Note: iOS 9 + Facebook users w/ trouble scrolling: #super sorry# we hope to fix it asap. In the meantime Chrome Mobile is a reach around
hot  /  reviews  /  videos  /  cblogs  /  qposts


Zombie Orwell blog header photo

Zombie Orwell's blog

  Make changes   Set it live in the post manager. Need help? There are FAQs at the bottom of the editor.
Zombie Orwell avatar 10:44 PM on 06.09.2013  (server time)
E3: The Zombor Predictions.

This week we shall see the beginnings middles and endings of a festival called E-Threepio (or "E3" as the kids say). It is the Electrical Education Expo. Despite the name, they only allow videogames to be exposited.

Go fig.

A bunch of idiot humans have given their stupid opinions on what will happen. They are all wrong. Only I, the zombie who is Orwell (who is me), have the correct predictions. Let's go!

1: Filthy humans will finally be allowed to develop videogames for other filthy humans. This is largely seen as a negative, but I consider it a positive. It means that humans will be too busy playing videogames to notice that I am shambling ever closer to their delicious brain cavities. More food for Zombie Orwell.

2: Eiffel 65.

3: Xbone and PS4 will have videogames involving shoehorned multiplayer and boring cover systems.

4: EA will keep pissing on the graves of its franchises.

5: Konami will have an amazing conference, as usual.

6: GTAV will be GTAIV plus 1.

7: The Rains of Castamere will begin to play during Nintendo's conference.

8: Geoff Keighghelleye will say words.

9: Gametrailers bores me to tears. I will be pissing tears of blood.

10. IGN will give it a 7 out of 10.

11: Shenmue 3 will be announced as a crossover with Red Dead Redemption 2. But it will be published by EA.

12: Half Life 3 will never come out.

13: Dr Dre's Detox will never come out.

14: Tupac is still alive.

15: Marilyn Monroe is Tupac.

16: John Marston in Marilyn Monroe.

17: I meant to type "is" in that previous sentence, but I left the typo because it's better that way.

18: Someone MUST write Monroe/Marston slashfic and post it here on the cblogs.


Your leader,
Zombie Orwell.

   Reply via cblogs

Get comment replies by email.     settings

Unsavory comments? Please report harassment, spam, and hate speech to our comment moderators

Can't see comments? Anti-virus apps like Avast or some browser extensions can cause this. Easy fix: Add   [*]   to your security software's whitelist.

Back to Top

We follow moms on   Facebook  and   Twitter
  Light Theme      Dark Theme
Pssst. Konami Code + Enter!
You may remix stuff our site under creative commons w/@
- Destructoid means family. Living the dream, since 2006 -