A sprite based gamecube game looks really friggin ugly on a HDTV.

5. Kiranio is a pussy. Also, I have found a new calling in life: giving people a hard time over stupid stuff.

6. I have just realized that their hasn't been a Failcast in a while. What happened? Was Necros burned to death? Was King arrested for being a pedo? Was Yashoki deported? Has Hitogoroshi come down with Alzheimer's?

7. Adam Dork wasted his chicken nuggets. You have 160 chicken nuggets and all you did was sit around your house and then overlayed the video with Pulp Fiction clips? You disgust me Dork, you absolutely appal me.

8. The Cleveland show is a bit shit.

9. The Point Lookout DLC for Fallout 3 is pretty cool, although I think Bethesda may have Maryland confused with Louisianna.

10. Juri looks more like a Final Fantasy character than a Street Fighter character.   read


8:23 AM on 09.25.2009

10 Things I learned this week: the Goddamn Batman Edition

[embed]149702:22944[/embed]

I'm back bitches. I didn't make a post last week because of a lack of things I learned. Which is Ironic seeing as last week was my first week of classes. I guess I could have pulled something together but I was too busy playing Arkham Asylum so fuck all of you.

Oh and thanks for the birthday post last week Blehman. Luv you meng.

1. I must have Blazblue Continuum shift. I don't care if they decide to make it into an entirely new game I need it. The promise of new ways to curse people with Arakune and two new characters is enough for me. I can't wait until they announce the other character. Here's hoping that it's Jubei.

2. Batman: Arkham Asylum is outstanding. Yeah, I know that I am a little late to the party but due to certain circumstances I wasn't able to get it until a little over a week ago. I finally have a Batman game that's good.

3. The boss battles in Batman Arkham Asylum are really dissapointing. Especially since all of them are copies of the bane Boss battle, with the exception of Ivy that is.

4. I have just been sold on Dante's Inferno. The demo at Pax was great but the promise of demon babies that come out of giant breasts is so awesome I must have it.

5. Samit is getting alot of abuse in podtoid as of late, even more than usual. And I love it.

6. The addition of Frank West in Tatsunoko vs. Capcom is the best thing ever. I thought him being added to the game was cool when it was leaked but you don't really appreciate how cool it is until you see it in action. I think I am going to have a new main. Sorry Karas, but you can't beat that servebot helmet super.

7. I need to check the resolution of images before I upload stuff to Destructoid. The artwork I uploaded looked awfully fuzzy after I published the blog.

8. Crackdown looks interesting, although the whole freaks things seems an awful lot like Prototype.

9. The second Atom bomb dropped on Japan was a conspiracy so Samit couldn't get any asian poontang.

10. Adam dork can never have enough chicken nuggets.   read


4:56 PM on 09.24.2009

Aborto's sketchbook Part 2: Yojimbo, Blehman, and other stuff

Alright, it has been awhile since I have done this, mainly because I didn't have access to a good scanner and I was doing other stuff over the summer that was preventing me from putting up more of my artwork. Well finally, here is a new edition of aborto's sketchbook. I can tell you are very excited.

However keep in mind that these are rough and I haven't had time to go over them and clean them up in photoshop so it is possible you will see some pencil marks and smudges so keep that in mind.



I know Yojimbo likes people drawing pictures of samurai's for him, and I have always promised to make him one, but never got around to it until now. I was going to give it to him at PAX, I mounted it and everything, but the motherfucker didn't end up coming. FUUUUUUUUU!



Another one I always meant on doing but never really amounted to anything other than random sketches in class notes. I finally decided to sit down and do it after PAX though. The idea was that it was some sort of spoiled milkshake monster coming out of the cup, but I don't think that comes of very well. Oh well, the colors are pretty so there is always that.









Stuff done on the plane ride to PAX. I wanted a new avatar and I wanted it to be something pokemon related so I was just screwing around. If somebody wants to resize one of them and use them as an avatar that's fine by me, but nobody can use Sagatachu! he is fucking mine so keep your gruppy hands off of him!

Next on the agenda: More Dtoid community member drawings, a banner for drunkcast (not because they asked but because I feel like it damn it), and a coonskin plushie. see you next time I finally decide to upload stuff!   read


2:29 PM on 09.10.2009

10 Things I learned this week: PAX Edition

This is going up a little early since I will not be available to put this up tomorrow.

[embed]148183:22390[/embed]

I was right to the left of Dyganth when he filmed this. You can see my hands in the corner of the screen
and you can hear me singing off key like a jackass.

