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aborto thefetus's blog

3:18 PM on 01.22.2010


Alright, another Friday Night another Friday Night Fights that I can't participate in because of other stuff I am doing. FUUUUUUUUU! Oh well, that doesn't mean you guys can't have fun. Anyway we have three hosts tonight as well as Power Glove is doing something as well. And as far as disturbing images go I am going to give you a break this week. Not because I am a nice guy but because yesterday I stumbled across a very disturbing image while searching for a new forums avatar. I have no problem searching through disturbing images to gross people out but I have to be prepared for it. I don't like it when after scrolling through several pictures of cute little pokemon and then happen across a Lickitung fucking itself. IT CANNOT BE UNSEEN!

So this week you get.......


Modern Warfare 2

Left4Dead 2 - Versus
9pm EST

Tekken 6
8 pm central
Rez4Lyf   read

1:07 PM on 01.15.2010

360 FNF: I have a new goal in life Edition

Aaaah, remember the good ol' days when Blehman would make FNF posts with disturbing images in them? Good times, Good times. Well, after a couple of weeks of half assing these posts I have come to the decision to from now on make Grim's job of looking through this as painful and disturbing as possible, along with anybody who has the misfortune to open this post at work. Goddamn I'm a dick aren't I?

Battlefield Bad Company
9 Central

L4D2 Versus

Tekken 6
8 pm central

9 Eastern

And remember to check us out in the forums.

Oh and Grim? It's only going to get worse from here on out. Next week your are getting Digimon porn.   read

1:12 PM on 01.08.2010

360 FNF: Januaury 8th

Hello there cockbags, and welcome to another Friday Night Fights, we have a good line up of hosts and stuff for this Friday so if you want to join in us make sure to send a message to one of the hosts to get in on it and make sure to check the FNF forums every once and awhile.

Left 4 Dead 2 - Preferably versus mode, if we can get enough people.
9pm EST

MW2 (ranked)
10:30/11-ish, EST
Jon Bloodspray

Street Fighter HD Remix/Marvel vs. Capcom 2
9pm EST

TMNT 1989 Arcade/Streets of Rage 2/Castle Crashers/Puzzle Fighter HD/Metal Slug 3/Splosion Man
(depending on interest, let me know)
8pm EST
ShinigamiBV   read

11:00 AM on 01.01.2010

360 FNF: 2010 Edition

Alright, it's now an entirely new year folks. Did you have fun last night? Did you get drunk of your ass? Do you know have a tremendous hangover? Well tough shit! Get ready for some ass kicking tonight.

Modern Warfare 2
GT: asbestosSNDWICH
11:00 EST

I was originally going to host around 9:00 but shit happened and I needed to push it back. I will try to get on around 10:00 but if I fail at that I should definitely be back around 11.

Left 4 Dead 2
9pm est.

MvC2 - 5pm PST
Virtua Fighter 5 - 7pm

Nils is bored so do me a favor and kick his pansy ass.

Modern Warfare 2
Blue Ryd3r
12AM (pacific time)
then later at 3PM   read

8:17 AM on 12.18.2009

360 FNF: It's amazing what you will find on the internet Edition

Alright bitches, ready to get your ass kicked before christmas? Because I'm ready to dole out some ass kicking. My christmas present to all you bitches. Tonight, I will be hosting some Left for Dead 2 so to get in the mood I found some images involving two of everybodies favorite infected.

aborto thefetus
Game: L4D2
Time: 9:00 EST
GT: asbestosSNDWICH

depending on how I feel I may switch over to MW2 later on

John Bloodspray
Game: L4D1
Time: ask him
GT: Jon Bloodspray

Game: COD:MW2
Time: 9/10 Central
GT: TroutPhishMan

And if I don't get the chance later I hope you bitches have a Merry Christmas


9:54 AM on 12.11.2009

360 FNF: Blehman Doesn't Love You

Hello everybody. Your old pal Aborto is going to be taking control of the FNF posts in the Cblogs now. Why? Because fuck that Blehman guy that's why!

For those of you who are new or have been living in a hole FNF is where all us Dtoiders get together on fridays and play games together. So if you want to join or host a game you can leave your gamertag here or go the thread in the forums. If you want to host just remember to leave what time you are going to be on.

GT: Zombutler
9:00 PM EST

Zombutler will be hosting a big 18 player lobby to make sure everybody can get in on the action.

KD Alpha
1 vs. 100 live, Street Fighter 4
GT: MichelleMata85
9:00 PM Central, 11:00 PM Central

Unfortunately that is all we have this week. A little disappointing but what are you going to do?   read

4:33 PM on 12.04.2009




10:12 AM on 12.04.2009

10 Things I learned this week: It's Back Edition

Hi eveybody I am finally back after, what, 4 weeks? I haven't been doing this for a mixture of reasons which I won't go into but yes, I am finally back which means I haven't abandoned you. The good thing is I am now on winter vacation so now I have plenty of time to devote to blogging (especially since I can't find a goddamn job) and making some Dtoid Christmas stuff. Also, I plan on getting back into FNF starting tonight with L4D2. I haven't taken part in it for awhile so it will be nice to get back in.

