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5:32 PM on 02.12.2015

1+ year as a PC gamer

Although the SNES was not my first console, I always think of it first when I remember my early days in video games. I also remember that my first game, besides Super Mario World, was Super Ghouls 'n Ghosts. I still haven't beat it (I tried again with the PSP version), but I did everything in Super Mario World, including the Special World. It seems so hard now, I've no idea how I did it back then.

I don't remember much else in depth, except for Final Fantasy 6 (or III as my beautiful Mog box read) , which I replayed several times over the years. It is one of my favorite and most played games. I remember distinctively learning that Final Fantasy 7 would be Playstation exclusive and how different Nintendo would be without Squaresoft games. They alone gave us Chrono Trigger, Secret of Mana and Super Mario RPG, among other classics. Remember the Multitap? We needed that so three could play Secret of Mana, while others would wait for their turn completely immersed, screaming at the TV.


Yes, this was a thing that happend.

Now, I'm not one of these guys that says that everything was better back them, but if you experienced that as I did, it is hard not to say that the SNES years were the golden age of gaming, if there was ever one. We played Earthbound, Donkey Kong Country, Mega Man X, Super Contra 3, Super Mario Kart and Super Metroid. We played A Link To The Past, the best Zelda game that will ever be (yes, I said it!).We played Street Fighter 2, Final Fight 2 and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (they were huge back them) the games that we saw on the arcades. Even tier 2 games were great games that I still hold dear: Super Turrican, B.O.B., Alien 3. We rented games, we shared games, we lent games.

Things started changing with the popularity of the Sega Genesis. I've never saw the appeal of Alex Kid and it's huge hand or Sonic urging you to speed just to hit something and loose all your rings. I didn't like the graphics or the music chip. It got worse when the Playstation became an unstoppable force. I still cringe at those polygons and the loading times. I was afraid of the change, but it wasn't gonna wait for me. Even thought I played Final Fantasy 6 over five times, I've never played Final Fantasy 7 more than 10 minutes.


The Playstation era resulted in my increasing disinterest in video games. I did keep up with Nintendo (I played Majora's mask with the Memory pack, bitches), but video games weren't such a big part of my life anymore. That is, until the Wii.

The Wii was exciting. I was crazy about playing Metroid Prime 3 and Super Paper Mario. I bought my Wii while the demand was high and payed a nice stack of money for it. A friend went with me when I bought it and later we played Wii Sports and Raving Rabbids on a saturday afternoon. He went home and soon bought one for himself.


Unfortunately, the Wii opened a hole that was too big to fill on its on (heyooooooooo!). I went trough games much faster than it was possible for developers to fulfill my high standards. Soon I was able to decompose the ample movements I used to make into simple wrist movements. That killed all immersion for me. I remember that at one point, movers dropped a couch on my Wii, but it did nothing to the console (Nintendo hardware). My father asked me, on the next day, what happened then and I replied: “if it was broken, I'd have bought another one already”.

During the Wii era I got a Xbox to play Bioshock and later a PS3. I also got a Nintendo DS at some point. I was hungry for games. When I played Fallout 3 the first time, for over 100 hours, I thought “Wow, such an incredible deep and involving experience that Nintendo would never allow nor keep up with the necessary technology”. By then I was spending an ungodly amount of time and money getting the games I want. Some of you may never think of it but, since I don't live in the United States, buying games for a fair price take as much time as it takes money.


It all started to make more sense when Steam came to OSX.

Yes, I hate Windows and I hate Microsoft. And yes, I'm very knowledgeable about computers. You may disagree with me, but I'll will not change my position, specially since my game only Windows managed to break itself for some reason sometime during the last year. Don't waste your time, I think Windows is a badly written piece of crap, but now I'm willing to “deal with it” since in my position it's my most convenient and cost effective way of playing the games I want.

