As any true bro knows, there's trouble in brorum paradise. I'm sure you've seen the comics and micro-games. If you haven't, go check out the other Forum Adventures blogs. I'm not here to rehash the rivalry, I'm here to show show you how it all ends. Through advanced technology I've been able to divine the aftermath of Gyrael and Gobun's epic struggle. Look below if you feel prepared.

Love,
ZombiePlatypus







Also, cocks.

So here goes my entry for Aborto’s Comic-Con swag contest, because I could really use a Deadpool magnet, among other things.





Top spot goes to Deadpool. Not only is he my favorite comic character, but he’d really be great in a fighting game regardless. If done right he’d have a good mix of ranged and melee attacks, what with his expertise with guns and swords. Then there’s the healing factor that’ll keep him going and help make up for all of my suck and lack of fighting game prowess.





Next I’d have Taskmaster. He has a long history with Deadpool, and I really became a fan when his solo miniseries from Udon came out. They made him a total badass, and even though Marvel has decided to take him back to his Skeletor look, he’s still retained that cool factor he gained. At least in my eyes he has. I see Tasky as being something like Shang Tsung in Mortal Kombat, only instead of turning into his opponents he’d be able to mimic the move sets of anybody in the game. I’d have it work something like you being able to pick three characters' move sets to take into the fight with you before each match, since it’d be practically impossible to map and keep track of the button presses required to swap between 50+ fighting styles in the midst of a round. You’d pick Taskmaster, then select three other characters for him to ape and which of Tasky’s three predetermined slots they should go into.





The third and final character was a bit harder to settle on, and Aborto leaving it open to characters outside of Marvel and Capcom didn‘t make my decision any easier. There’s so many characters I love. Chad’s recent Memory Card on the Windfish’s Dream, and my love of Link’s Awakening in general had me leaning towards Link, but he’s gotten enough attention with all the Smash Bros games, so I’m going with Mike from StarTropics. I’ve complained before that StarTropics is all but forgotten by Nintendo, and I really want to see more from that series, so yeah… Mike. I see Mike as being average sized to relatively small compared to other fighters, with slightly above average agility. He’d have to use his island yo-yo as his default attack, giving him a medium range for most attacks. He’d have his baseball bat for heavy hitting up close attacks and his slingshot for weaker attacks from across the screen. Maybe Nav-Com (Rob) could be used in his assist, or as part of a special attack.

So, there go my picks for my three man team. What say you, Aborto?!

BLAINO





Thinking back on the various game bosses that have troubled me a handful immediately sprung to mind, but only one really stood out, Blaino. He may not be the best choice for this particular subject since he's not an out and out ass-kicker, he doesn‘t even actually kill you when he bests you, but given the chance he can be a bastard. Blaino is a mid-boss from the Turtle Rock dungeon in Link’s Awakening, my favorite Zelda game, one of my favorite games period. He’s pretty much just a penguin with boxing gloves, and isn’t much of a threat if you’re in the zone and put your charged spin to good use, but if you’re just a bit off you can be in some trouble. When Blaino connects with one of his trademark uppercuts the blow sends you sailing all the way back to the dungeon’s beginning.

I’ve played through Link’s Awakening many times, and for most of those adventures Blaino is nothing to worry about, but on a few occasions I can recall he has driven me mad. It’s happened to me as recently as this past winter. For unknown reasons, I’ll foul up and Blaino will connect with Link, sending our elven hero back to the dungeon’s entrance. From there you have the trek back to Blaino. It’s not a difficult or overly lengthy walk, but it’s long enough to give you time to think about the rematch. If you’re on top of your game you’ll take Blaino out no problems with round two, if not you’re sent through the air back to the start again. That’s when the trouble can really start. Like any good boxer, Blaino can start to get in your head.





Trudging past the same enemies and fire pits, you hope this is the last time. You think about what went wrong, and perhaps over think what needs to be done to set it right. It’s a simple game, two buttons and a d-pad are all the controls to worry about. All you need is your most basic of weapons, the sword, to take Blaino down. Yet if you get in a rut of walking to Blaino and getting socked back to do it all over you can get sloppier and it just goes downhill from there.

Like I said earlier, Blaino really isn’t a difficult boss, and I’ve beaten him many times without issue, but on those handful of times where I inexplicably just can’t help but muck up he can really drive me nuts. When that happens it’s best to just put down the GameBoy and let it go for a bit, before frustration leads to rage. So yeah, due to the above reasoning, Blaino is That One Mook for me…


Bonus: Blaino reappears later on in the Zelda series as a boxing gym proprietor in Oracle of Seasons.

