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ZombiePlatypus's blog

5:30 PM on 12.11.2011


Think of the days before idle animation, where our platforming heroes did absolutely nothing unless we told them to via button presses. Set your controller down and Mario would just stand there not moving a pixel as a Koopa Troopa walks towards him with intent to kill. We were playing as Mario, he did nothing without us, but our view of the action was not his own. Somehow we're playing Mario out of body, watching our adventure from the sideline and telling ourselves how to proceed with a vantage of the larger picture. Looking at Mario's blank, dead, expressionless eye sockets gives a clue of how this can be. The player is actually acting as Mario's disembodied eyes floating off screen, somehow still telepathically telling him how to move and react on his mission to rescue the Princess.



8:57 PM on 11.28.2010

What I used to want...

I was digging through old notes and sketches this past week and came across a short list of games I was at one point looking forward to, excluding handhelds. Comparing it to release dates on Wikipedia I've figured that at the latest the list was from early 2005. It may not be interesting to anybody else but I found it neat thinking about what had become of the games, and how I couldn't even remember all of them. It's a list of games I loved, games that were delayed, and a couple games that were cancelled (though one of those two eventually made it out over here in North America). There's also a note on the list about how the impending 360 launch was going to hurt the 2005 me's ability to get the games I wanted and have any money left over. It's pretty bizarre, considering I don't recall ever writing notes of that sort to myself. So yeah, this is pretty damned dorky.

So first on the list was Cowboy Bebop, a game my current self completely forgot existed. Turns out it was a PS2 action game that had it's supposed NA release scrapped, after it already came out in Japan and apparently got past me pretty interested. Considering how little I loved the PS2 Lupin III game, maybe Cowboy Bebop's non-release was a blessing. That said, I'd still like to play that damned DS Gurren Lagann game...

Next up, Dragon Quest VIII. It came out, I loved it, still love it. Happy ending for all. The same can be said for Metal Gear Solid 3: Subsistence, so I'll skip that one later.

Twilight Princess was faced with delays and I eventually got it launch night with my shiny new Wii. I dug it, but can't see myself going back to it, unlike Majora's Mask or Link's Awakening.

Evil Dead: Regeneration, the first Evil Dead game I genuinely liked. I bought Hail to the King and Fistful of Boomstick, but had little to no fun with either. Still I looked forward to Regeneration, and while it was repetitive and derivative, it was also good. Not great, but good. I wish I had an iPod touch to pick up the new Evil Dead game, because as a fanboy I totally would. C'mon folks, give us a new console game!!

Conker: Live & Reloaded. Oi, I hated this fucking remake. I wasn't a fan of the fuzzy graphics. I wasn't a fan of it going from Live & Uncut while in development to Live & Reloaded sometime before release, because somehow it became more censored under Microsoft than the original was on the N64 under Nintendo. And I wasn't a fan of the new multiplayer. I'd have greatly preferred the original's various modes + online play, instead we got an abomination that just didn't feel right.

Soulcalibur 3 was fun, and I dug the character creation addition, but it felt like a letdown after Soul Calibur 2. It's sandwiched between two better games in the series, in my opinion. But I do like Tira, so there is that...

I never actually bought or even played Ninja Gaiden Black. How's that for a game "I cannot wait for"?

The Shield. Ah, The Shield... I'm a massive fan of the television show it was based on, and back when the game was being made the show was in it's "classic" state, before the big twists of the final three seasons had come into play. I had greatly been looking forward to this game, where the player was to be tasked with playing as Vic Mackey while spending their time juggling police work and the character's criminal activities. Get too corrupt and the other cops will take notice, that kind of thing. Then the game got canned while in development. I was extremely bummed. It eventually was revived and made it to shelves two years later as a budget title on the PS2 only, and did it ever deserve that budget release. As I discovered with other games on this list, fanboyism will only take a player so far, and that wasn't far enough with this game.