About one year ago I needed to get a job outside my hometown. It was the time to get a notebook and, why not, one with a decent graphics card. Now remember my most memorable gaming years were during the SNES era with a comfortable, reliant and well designed controller? How do you expect me to play with a keyboard and mouse? Or with a Xbox controller without a workable D-pad?


Well, that's the beauty of PC gaming. I soon hooked up an PS3 controller and started playing everything. I've hooked up the notebook to my TV with the same HDMI cable I used for my PS3. Sounds naughty, doesn't it?

It's been one year plus since I've been away from my hometown. I miss the places I like to go, where I liked to eat, but mostly I miss my father. Well, I miss everything. I miss Nintendo. The Wii U and the 3DS are the only Nintendo consoles I didn't own, except for the Virtual Boy. I've tried the 3DS, and the 3D is my favorite part. I never tried the Wii U. Cat Mario alone would be enough for me to drop unholy amounts of cash in something, but being an adult is also about financial responsibility and paying over 60 dollars for an Amiibo is out of the question (remember that I don't live in the US? Even the common ones would cost me an irresponsible amount of money).

Look at all those cheese wheels 

Don't get me wrong: I love the experiences that only PC gaming can provide. I love mods and I love to pay only 10% of a game that I'll only play 10%. I love being able to afford a game at launch, but I hate unconstrained DRM and DLC. I also hate wasted time on technical problems that take away from my little gaming time. I hate that I'm playing Borderlands all alone since it's too hard to find someone with comparable level to play with me. And I hate that I can't play Nintendo games anymore.

I guess that's growing old for you, huh?

Just so I don't end this with a bad note, here's my best and worst gaming on PC.

Best moment so far: Playing Dark Souls 2 at Launch

Dark Souls 2 had a sweet launch. It took like 20 seconds to find somebody to play with. Definitely my favorite Souls game so far, and I've expend more than 100 hours on each.


Worst moment so far (besides Windows own unprovoked demise):

Finding out that Deadly Premonition is unplayable on PC. And the part I played was so good....


10:59 AM on 01.16.2015

You never asked for this, but it's commenting

It's been almost five years I've been here. Since I can't comment as much as I'd like, I realize that I know more about you than you know about be. In order to try and remedy this, I've  decided to put together some thoughts on selected topics for your perusal. Enjoy!

On Amiibo's

Is this what they meant by separated health business?

On Diversity in Videogames

"1971. Cincinnati. She was a cocktail waitress with the droopy eye! "

On ethics in videogaemz jurnalizmsasdf

Disclaimer: I masturbated 2.3 times while making this bong blog.

On the Nintendo defense force

LOL, no AC adapter. Please understand! (Shit, I still want one)

Filling the Lordvessel is fun

Fuck this, I'm playing Triple Town.

H8/10 comments in reviews

Cliff bleszinski is a weiner.

On the community blogs

"What's the big... I say, what's the big idea chasin' my worm? You're a cat, son."

On cocks and related phallic stuff

< 3 (this still looks like a butt to me)


5:49 PM on 10.23.2014

Paranautical Activity is now in Steam limbo

I've been meaning talk about Paranautical Activity for some time now. I bought the game a long time ago on Humble Bundle, since I thought it would be nice to play online the "impossibly fast FPS roguelike" with my close friends. I thought that playing online would help with the difficult and ultimately be an incentive to keep playing.

In the trailer the game looks cool and super dynamic. 

Welp, the multiplayer, online or not is off for some time now. Thing is, it was promised by the developers during Early Access (Hurray, Early Access!), along with other features to be added until the official release.

The game was originally Kickstarted (Hurray, Kickstarter!), reaching a modest 12K. But sometime during development the people responsible figured that making multiplayer was unfeasible. I was sad to hear that, but it was Early Access, made by a small indie team and online multiplayer is not something you can just flip a switch to implement. I'd still be able to play it without multiplayer, just not as much.

