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Zulkyr's blog

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Zulkyr avatar 5:34 PM on 04.09.2010  (server time)
E for Effort:lessly put together moneymakers

It's very easy to come to destructoid and pick on Activision, Ubisoft or EA. Either because invasive and punishing DRM, bad business practises that try to suck money out of our pockets like a vacuum cleaner or because they fire their staff right before they'd get paid.

So, because it's EASY and LOGICAL, I'm gonna do just that. But not in an overzealous way. Because when the years balance is run, they will be still in the business, making tons of money from selling games. And while it may bother us that posess a critical view of the industry, it is absolutely irrelevant to them whether they are producing quality titles or the next Guitar Hero: Modern Warfare, the word on their minds is profitability. And boy, do they have it.

And that's it, really. Despite not liking what Activision does, by releasing 8 guitar heroes a year they might be flooding the market just a little, but with the diminished costs of making the same game with bonus tracks, they don't really care that it sells low, the money is still rolling in. Who cares that Modern Warfare is reusing everything from the first game to create the levels of intensity and tension that the first game so masterfully introduced? Who cares that the chopper is out of fuel EVERY time you need it and you have to rush to it? Who cares that because the sniper level was a huge sucess they decided to make it happen three times in the same length of time? It sold 1 billion dollars in a week. So I'll recapitulate: despite not liking what Activision does, you really have to admire their ability to steal your wallet.

Wii Shovelware? Genius. Costs almost nothing to produce, sells a bazillion copies and makes stockholders happy. When everyone in this caotic world is trying to get by without losing their job and house in the process, they are literally printing money off of naive clientele. Two questions impose themselves: How the hell did they do it? And, most importantly, why didn't I think of that?

As we are preparing to celebrate three decades of videogaming, you have to stand in awe of how much these guys manage to trick the consumer into buying horsecrap. It's tremendously difficult to fool a large amount of people, especially when it comes to reaching deep into their pockets. Not only that, but to keep regaining their confidence time and time again. Think of the truckloads of iPhone apps that are redundantly stupid and still manage to make a living in the App store. It truly is an incredible feat, to lure so many people into spending their (sometimes) hard-earned cash into some truly bland wastes of lifetime. I ask you again: How the hell did they do it?

It matters not. It is a reality and it's not going away any time soon, as motion controls seem to draw endless crowds to the consoles and videogames continue to grow as an Industry, I'd like to call a round of applause to all the shitty, lazy, backstabbing sons-o-bitches in the gaming industry, who make their names by releasing low-quality shovelware and still earn some money.

Now let's all gear up for Guitar Hero 19: Legends of Indian Classical Music

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