1. I am a tad disappointed by MW2. They may have gotten rid of some of the irritating perks like Juggernaut but now the kill streak awards are just way overpowered. Now you can have multiple things in the air at once and one of the killstreaks (whose name I don't remember) makes it way too easy to rake in 25 kills to get the nuke. A nuke is something that should be really rare to get but I have come across 10 in 2 days and that is just fucking irritating, especially in non-kill based modes because it rewards people for not playing the game the way it is supposed to be played. The single player has also been a tad disappointing. Sure the levels are fun and there are some absolutely amazing moments but when it comes to stringing them together into a cohesive story Infinity Ward didn't do a very good job.

Special ops does make up for some of the short comings though.

2. L4D2 is great. The new levels, modes, weapons, and objectives are great but the new special infected is what elevates this game over the original. In the first one the Special Infected were actually really weak and it was rather difficult to incap an entire team because their abilities don't really play off one another. But with the additions of the Spitter, the Jockey, and the charger this changes. Each infected's ability plays perfectly off one another and it makes the multiplayer more intense and varied.

3. The Jockey is now my new favorite special infected. There is nothing quite as satisfying as running somebody off of a ledge.

3. Rochelle is a really lame character.

4. Buddha and Gyrael never named their pokemon. Goddamn heathens.

5. I need to go to swap meets in California more often. It is incredible some of the stuff I found Black Friday weekend. I managed to get my hands on Rival Schools and Parasite Eve which was awesome because I was looking for these for a long, long time.

6. Game Informer's top 200 games list is a bit, well, questionable. I mean, two of the games on the list were reviewed in the exact same issue. I understand that the list is essentially the writer's opinion but come on, Borderlands and COD6 came out really recently and is fresh in peoples minds. With all the other games they had the opportunity to look back on them after a year or so and see if they really were that good or how they affected the industry. They couldn't do that with these games and their addition just seems a little brash.

7. Moon Man is a really pathetic excuse for a human being. It's amazing how after being banned weeks ago he still comes back with alternate accounts to threaten people.

8. Until a little while ago the forums didn't have a Pokemon thread. YOU DISGUST ME FORUMS!

9. Zombutler has a somewhat creepy obsession with January Jones or whatever that chick's name is.

10. I'm really interested in trying out Adon in SSF4.   read

10:01 AM on 11.12.2009

Aborto Rants: or how the problem with game reviews doesn't actually exist.

Why hello there fellow Dtoiders. Why don't you sit down right there. Yes, next to the fireplace should be fine. Now, are you comfortable? Good. I have invited you hear to discuss something that has been discussed quite a bit right here on the internet. Something that I guess you can argue is very important to the videogame industry. That, my friends, is videogame reviews. People have argued about this here numerous times in the past. What is wrong with them and what can be done to fix them. Well my friends, I would like to take a difference stance here today. I would like to argue that there is in fact nothing wrong with todays reviews. That the problem is with people.

Let me ask you a question: when was the last time you opened up a magazine or a newspaper and looked at a review for a movie? Did it get 2 stars? Did it get 3? 4? And after looking at that did you immediately think "wow, that is an arbitrary and bullshit way to rate something" ? This seems to be the common argument people have when talking about videogame review scores. That the review scale that websites and magazines use to rate games make very little sense and can be confusing. Now, I have to admit some ways of reviewing work better than others but when it comes down to this I don't believe what people say. I guarantee somewhere on the website or in the magazine they have something to explain how their reviews work. what each rating means and how each rating corresponds to one another. So there really should be no reason for somebody to be confused by what a reviewer means by a 7 or a 5. Yes, each website has different ideas of what each number or rating means but if people actually take time to read the website this shouldn't be a problem.

There is also a problem with the fact that people look at that number and automatically think that is the review when it fact it isn't. That little number after all that text is meant to be a summary, something that puts everything said in the review into perspective. A score is something that is meant to accompany a review, NOT replace it. What you should be looking at is the actual review, something that seems to escape a lot of people. Somebody took the time to write all that for a reason, and if that review really is going to affect whether or not you are going to purchase said game then the very least you can do is take 5 minutes and read the damn thing. Hell, if you are really that lazy at the very least you could read the last paragraph of the review and look at the score. That should give you a better idea of the jist of the review then just looking at the score.

But when you really get down to it the problem is people look at all reviews. They head over to metacritic and rotten tomatoes or whatever website throws together reviews all in one place. You should not be doing that. You should be reading one or two. The beauty of all these reviews floating around is that there will always be someone who has an opinion that is close to yours. You should be going to websites, reading reviews and figuring out who you trust the most, and when you need help on deciding whether or not to buy something than you can go look at their review. After all the time I have spent on Destructoid, I trust Jim's and Grim's reviews the most and I will look to them when I can't decide whether or not to buy something. This is because after reading all their reviews I realize their taste in games are closest to mine. Scrolling through reviews on metacritic isn't going to work because for all you know, those people don't like the type of games you like.

