It is my specious pleasure to be addressing you in the fullness of time. My name is Zombie Orwell. You will be hearing a lot from me in the coming months as we ratchet up the intensity of our Zombie Rights Revolution.
I wish all of you safe human-hunting. Please message me (ZOMBIEORWELL@GMAIL.COM) if you have questions or free tacos.
You already know everything about me. You know where I live, you know my status as a post-deceased citizen, you know I'm the most Orwellian being ever to grace this lovely website, you know that The Devastation And Destruction Of Destructoid will all end in tears (and nudity).
But there might be one small thing you don't know.
I watched you fap. And also I am drafting a new Constitution for the Dzord. I have already posted one law. More will follow. Anybody found in flagrant violation of the Constitution shall be flogged and devoured.
I am the zombie who is Orwell (who is me). I have fury. And I'm way more important than Hamza CTZ Aziz (AKA Hamzaberg). He answers to me.†
You may now take this time to smoke a cigarette while asking me Orwellian questions.