Yeah bitches, PAX has come and gone and I have to say it was damn awesome. Significantly less awesome because I wasn't getting drunk with everybody but still bloody awesome. On the other hand, I remember things that were probably a blur for everybody else, that way I can blackmail you all later. That being said, I have some highlights of the weekend I would like throw out there before I go into the other stuff:

1. Anthony inadvertantly calling Niero a fucking nobody at the HAWP panel

2. The Destructoid panel and Chad's song at the end

3. Me causing BPG to rage quit our match of Tatsunoko vs. Capcom.

4. Everybody breaking out singing "a whole new world" randomly in a bar.

5. Samit being presented his birthday cake.

6. Kryptinite accidentally eating one of the candles off of Samit's cake

The last one was particularly funny. And he didn't spit it out when he realized what it was because he's a man! Unlike all you sissy men who would have probably spit it out. anyway, let's do this!


1. Analogue is a very silly drunk

2. Necros finally started Deadspace! Fucking finally, took him long enough.

3. I am garbage at Blazblue on an arcade stick. I have always known I wasn't that good on arcade sticks but I didn't think I was that bad. I couldn't use any of my combos for Arakune damn it!

4. I am really fucking good at Tatsunoko vs. Capcom. This is probably the only exception that I have ever come across where I am actually good with an arcade stick. It was really a great experience going on a winning streak in an arcade because that has never happened to me before.

5. Pokemon Rumble is going to be badass. It is basically Dynasty Warriors with Pokemon and you can switch between any of the original 150 on the fly. And what makes it even more awesome is that it is a Wiiware game so it will be cheap.

6. The jockey in L4D2 is one creepy ass motherfucker.

7. Dungeon Fighter online actually looks pretty fun. Which I find surprising.

8. It is really fun pestering debloo about PAX

9. I need the Marvel vs. Capcom 2 arcade stick. I don't care that I am shit with them. that thing looks fucking amazing.

10. I really hope that the believed character leak is not true for Tatsunoko vs. Capcom. Frank West is awesome but fuck all those other characters, especially zero. The game already has two Megaman characters, it doesn't need a fucking third. I wanted Nemesis damn it!

Anywho, I hope to see you guys at PAX next year!   read


10:06 AM on 08.28.2009

10 Things I learned this week: Butt is going to kick your ass Edition



Before I get down to it there are some things I want to get out of the way. One, I am making a talking Drunkcast Coonskin plushie and I was wondering what Coonskin quote people wanted him to say. And two, I will not be making a post next week because of PAX.

Anyway......

1. Garou Mark of the Wolves is the sexy time

2. Khusnood Butt is now one of my new favorite fighting game characters. He is a black karate master with a pompadour that eats fried chicken and fights bears, which is unbelievably badass.

3. Section 8 is a pile of shit. At least that is what the demo leads me to believe. It is like Quake Wars but even more boring to play, which is saying something because Quake Wars was really fucking boring. At least Quake Wars had interesting mechs or interesting Strogg classes. This is just Halo with levels that are so damn big that you can go minutes without coming across an enemy.

4. Wet looks pretty damn good. It's like a Stranglehold that doesn't suck. That being said I am going to remain skeptical. The demo for Stranglehold was awesome but the game just turned out to be that 10 minutes in the demo repeated over and over again for 10 hours. That and I can see some aspects of it being really annoying, like that stupid animation that occurs after everytime you drink beer to regain life.

5. Left 4 Dead 2 is going to be playable at PAX. I don't know about you, but I am not even going to bother. The line for it at Comic Con was long and I would imagine this one would be pretty damn long as well.

6. That the the rest of Bioshock after killing Ryan in Bioshock is really half-assed. I was playing through it for the second time and I decided to play through for the evil ending just for the hell of it since I got the good ending the first run through and even though I killed every goddamn Little Sister Tenenbaum still saves me. I guess it makes a little sense, she wants to get rid of Fontaine, but what doesn't make sense is how her hideout was filled with cured Little Sisters. The first time around it made sense, they were all the little sisters I saved but this time it didn't make sense. It's like they just intended you to be good and didn't bother to change how the game turns out other than those bogus cutscenes at the end. What especially bugs me is that you get turned into a Big Daddy, yet they don't change the characters model. Your characters hands stay the same even though you should be wearing a big daddy suit.

7. It would seem they are considering making a District 9 sequel, which baffles me. I think they ended it perfectly, why fuck that up. Unless it has nothing to do with District 9 and is just based in that Universe which would be pretty badass.

8. This FNF is going to be another Tumbleweed Edition

9. Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland looks like Fail

10. The community has lost their fucking balls. I have been meaning to write about this for quite some time Juggernat's blog finally made me realize it needed to be said. Why the fuck is everybody being so nice to newbies who fail? I can understand being nice and telling them what they are doing is wrong but very few people are doing that. How the hell are they going to know what they are doing is wrong if nobody bloody explains it to them? What we did in the past may seem dickish but it fucking worked, I am proof of that. If I wasn't flamed I would have just kept on doing the bullshit I did in my first blog post and even though it made me really angry at the time I am grateful somebody called me out on it. People need to stop being so bloody nice.   read


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