The internet, however, does not take promises lightly, specially explicit ones. To worsen the situation the community manager and developer started publicly arguing with buyers and censoring posts. The situation escalated with people allegedly finding proprietary sounds used without permission. The developers fought hard against the allegations even banning people from Steam, but eventually discussion faded. I don't even remember Dtoid talking about it; simply put, the game wasn't big enough.

This last monday the game was supposed to launch out of Early Access, the date conveniently chosen to coincide with Steam's Halloween sale. Unfortunately, something went wrong and Steam still showed Paranautical Activity as an Early Access game. It is worth noting that although multiplayer was not implemented other promised features were implemented, and the developer claims that they even took "a little inspiration in our steam forums".

Believing that the Early Access warning would hurt sales, one of the developers freaked out and started on a twitter rant (Hurray, Twitter!) that culminated when he threatened Gabe's life. Yes, really. The game was consequently unlisted from Steam.

As soon as the next day, the person responsible for the death treats left Code Avarice, Paranautical Activity's developer. Apparently he sold his part of the company, along with all his rights to intellectual property to his partner, so he will see no amount of money from new sales.

So, that was it for the game. Despite the damage control, I doubt Steam will allow the game back on the service (I guess they had enough complaints about this one). Personally, I played the game and didn't like it. The graphics feel off. The gameplay also feels off, mostly the guns are not fast and powerful enough and could only be chosen in predefined pairs I didn't care for, but then again I'm not really into rogue-likes anyway.

The game is still available on Humble, if you care to try it. You can also check the game's Steam page and community hub with Google cache, seems to be a lot of positive reviews. If you feel compelled, you can also sign the petition for the game to be re-listed. Apparently, people like to buy things on Steam only and threatening Steam's owner and beloved public person was not a good idea. Who would've figured?

Frankly, I believe the remaining of Code Avarice shouldn't be punished for somebody else's fault, specially since they did all they could to take distance from the the ridiculous events that took place. The thing is, I simply cannot recommend the game, and I suspect I wouldn't recommend it even if the multiplayer was in fact implemented.

This sad story is another cautionary tale to indie developers everywhere. First, never make a promise you may not be able to keep. Also, beware of Kickstarter and Early Access. Don't forget to choose well who you work with. And if you can't not be an idiot, stay away from twitter and the Steam forums. Make better, stay away from the internet.


10:09 PM on 06.18.2014

Soul Searching - My trip through the Souls Series

I was a hundred miles away from home. My best friend started a white PS3 and a game straight from Japan. All I remember was fire. And that I was afraid. "Do you wanna play?", he asked. "No. I rather watch", I replied, felling like a kid afraid to lose all his friends marbles. 

That was Demons' souls. Thirty years from now, if I can't  remember anything else, I'm sure I'll still remember the fear. When you think about it, it's all there in the wonderful intro cut scene. 

There was also a forceful loneliness that took me back to Metroid Prime. But it was somehow different. He then took me to 1-1; and it felt like home. I felt like a knight. I was invading the castle. I didn't know why, but I felt I must. I know now that a shortcut was already open, and that took me straight to the dragon. "This game will be my first purchase", I said, and I knew I needed a PS3. 

I knew that game was hard, and I'm a person prone to raging. I always was. I distinctly remember my father saying something about me breaking controllers. My friend replied "Almost every time I die, it's my fault". "I think I can live with that", and I thought, "I'll either love it or hate it". 

I loved it. I lived and breathed Demon's Souls. When I wasn't playing it, I was reading the wiki. I loved almost everything about it. The Gargoyles were insane, though. It was then that I almost quit. But I didn't. Actually, I almost got the platinum but I gave up when all I needed was a Pure Bladestone. 

By Deivuu

When Dark Souls was out I knew I'd either loved it or hate it. I saved the money to buy it at lunch, but my cat got sick. The x-rays were the exact amount. I had to wait for a sale. 

I always had a feeling I wouldn't enjoy Dark Souls. Magic was nerfed. There were talks of reused ideas and assets. It felt like it was a way to circumvent Demons' Souls exclusivity. 

