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Prongles Badviews: Red Dead Redemption - Destructoid

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My fellow internet zombie brethren:

It is my specious pleasure to be addressing you in the fullness of time. My name is Zombie Orwell. You will be hearing a lot from me in the coming months as we ratchet up the intensity of our Zombie Rights Revolution.

I wish all of you safe human-hunting. Please message me (ZOMBIEORWELL@GMAIL.COM) if you have questions or free tacos.

I love you!
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Many times during the duration of our enduring lives and subsequent post-lives, those among us who keep firmly planted amongst the withering candles and metaphorical swamps of debate, we stumble blithely upon crazy fucking shit.
Such is the case with Red Dead Redemption.

This game contains horses.

Guns.

Humans.

Zombie DLC.

What does this mean for the purple-ness of my prose? It allows me to sponsor another Prongles Badview.

This game was developed under cover of darkness, by candlelight, in the year 1845. It takes place in 1910. Thusly, the developers correctly predicted the Mexican Revolution as well as the death of the Old West. The protagonizer, John Marston, is a human who maintains insistence that a family will flourish whenceupon he discovers their whereabouts.

He kills people. He rides horses. Then he goes to Mexico and kills people. In Spanish. And he rides horses in Spanish.

That is very impressive. Therefore I give Red Dead Redemptor 7 Prongles out of 10 Prongles.

Your leader,
Zombie Orwell



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