So that's it. There's my list of games I supposedly couldn't wait for. It helps me remember that all the games I supposedly need to have right now could easily be either mediocre memories or not a memory at all in the future.   read

1:20 AM on 04.09.2010


As any true bro knows, there's trouble in brorum paradise. I'm sure you've seen the comics and micro-games. If you haven't, go check out the other Forum Adventures blogs. I'm not here to rehash the rivalry, I'm here to show show you how it all ends. Through advanced technology I've been able to divine the aftermath of Gyrael and Gobun's epic struggle. Look below if you feel prepared.


6:07 AM on 03.16.2010

Niero! Destructoid! Happy Birthday!


Also, cocks.   read

9:37 PM on 08.24.2009

Why I love Destructoid...


9:02 PM on 08.03.2009

Aborto's Ultimate Tag Team Contest: Zombypus Wants That Magnet Edition...

So here goes my entry for Abortos Comic-Con swag contest, because I could really use a Deadpool magnet, among other things.

Top spot goes to Deadpool. Not only is he my favorite comic character, but hed really be great in a fighting game regardless. If done right hed have a good mix of ranged and melee attacks, what with his expertise with guns and swords. Then theres the healing factor thatll keep him going and help make up for all of my suck and lack of fighting game prowess.

Next Id have Taskmaster. He has a long history with Deadpool, and I really became a fan when his solo miniseries from Udon came out. They made him a total badass, and even though Marvel has decided to take him back to his Skeletor look, hes still retained that cool factor he gained. At least in my eyes he has. I see Tasky as being something like Shang Tsung in Mortal Kombat, only instead of turning into his opponents hed be able to mimic the move sets of anybody in the game. Id have it work something like you being able to pick three characters' move sets to take into the fight with you before each match, since itd be practically impossible to map and keep track of the button presses required to swap between 50+ fighting styles in the midst of a round. Youd pick Taskmaster, then select three other characters for him to ape and which of Taskys three predetermined slots they should go into.

The third and final character was a bit harder to settle on, and Aborto leaving it open to characters outside of Marvel and Capcom didnt make my decision any easier. Theres so many characters I love. Chads recent Memory Card on the Windfishs Dream, and my love of Links Awakening in general had me leaning towards Link, but hes gotten enough attention with all the Smash Bros games, so Im going with Mike from StarTropics. Ive complained before that StarTropics is all but forgotten by Nintendo, and I really want to see more from that series, so yeah Mike. I see Mike as being average sized to relatively small compared to other fighters, with slightly above average agility. Hed have to use his island yo-yo as his default attack, giving him a medium range for most attacks. Hed have his baseball bat for heavy hitting up close attacks and his slingshot for weaker attacks from across the screen. Maybe Nav-Com (Rob) could be used in his assist, or as part of a special attack.

So, there go my picks for my three man team. What say you, Aborto?!


9:16 PM on 04.05.2009

That One Mook: Blaino


Thinking back on the various game bosses that have troubled me a handful immediately sprung to mind, but only one really stood out, Blaino. He may not be the best choice for this particular subject since he's not an out and out ass-kicker, he doesnt even actually kill you when he bests you, but given the chance he can be a bastard. Blaino is a mid-boss from the Turtle Rock dungeon in Links Awakening, my favorite Zelda game, one of my favorite games period. Hes pretty much just a penguin with boxing gloves, and isnt much of a threat if youre in the zone and put your charged spin to good use, but if youre just a bit off you can be in some trouble. When Blaino connects with one of his trademark uppercuts the blow sends you sailing all the way back to the dungeons beginning.

Ive played through Links Awakening many times, and for most of those adventures Blaino is nothing to worry about, but on a few occasions I can recall he has driven me mad. Its happened to me as recently as this past winter. For unknown reasons, Ill foul up and Blaino will connect with Link, sending our elven hero back to the dungeons entrance. From there you have the trek back to Blaino. Its not a difficult or overly lengthy walk, but its long enough to give you time to think about the rematch. If youre on top of your game youll take Blaino out no problems with round two, if not youre sent through the air back to the start again. Thats when the trouble can really start. Like any good boxer, Blaino can start to get in your head.

