It is my specious pleasure to be addressing you in the fullness of time. My name is Zombie Orwell. You will be hearing a lot from me in the coming months as we ratchet up the intensity of our Zombie Rights Revolution.
I wish all of you safe human-hunting. Please message me (ZOMBIEORWELL@GMAIL.COM) if you have questions or free tacos.
Dearest dearest filthiest peoples: Here is an information for you to enjoy: I speak with the Strider who is Hoang about videogames.
YOU SHALL HAVE ENTERTAINMENT:::::
1: Dearest StriderHoan, why are you a human? I'm not. I'm Asian.
2: How have you discovered my beloved Destructzord? After leaving my previous homestead in order to forage for more resources, a white wolf led me to a pristine lake where it told me to build a new home where weary travelers could rest and be eaten by it. In exchange, it promised not to eat me until 17 days later it tried to kill me but I killed it in double Jeopardy.
Also, my sister told me about it.
3: Are you delicious? I'm probably fattening. It must be true, in that whatever's delicious must be bad for you. Then again, a lot of Asian cuisine is either an acquired taste or Americanized.
4: Is Jason Brody from Far Cry 3 the worst protagonist in any videogame ever? I think any hedgehog that's not Sonic is worse.
5: Why are the humans on youtube videos not eaten? They are our new young leaders of America. In 2013, we elect our leaders through their number of subscribers.
6: I wanna know: have you ever seen the rain? But then why do birds suddenly appear?
7: Is there an inherent anti-human bias in all videogames? As long as aliens continue to manufacture our video games. Oh wait, I wasn't supposed to reveal that. How does the backspace work again? Oh no I forgot I took it to the cleaners I can't backspace!
8: What is a videogame? A miniature universe for us to break. Also, Animal Crossing.
9: What was that noise? If it was the sound of money falling it was probably nothing but I'll go check.
THE INTERVIEW HAS NOW TERMINATED. GO HOME OR BE TERMINATED.