I did enjoy it to a certain degree, until Smough and Ornestein. I hated the knights. I hated the effort it took to get to the bosses, and I hated how the bosses took advantage of our limitation to fight one enemy at a time. I almost quit. 

After a lot of grinding and a lot of luck in multiplayer I was able to beat them. I was happy I could proceed. Playing online was a mixed bag. People were desperate to pass and grievers had the time of their life's. 

I was pissed. It seemed impossible and unfair. But I made it.

Only to find the Four Kings. 

It took forever to get there. I needed to use consumable items to fight the enemies on my way, and basically it took me 5+ minutes to get slaughtered in seconds. I gave up. 

The game got me. I couldn't take it anymore. I wasn't having any pleasure. I was unhappy and frustrated. It was time to give up. 

Dark Souls 2 came to PC like the savior. I was build from the ground up (?), no GFWL, and solved all Dark Souls obvious problems. No grinding. Instant teleport. A solid multiplayer. I was excited. No doubts crossed my mind. I bought it. I loved it. 

125 hours later, the Dark Soul achievement is mine. I felt like I deserved it years ago, but such is life (in case you're wondering, I have 4 friends on Steam so I wasn't after this trophy to serve as an epenis. This was for me). 

The game has its faults, but I felt like a hero again, not like a pathetic undead. Was it perfect? No. But it made me love the game again. It made me live and breath it again. And I love it. Now kindly join me, as I praise the sun.


4:23 PM on 01.31.2014

Nintendo, here's my list of demands

Dear Nintendo, 

By now you realize you're in my hands. 

With my purchase being the difference between failure and success, I think you'll find my list of demands to be very reasonable. 

Be warned: Failure to comply will result in a few yens less in your account. We all know you need it (I heard Tokyo is very expensive). 

Fire Reggie and put Reggie in. 
CEO's have to have balls.

Ditch the gimmick.

"People like tablets, let's put a tablet in our console" - that's you. See how you sound stupid? 

Ditch it. Lower the prices, bundle the classic controller with the console. Really want a second screen? Let us use a 3DS - make another accessory for it if needed (you guys really like accessories, right?). 

Stop with the Maude Flanders bullshit. 

"Binding of Isaac is too controversial, we might receive two letters with complaints". Hell, even Disney isn't this prude anymore. They even have gay characters!

Fuck. Region. Lock. 

Everyone with more than two brain cells knows: the only purpose of region lock is price discrimination. Do a universal price policy: I just want to pay you the fair price.       

Bottom line: Screwing your costumer is not good for business. 

While you are on it, make Club Nintendo available everywhere. 

Lower your prices. 

Honestly, you have incredible IP and, comparatively, treat it with lot of respect. But software isn't as valuable as it once was: today we have outstanding free, open source available. Anyone with a computer can make a great game, sometimes with little time and scarce resources. 

Bottom line is: your are competing for people's free time and available money. 
Do you see Steam proposing a better "mobile communication"?

Update your games. 

Because "classic" is not necessarily a compliment.

Stop procrastinating. 

And make an account system. Games that are not tied to hardware have greater value perception. I mean value perception, not price. In other words, that doesn't mean you can charge the same price retail charges. 

And no, you can't charge for online play, don't even ask.

Change the console name. 

I warned you it was a bad idea. Now you are confirming it publicly. 
Maybe it's time to listen to me again? 

Me.   read

4:49 PM on 11.28.2013

7 Reasons Dtoid should hire Benny Disco stat

1 - Benny Disco > Chris Carter


Seriously, I did the math, but it's too big to fit in the margin. 

Benny would never give 6.5 to a Zelda game saying it has no heart. YOU'VE NO HEART CHRIS, HOW COULD YOU, I NAMED MY SON ZELDA AND NOW YOU'RE RUINING IT. ALSO, YOU RUINED X-FILES, YOU MANIAC.