Trudging past the same enemies and fire pits, you hope this is the last time. You think about what went wrong, and perhaps over think what needs to be done to set it right. Its a simple game, two buttons and a d-pad are all the controls to worry about. All you need is your most basic of weapons, the sword, to take Blaino down. Yet if you get in a rut of walking to Blaino and getting socked back to do it all over you can get sloppier and it just goes downhill from there.

Like I said earlier, Blaino really isnt a difficult boss, and Ive beaten him many times without issue, but on those handful of times where I inexplicably just cant help but muck up he can really drive me nuts. When that happens its best to just put down the GameBoy and let it go for a bit, before frustration leads to rage. So yeah, due to the above reasoning, Blaino is That One Mook for me

Bonus: Blaino reappears later on in the Zelda series as a boxing gym proprietor in Oracle of Seasons.   read

11:11 AM on 02.02.2009

10 things that should've been posted yesterday...

I wasn't at my house for the majority of yesterday, and as such my internet time was greatly limited. Anyways, I figured that I didn't want to be the only one on Dtoid without one of these, so here goes.

1 I was born in a supposedly haunted hospital.
This old hospital at the Navy base in Portsmouth, VA. I remember seeing some shitty TV show about haunted places hosted by Rip Torn, and they talked about the place. I was a baby, so I dont recall seeing any ghosts during my stay, but its still kinda cool nonetheless
2 I was a boy scout.
From way back being a Tiger Cub up to becoming an Eagle Scout, I was in it all the way. It really wasnt like you see on TV, we actually had fun. Its where I first learned to camp, cuss and burn stuff real good. Then I moved to Minnesota and every troop I checked out was exactly like you see on TV. A bunch of coddled children in church basements, and thus I pretty much gave up on scouting
3 I used to be smart.
I started kindergarten a year early, got straight As all throughout elementary school, spent one day each week at the Gifted and Talented center, all that jazz. Then I went to a Magnet School for 6th grade while all my friends went to regular one. I hated it. Surrounded by people I didnt like, taking advanced Math (I always hated math) and mandatory Latin, it just wasnt for me. The next year I went to the normal Jr High and discovered my love of procrastination and laziness and only briefly dabbled in the gifted program again during my first year of Sr High. I pretty much just kept my head down through the rest of my school days.
4 I love Deadpool.
Okay, so you probably do know that if you checked out my header image, but it bares repeating. Deadpool is the shit. I own every (to my knowledge) comic that hes been in. Hes the only comic I read anymore, I stuck through various periods of writing I didnt care for just out of sheer loyalty, and luckily hes been written well again lately.
5 Im getting a hedgehog within the next couple weeks.
Ive wanted one since elementary school, and not because of Sonic either since I never owned a Sega console. I remember doing a report on em for class and Ive wanted one ever since. They just look so damn cool. One of my science teachers later on had one in the classroom, and that cemented my wanting one even more. Theyre not the easiest critters to come by where I live, and animal shelters never have any so I finally decided to go through a local breeder. Clich names like Sonic or Spike are out, but at the risk of sounding too dorky Im leaning towards naming him Anguirus.
6 Im a Packers fan.
VA doesnt have a team, so I pretty much got to choose who to like. The first Super Bowl I remember actually taking an interest in was the one where the Packers beat the Patriots. I had been going against the Pats mainly because I thought their fans in the stands came across as lamer, then the Packers came away with the win and Ive been a fan ever since. And as a Packers fan let me tell you that I for one was glad that they didnt take Favre back when he un-retired before this season. I used to love the guy, but his schtick was getting old at the end of each season, and so long after his big teary goodbye he wanted us to kick Rogers to the curb at his whim? Fuck that.
7 Im a huge Wild fan.
Whats the Wild you ask? Theyre MNs pro hockey team. If theres a game televised youd better believe Im watching it. I remember going to Hampton Roads Admirals minor league games and playing some street hockey with a buddy of mine back in VA, but upon moving to MN the hockey bug really took. The Wild started at the same time I moved up here, so it was kinda perfect. Ive only been to a handful of games in person, but I love it.
8 I have three younger brothers...
...All of whom have various levels of disabilities, mental and physical. I still get to give them typical big brother shit though, so its all good.
9 In the 9th-10th grade some people who didnt really know me thought I was Canadian.
I used to watch Kids in the Hall reruns everyday after school, and I watched my VHS of Strange Brew too many times to count, and some of that rubbed off on me. I mainly blame the Strange Brew, because to this day I add , eh to the end of many of my sentences, and just generally use the Bob and Doug McKenzie Canadian stereotype inflections on certain words. Its not something I control, its just something I do.
10 I saved one of my brothers from being electrocuted.
We were little so the details are sketchy in my memory, but we had been playing in a sprinkler and he went inside via our back porch. Somewhere he got sidetracked from going straight inside and ended up touching an exposed source of electricity on the porch, I cant remember what since this was a long ass time ago. So anyways, I was heading inside and saw him standing on the back porch getting zapped and I just grabbed him and pulled, also getting a nice shock myself. He went to the hospital and was fine, and I didnt think much of it, but apparently it couldve been serious. I ended up getting a plaque presented to me by the mayor at one of those kids who done good things that cities do   read