I also think that a large part of why people think this problem exists are the incredible numbers of comments of people complaining about the score on the front page of Destructoid or on other sites. But the fact is you shouldn't pay attention to people such as that and they should not affect how you feel about review scores. People who get upset about a number being put next to the name of a game they like are going to get upset no matter how somebody reviews a game. The way games are reviewed should not be changed on their account.

The problem with game reviews today have nothing to do with the reviews today but with how people choose to perceive them.

And before I leave you today I would like to give you one more important piece of advice:


10:32 AM on 11.06.2009

10 Things I learned this Week: Communism was just a Red Herring Edition

read number nine

Hello everybody. How are all you dickbags doing this glorious day? I was going to do one last week but the only really notable thing that happened on Destructoid was so full of fail that I didn't want to bring any more attention to it. That, and I'm lazy. As you probably would have noticed by now. Anyway here we go again.........

1. God of War 3 is looking really good. I knew I would have to get a PS3 when this game comes out but hot damn, the video of the demo has hired my expectations. That being said I would like it if they would stop using the same damn ideas for magic abilities. They have overused the "ripping off somebodies head and using it as a weapon" as well as the magic bow shit. It would be nice if they made a completely different magic ability. At least ripping off Helios's head was badass.

2. Borderlands is really goddamn addicting. It has been a long time since I have played a game where I was rushing home after classes or work to play it.

3. The forums now have more Journalism then ever before

4. Apparently there is going to be a PSP version of Blazblue. I highly doubt I will pick it up though, unless it has new content. Or if it has Jubei. If it has Jubei I will buy that fucker into a coma.

5. Podtoid finally did there commentary of Resident Evil. Took them long enough.

6. Resident Evil Apocalypse is as much fail as I remember it being. I decided to watch it to get ready for ResidentEvilToid and I still am not entirely sure what I was on when I decided that was a good idea. Although I was surprised to notice that Jill wasn't the only character from the Resident Evil series that made it into the movie. I never noticed this before but Carlos, Yuri, and Nikolai are in it as well as the Ashford's. Even though they changed the first names of the Ashford's and Alexia is now a 6 year old girl. Although what they did to Nemesis takes away from this fan service. It amazes me how much money they spent on explosions yet they couldn't afford a decent costume or special effects for the Nemesis.

7. What they are adding to the online features for Super Street Fighter 4 has got me even more excited. Especially since I found the original SF4's online to be somewhat lacking

8. Everything around COD:MW2 is making me facepalm so hard right now. You would think people would wait to play the actual game before deciding that the airport scene is the worst/best thing ever.

9. Topher is wrong. Akira Kazama is CLEARLY better then Hinata Wakaba

10. The forums are no longer full of fail   read

8:49 AM on 10.23.2009

10 things I learned this week: So tired Edition


Hello folks I'm back. Unfortunately. The reason for the lack of posts is, well, I was tired. I have been doing these posts for almost 2 years straight and I have to admit I have grown a little tired of it. Usually I would just suck it up and just pull stuff out of my ass at the last minute but I just couldn't do it this time. I have considered discontinuing this in the past but this time I have never been this close to actually doing it. The thing is I would like to make more posts like I used to do but whenever I sit down to write a non-10 things posts I get distracted by my 10 things posts because I sort of feel an obligation to make them. I have nowhere near the amount of time I did back when I started off here so I really don't have the time to make a shit ton of blogs. Now, I am not saying I will stop doing this, just that I might make it less frequent, like once every 2 weeks so I have the time to pump out another blog that isn't a list.

Anyway enough with the drama. God knows there has been enough in the forums this week.

1. The fact that Podtoid keeps pushing back their commentary of the Resident Evil movie is driving is driving me insane.

2. Borderlands is the tits. Seriously, this game is fucking amazing. Anybody with a connection to the internet and a love of First Person Shooters must buy this game.

3. Snaileb has way too much free time on his hands.

4. Double Downing is a very painful experience. Goddamn my need for forum badges! Well, the good news is I got the badge, the bad news is I will be dead by the end of the week.

Also screw you guys who said I didn't double down. I used fucking whole cheeseburgers for buns for Christ sakes! If Hamza can wrap a burger in a pizza and call it doubling downing I can call that double downing.

5. The bar is full of a bunch of pansies.

6. The Left 4 Dead 2 trailer is absolutely amazing. Anybody who hasn't seen it I highly reccomend you go do so.

7. I have come to the Conclusion that Blehman died a horrible death. Where the hell did that motherfucker go?

8. Q from SF3 is a badass.


9. Oberoi is officially the best newbie in the forums

10. Anthony Burch is an asshole   read

4:59 PM on 10.21.2009

Let's see you top this douchebags (doubling down)

Fried Fish patty




Another Cheeseburger


Now you will have to excuse me, I am going to go crawl into bed and die.   read

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