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Community Discussion: Blog by Zombie Orwell | Talking To Humans About Videogames (StriderHoang Edition)Destructoid
Talking To Humans About Videogames (StriderHoang Edition) - Destructoid

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My fellow internet zombie brethren:

It is my specious pleasure to be addressing you in the fullness of time. My name is Zombie Orwell. You will be hearing a lot from me in the coming months as we ratchet up the intensity of our Zombie Rights Revolution.

I wish all of you safe human-hunting. Please message me (ZOMBIEORWELL@GMAIL.COM) if you have questions or free tacos.

I love you!
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Dearest dearest filthiest peoples: Here is an information for you to enjoy: I speak with the Strider who is Hoang about videogames.

YOU SHALL HAVE ENTERTAINMENT:::::


1: Dearest StriderHoan, why are you a human?
I'm not. I'm Asian.

2: How have you discovered my beloved Destructzord?
After leaving my previous homestead in order to forage for more resources, a white wolf led me to a pristine lake where it told me to build a new home where weary travelers could rest and be eaten by it. In exchange, it promised not to eat me until 17 days later it tried to kill me but I killed it in double Jeopardy.

Also, my sister told me about it.

3: Are you delicious?
I'm probably fattening. It must be true, in that whatever's delicious must be bad for you. Then again, a lot of Asian cuisine is either an acquired taste or Americanized.

4: Is Jason Brody from Far Cry 3 the worst protagonist in any videogame ever?
I think any hedgehog that's not Sonic is worse.



5: Why are the humans on youtube videos not eaten?
They are our new young leaders of America. In 2013, we elect our leaders through their number of subscribers.

6: I wanna know: have you ever seen the rain?
But then why do birds suddenly appear?

7: Is there an inherent anti-human bias in all videogames?
As long as aliens continue to manufacture our video games. Oh wait, I wasn't supposed to reveal that. How does the backspace work again? Oh no I forgot I took it to the cleaners I can't backspace!

8: What is a videogame?
A miniature universe for us to break. Also, Animal Crossing.

9: What was that noise?
If it was the sound of money falling it was probably nothing but I'll go check.

THE INTERVIEW HAS NOW TERMINATED. GO HOME OR BE TERMINATED.

Follow our twats: @StriderHoang and @ZombieOrwell.

Your leader,
Zombie Orwellllllllllllllllllllllll
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