11:48 AM on 07.11.2008

The Fabled Master Chief?

So with the official announcement of the Fable 2 Pub Games and the limited edition set and all that I started perusing the Lionhead site again. There in the forums I found a link to a fan news site called "loinhead", and the oddly believable picture below. Is it real, who knows? If it is though, do you think that Microsoft's cross pollination has gone too far? I mean, yeah Fable has enough goofy shit in it already, but shouldn't the endless pimping of Master Chief stop somewhere, again if this is real?

I dunno, while I kinda think that Halo should stay in Halo I also kinda think this is pretty cool. I mean the Spartan in DOA 4 was fun for a bit, but at the same time was gimmicky and pretty pointless, but this looks like it's been integrated a Hell of a lot better than the DOA Spartan. It looks like it'd fit within the world, y'know? Maybe it's clothing for the player, maybe it's a minstrel character, wither way it doesn't really look out of place. Like I said though, this post could just be me overthinking a bullshit shoop...   read

2:25 PM on 06.27.2008

Over Nine Thousaaaand...

Yep, I'm getting in on it...

So, what say you?   read

7:07 AM on 06.12.2008

The Start of the Affair: The Christmas of 19XX

I really can’t say with 100% certainty what my first game was, though like the good Reverend and many others I had much fun early on stomping goombas and zapping ducks with the Super Mario Bros/Duck Hunt combo cartridge. It may have been my first experience with video games, it may not, I honestly can’t remember where I started. I can’t even remember when we got our NES, though I do remember there being a time before owning one, but that’s not what I’m here to talk about. The start of the affair, eh? It was hard to pinpoint it at first, but whenever I think of my earlier days of gaming there’s one memory that always sticks out, and is as vivid today as it was when it happened; the Christmas my brother and I got StarTropics and Shadowgate. There’s no doubt that those two games enforced my love of the hobby, each in their own way.

So no, the Christmas 19XX in this c-blog’s title isn’t a game, I just can’t recall the exact year I'm referring to, but that particular Christmas morning my brother Dave and I each received a video game, he StarTropics, me Shadowgate. The whole experience of tearing the gifts open and seeing those boxes is burned into my mind. That demonic gargoyle breaking free from his stone skin, and the tropical island scene against the setting (rising?) sun, I’ll always remember first seeing those covers. Getting two brand new video games was the greatest thing ever at the time. We weren’t dirt poor or anything, there was money to buy an NES for crying out loud, but there wasn’t a whole mess of extra money either, y’know? So we owned an NES and a few games, but mostly we either rented from the video store in the local grocery store, or got used cartridges from the thrift store.