I wasn't at my house for the majority of yesterday, and as such my internet time was greatly limited. Anyways, I figured that I didn't want to be the only one on Dtoid without one of these, so here goes.

1 I was born in a supposedly haunted hospital.
This old hospital at the Navy base in Portsmouth, VA. I remember seeing some shitty TV show about haunted places hosted by Rip Torn, and they talked about the place. I was a baby, so I don’t recall seeing any ghosts during my stay, but it’s still kinda cool nonetheless…
2 I was a boy scout.
From way back being a “Tiger Cub” up to becoming an Eagle Scout, I was in it all the way. It really wasn’t like you see on TV, we actually had fun. It’s where I first learned to camp, cuss and burn stuff real good. Then I moved to Minnesota and every troop I checked out was exactly like you see on TV. A bunch of coddled children in church basements, and thus I pretty much gave up on scouting…
3 I used to be smart.
I started kindergarten a year early, got straight As all throughout elementary school, spent one day each week at the “Gifted and Talented” center, all that jazz. Then I went to a Magnet School for 6th grade while all my friends went to regular one. I hated it. Surrounded by people I didn’t like, taking advanced Math (I always hated math) and mandatory Latin, it just wasn’t for me. The next year I went to the normal Jr High and discovered my love of procrastination and laziness and only briefly dabbled in the gifted program again during my first year of Sr High. I pretty much just kept my head down through the rest of my school days.
4 I love Deadpool.
Okay, so you probably do know that if you checked out my header image, but it bares repeating. Deadpool is the shit. I own every (to my knowledge) comic that he’s been in. He’s the only comic I read anymore, I stuck through various periods of writing I didn’t care for just out of sheer loyalty, and luckily he’s been written well again lately.
5 I’m getting a hedgehog within the next couple weeks.
I’ve wanted one since elementary school, and not because of Sonic either since I never owned a Sega console. I remember doing a report on ‘em for class and I’ve wanted one ever since. They just look so damn cool. One of my science teachers later on had one in the classroom, and that cemented my wanting one even more. They’re not the easiest critters to come by where I live, and animal shelters never have any so I finally decided to go through a local breeder. Cliché names like Sonic or Spike are out, but at the risk of sounding too dorky I’m leaning towards naming him Anguirus.
6 I’m a Packers fan.
VA doesn’t have a team, so I pretty much got to choose who to like. The first Super Bowl I remember actually taking an interest in was the one where the Packers beat the Patriots. I had been going against the Pats mainly because I thought their fans in the stands came across as lamer, then the Packers came away with the win and I’ve been a fan ever since. And as a Packers fan let me tell you that I for one was glad that they didn’t take Favre back when he un-retired before this season. I used to love the guy, but his schtick was getting old at the end of each season, and so long after his big teary goodbye he wanted us to kick Rogers to the curb at his whim? Fuck that.
7 I’m a huge Wild fan.
“What’s the Wild” you ask? They’re MN’s pro hockey team. If there’s a game televised you’d better believe I’m watching it. I remember going to Hampton Roads Admirals minor league games and playing some street hockey with a buddy of mine back in VA, but upon moving to MN the hockey bug really took. The Wild started at the same time I moved up here, so it was kinda perfect. I’ve only been to a handful of games in person, but I love it.
8 I have three younger brothers...
...All of whom have various levels of disabilities, mental and physical. I still get to give them typical ‘big brother” shit though, so it’s all good.
9 In the 9th-10th grade some people who didn’t really know me thought I was Canadian.
I used to watch Kids in the Hall reruns everyday after school, and I watched my VHS of Strange Brew too many times to count, and some of that rubbed off on me. I mainly blame the Strange Brew, because to this day I add “, eh” to the end of many of my sentences, and just generally use the Bob and Doug McKenzie “Canadian stereotype” inflections on certain words. It’s not something I control, it’s just something I do.
10 I saved one of my brothers from being electrocuted.
We were little so the details are sketchy in my memory, but we had been playing in a sprinkler and he went inside via our back porch. Somewhere he got sidetracked from going straight inside and ended up touching an exposed source of electricity on the porch, I can’t remember what since this was a long ass time ago. So anyways, I was heading inside and saw him standing on the back porch getting zapped and I just grabbed him and pulled, also getting a nice shock myself. He went to the hospital and was fine, and I didn’t think much of it, but apparently it could’ve been serious. I ended up getting a plaque presented to me by the mayor at one of those “kids who done good” things that cities do…