2 - Benny Disco is Clickbait


3 - Benny Disco rates on a Scale:

No more shall Dtoid be restricted to the 1-10 scale. We'll start ranking every game in the appropriate scale. Zelda's will be rated in heart containers the reviewer got. Hotline Miami in people you actually killed and Bioshocks in how many times you injected "plasmids". (wink-wink)

4- Benny Disco is cheap:

He can review things without even touching them. His savings put the Gaben to shame.

5 - Benny Disco is in tune with the latest meme:

Wow. Such current. 

6- Benny can make homoerotic jokes:

Because Kirby "inside me" jokes are so mainstream.

7 - Benny Disco knows people:

I mean, just look at his curriculum: 

Also, thanksgiving cocks,


7:59 AM on 04.07.2010

E for Effort: Fable 2

[Warning: OMG SPOILERS!]

This is the story of my most regrettable purchase ever. I didn't plan revisiting any of this, but I couldn't resist this month's theme. Actually, I shiver at the very thought of Fable 3. I honestly hope it goes well. I know that a lot of people love Fable. But count me out.

I had just bought my Xbox late 2008. It came with Lego Indy and another game that shall remain nameless. I purchased Bioshock, had one hell of a good time with it, and as my vacation drew near I began searching for follow ups.

Then I started to hear about this game. It's supposed to resemble Zelda, looks great, the price was reasonable, had great reviews. It's like a blind date: you ask if the girl is beautiful and the answer is “she's blonde with blue eyes”. Classical trap. Think of how many unattractive girls with blond hair and blue eyes you know. Serves you right for being shallow. Next time be aware that when someone does not answer the question you've asked it's because you wouldn't like the answer.

Note that I have never even heard about this game prior to release. There was no excessive hype or half filled promises for me, as it was for many of you. I also have never played the original Fable (and now I have no intention to do so). I just bought the game for a good time.

And because of the dog.

Yes, the dog sold me the game. I love animals, specially strays. Not to the point of buying Nintendogs, but enough to be a determinant factor for buying Fable 2.

The dog in the game is disappointing, clearly. Aside from barking now and then, tricks that get you laid and a few misplaced rubber balls, there's nothing much. I later came to realize that this characteristic is not particular to the dog. I found that the game itself is quite simplistic: the story, the combat system and the customization options like clothes, weapons and my many wives. The team went out of the way to counter this point. They posted pictures, complained that people didn't use the options well. If I were to agree with this (I don't) I would still blame it on them. See, game design and game features should complement each other. If you think there was great depth on this choices, why weren't they more deeply involved on the gameplay?

I'm not saying that I didn't have fun with Fable 2. I did. I even fell some discomfort saying this things, since I've played it many hours. And I probably wouldn't have if it wasn't somehow rewarding. Turns out I really like exploration, and there's a lot of fiddling about. I had a really good laugh organizing an orgy with port prostitutes, even tough it cost me some coins and I got to see nothing. But the key moment on my disenchantment was when I discovered I could get away with anything simply killing all the guards that came for me. Not using powerful magic or items (were there any?) but simply by pressing repeatedly the attack button. If you haven't tried the co-op, you can now think of why it isn't fun.

Decisions that baffled me don't stop there. The game gives you the option to be in a whole grey area between good and bad: there is however only a single path story. Hence, it's extremely simplistic and unoriginal. They could have compensated with remarkable characters, but they are very forgettable, what's in part due to the shortness of the story. I found the gambling on table games uninteresting and unnecessary. For your information, there is a specific achievement (if you are into that sort of thing) that is only obtainable if you buy the 10 dollar arcade game based on this table games. Classy.

To me, Fable 2 is a reminder of how less is more. If the team had concentrated on fewer aspects like the ones, you know, make a game fun, I would never be writing this. I keep thinking how Batman: AA is a game that succeeded on everything Fable 2 failed. A compelling story, a fun battle system that can become difficult and complex, just the gadgets you'd want to use and challenges to keep making you play it.

I realize we can't all be Batman.

But killing the dog?

Cheap shot, Lionhead. Cheap shot.   read

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