Needless to say, I didn’t play a lot of the “classics” when they first came around. I watched someone play the beginning of the original Zelda at a friend of the family’s house once, and it bored me to death. I was just used to platformers and shooters, of course actually playing the game might’ve helped too. Anyways, StarTropics was my first experience with that style of adventure gameplay, and the whole game felt so epic as a result. Traveling from island to island, talking to villagers, exploring dungeons, collecting items and figuring out how to beat the puzzles and bosses… It was all so great to me, and still is. The music sticks with me to this day as well, and I‘ll be honest when I say that I‘m not a game music buff at all but I have multiple StarTropics tracks on my iPod. I spent a lot of time with StarTropics and loving every minute of it, killing things with my island yo-yo and getting immersed in the adventure. Then I got to the point where you needed to input a certain code into your sub. Damn…

Nowadays most people know about the letter included in the box with the game. The letter had to be submerged in water to reveal a code that needed to be input into your sub in order to progress after a certain point in the game. Well, us being little kids, my brother tore into his new video game and promptly lost all of the paperwork that came with it. Nobody else we knew owned the game, and there was no searching the internet for help back then, so we were pretty much screwed. By the time I got that far in the game the letter was long gone. I spent weeks randomly typing numbers into the Sub-C, desperately hoping that I’d stumble upon a way to continue my adventure through sheer dumb luck. Unfortunately luck was apparently too smart for me and I was never able to get it figured out. I was sad, I was mad, and I eventually gave up. A while later we actually ended up selling the game at a yard sale put on by my Scout Troop, and the guy who bought it came back an hour or so later complaining that he’d gotten to a part where he needed a code, and wanted to know what it was. He was obviously a lying bastard, as there’s no way he got that far in an hour, he’d just used one of our saves. So I didn’t feel so bad anymore about selling him a game he could only feasibly partially beat, and I pretty much just told him a variation of “Sucks to be you”…

Then there was Shadowgate, the one of the two that was actually mine, which I ended up liking less but still loving. Like I said earlier, I was used to just platformers and shooters as far as NES games go, so this was another brand new experience for me. I’d never even seen a game like before getting it that day. Just figuring out how to get into the castle felt like a giant accomplishment to me, let alone fumbling my way throughout the rest of the game. Death came to me often, but even when I had no clue what I was doing, which was also often, I was still having a blast trekking through this insane castle. There were sharks in a lake inside the freaking castle, how awesome is that?! Now imagine how awesome that was to an elementary schooler. Pretty friggen’ awesome, huh? I played that game relentlessly back in the day, and didn’t give up ‘til I was finally done. Bizarre game, confusing game, but one that left an impression.

When I bought a refurbished NES off eBay a few years back, which came with Mario/Duck Hunt and a Zapper of course, StarTropics and Shadowgate were the first two games I bought. For years I’d been dying to own them again, and thanks to the power of the internet I was finally able to complete StarTropics. Now that I know it I don’t think I’ll ever forget the code 747 for as long as I live. After thinking about it and typing this out I guess it’s a no brainer for me that that particular Christmas was my true “Start of the Affair”. These two not only opened me up to a wider range of games than I’d ever played, but they also were the first games I can remember being obsessed with completing. Plus, in the case of StarTropics, it also provided me with one of my favorite games of all time…


1:48 AM on 06.01.2008

ZombiePlatypus VS. Splatterhouse: Still Trying to Educate Myself

I downloaded the Virtual Console port of Splatterhouse the day it was available, played it for a bit and didn’t get too far before starting up something else and more or less forgetting about it completely. I came back to it for this month’s Educate Yourself, more determined to actually get somewhere with it. I didn’t think I was doing too bad, making my way through to the chainsaw boss before running out of lives. From there on out I pretty much started a process of beating a boss, getting a bit further, getting a game over and then starting it all over again, this time besting one more boss than the last time. It got to be challenging but never really unfair, y’know?

