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Video Games No Longer Help Me

Struggling to write. This is what I came up with. *** My best memories are from video games, The purest form of laughter and merriment, Playing GoldenEye and Perfect Dark, For hours on end with a select few pals. The rea...


Game Industry: Trailer Failure, Part 1

Gaming publishers need a basic lesson in proper promotion. Let's get one thing straight: the current model for selling copies of an overblown money-laden video game is downright barbaric. The industry is still using fire to w...


Metal Gear Solid: Secrets Unearthed!

Hello there! I know I don't write often enough to be remembered, but don't worry my dear reader. I've got your back when it comes to video games. After exploring the jungles of Cambodia and the scuzziest lower east-side dive ...


StarCraft II: It's tearing me apart, Lisa!

Alright fellas and felines, I gotta be Spongebob Square with you. I really wanted to write this amazing blog that explained in detail what I thought of StarCraft II, which I recently acquired after Amazon betrayed Blizzardís ...


World of WarCraft releases New Charity Pet

† IRVINE, CA Ė Blizzard Entertainment has made a new minipet available for sale in the MMO World of WarCraft today, sources report. The company has a history of creating virtual companions for the purpose of raising funding ...


A Message to the Destructoid Community

Hello everyone. Today I'm writing something a little different. Itís Christmas Eve, so you have more important things to do than read the ramblings of a madman; I promise I'll make this short and sweet. When I became a member...


Witcher 3: Wild Hunt Review

As none of you will know, I possess a time machine I use to frequent the future for the singular purpose of playing brand new products before they release in the primary timeline. As a result, I have immense knowledge of futu...


Final Fantasy VII HD Remake Announced

Final Fantasy VII HD Remake Announced in Alternate Universe † JAPAN, EARTH 2 Ė EnixSoft CEO Matsuke Yosuda announced at a press conference yesterday that development was nearing completion on a Final Fantasy VII HD remake of ...


VGX: An In-Depth Analysis (Final Part)

You can read part 3 by clicking here. End Game I'll be honest with you dear reader. I'm sick and tired of writing about VGX. I've thrown witticisms at this sexy stripper of an article like so many dollar bills and I'm just ...


About Zuckerhundone of us since 9:30 AM on 12.09.2013

I'm a floundering writer who would love nothing more than to actually be paid one day for something I create. I know, it sounds incredibly brutal and honest, but I'm getting old and tired. I love video games and sleeping.

Sometimes I stare into the abyss of youtube videos and weep internally as a smile creeps its way into my face, a hollow mimicry of what happiness is.

Also, manatees.


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