It is my specious pleasure to be addressing you in the fullness of time. My name is Zombie Orwell. You will be hearing a lot from me in the coming months as we ratchet up the intensity of our Zombie Rights Revolution.
I wish all of you safe human-hunting. Please message me (ZOMBIEORWELL@GMAIL.COM) if you have questions or free tacos.
You love Dtoid. You love the cblogs. You love chocolate. But do you love the lack of Shenmue 3 content on the cblogs?
No. You don't love it. You hate it. It is the single worst aspect of everything ever ever. It's not even slightly Orwellian.
What can be done about this?
I have scoured my prescient mind for answers to this terrible question. I have communed with the Greek gods. I have communed with the Norse gods. I have communed with the Mayan gods. They all say the same thing. They say it with a force of convictions that startles my radically intelligent brain-aparatus. Here is what they spout from their mighty cerebellums.
Yes, I know. That's exactly what we all expected them to say. So here's the deal. We shall now be havings a new law for the Destructzord cblogs. This new law must not be broken ever. Ever.
Here is the new law: All blogs heretoforthwithly must needs make it topmost priority to discuss any aspect of Shenmue 3. These aspects include: its beauty, its wonder, its cultural significance, its importance among the truly knowledgeable, and the amount to which it makes Half Life 3 entirely irrelevant and unnecessary.
Nothing is more important than Shenmue 3. Not even Shake Weights.
I, the zombie who is Orwell (who is me) shall take it upon myself to enforce this new law. All articles found to be in violation of Article 3.A.1.b will be deleted and replaced with pictures of Shenmue. Or cows.