The levels themselves aren’t too terribly memorable, to me anyways, but a few of the boss fights tend to stand out… The chainsaw boss looked cool, fighting your demon possessed girlfriend was way easier than I thought it’d be, but my favorite boss was the haunted room. An entire room possessed by evil, you get attacked by various objects and pretty much just fight ‘em off ‘til they’re all gone. It took me a couple of tries to figure out a good pattern for my attacks (i.e.: where to stand}, but once I did figure something out it was all pretty easy. So I finished off the evil room and put down the controller to take a drink of my beverage of choice, only to have the damned chandelier fall on my head. It’s my own fault, I should’ve known better after that extra, final “fuck you” slug-thing leapt at me at the end of the first boss fight. Oh well, I was ready for it the next time and I hoofed it for the wall after I offed that possessed portrait. A random cool thing I noticed was after I killed one of those basic monsters in Stage III the first zombie wolf rushed out, but it stopped and starting eating the dead thing’s remains. I took a moment to chuckle, then walked up and kicked the wolf to death…

On one of my many last lives I got my ass kicked during my first try at Stage VI, the one with all of those bubbles floating around turning into little critters. Between GTA, Penny Arcade, and Memorial Day weekend I stopped playing for a week and a half or so before picking the WiiMote back up and giving Splatterhouse a go again. I got to stage VI’s boss, who was a bit of a disappointment by the way, having to just punch the shit out of it for a while, stopping only to avoid the same bubble-beasties from the rest of the level. Of course my lives/continues were low by then and I ended up getting offed by VII‘s boss‘s hands. So far I’m 0 for 2 with these Educate Yourself games, having used cheats last month and failing to actually complete this game this month. I do plan on finishing Splatterhouse however, but it’s the 31st so I figured I ought to through up a post for the “club”. I was also into the idea behind the Friday Night Fights session revolving around this, but my youngest bro had a tournament this weekend and I was at his game/out with relatives most of last night. Maybe next month, eh?

I’ve always seen images from the arcade version throughout the years, so I was kinda disappointed when I first downloaded Splatterhouse a while back to see that Rick had a (crappy) red mask instead of the Jason Voorhees style hockey mask. Curse you TurboGrafx-16, curse you. Even bigger disappointments were the rest of the graphical changes. Reduced gore, altered enemies, etc. I’ve seen videos of the original version and stuff like the inverted cross villain being switched to a random head, while it’s chapel/cathedral lair is stripped of anything that would let you know where it is you’re supposed to be fighting is all pretty lame. From what I’ve seen they left in the music and delay from after that particular fight, but cut out the little altar you stand before, which just leaves you standing there for no apparent reason. ‘Tis a shame… One actual gameplay nitpick I have is that whenever you go up/down a ladder, or walk into a new room you drop whatever weapon you’re carrying. I just wanna keep my plank of wood with me whenever possible, is that so wrong? I’ve also heard Cowzilla talk about the difficulty in pulling off the slide kick, and I’ve got to agree. I never really used it because it was pretty unreliable.

So to wrap this up, I had fun with this one but the total lack of any nostalgic connection on my end left me not feeling too strongly one way or the other about Splatterhouse. I do appreciate that a game like this came out way back in the ‘80s and was successful enough to spawn two sequels and a soon to come reboot. As far as I can remember there was nothing like this, violence-wise, out there at that particular time. Of course if there was I guarantee my mother kept it away from me… So yeah, I dug it, but I also kinda feel like if you strip away it‘s theme/schtick it‘d probably be a pretty forgettable beat ‘em up. I mean, nothing gameplay-wise actually sticks out, it‘s mainly the presentation/thematic elements/violence that seem to make this stand out. It’s, to me, kind of like Mortal Kombat in that way, except that while those games do hold some nostalgic value to me, having played ‘em at arcades/friends’ houses, I actually think Splatterhouse is the better game. It’s just that playing it for the first time only relatively recently it doesn’t feel like anything special to me. I’ll definitely be keeping tabs on the new version of Splatterhouse though,. Let’s see where it goes, eh?

Oh, and Jason would totally kick Rick’s ass, he doesn‘t have to worry about running out of continues…


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