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Zombie Orwell's blog

4:56 PM on 08.09.2015

I somehow have the ability to give 34 faps.

HELLO DEAREST FELLOW READERS. My name is Zombie Orwell. You may know me from such legendary Cblogs as Help I Can't Find My Jar Of Pickles and I Somehow Have The Ability To Give 34 Faps. Well, I'm back again sort of like Emine...   read

8:20 PM on 06.22.2015

Why Shenmue is better than Jesus and you’re an idiot if you disagree.

There's a lot of discussion about Shenmue 3 and Kickstarter lately, but there is only one correct opinion. So shut the fuck up for a minute and learn something, you asshole. You’re skeptical about Shenmue 3. You d...   read

10:40 PM on 03.29.2015

Let's break the internet together!

I'm stepping out of character for a second. Anyone who doesn't like it is a fat, one-armed comedian. Also an idiot. There's a battle raging right on the internet right now. Wait, I mean there are a hundred million battle...   read

1:24 PM on 02.19.2015

This is how Destructoid will fall. (sexy pics included)

Dearest filthy perverts, please sit down in a chair. Prepare your cerebellums for maximum Orwellian exposure and tactical informations. We here at Dtoid have lost many comrades. A lesser writer would say we've lost many ...   read

8:39 PM on 01.28.2015

How historically accurate is Mass Effect? Pt 1

HELLOO AND WELCOME to another exciting and arousing edition of the zombie who is Orwell (who is me)'s prescient and Orwellian series which is Orwellianly called How Stoically Accurate Is Massive FX? It's all about the T&...   read

11:10 AM on 11.22.2014

How dare Dtoid not spend all its budget covering #GOMERGOAT forevers!?

I am white anglo boy of 21 years or maybe more or maybe less but I never go to place where people have real problem and although I will have degree in some science topic that will pay lots and keepme comfortable enough t...   read

4:12 PM on 11.03.2014

Skullfucking the Great American Novel.

We all love Gatsby, right? The prose is damn near perfect. The end of Chapter One sends shivers crawling around your temples. And that end; boats against the current and shit. Good shit. Fitzgerald was a god. But Game o...   read

11:08 PM on 11.01.2014

How To Seduce Like A Terrorist, part one.

Why hello I did not see you come in. I was too busy being both seductive and terrifying. You see, I am the terrorist who also is an amazing pick up artist. That is highly cool and unique. Anywho, let's get down to brass ...   read

1:36 PM on 10.29.2014

Dreamweaver inspired this blog.

Hello Dtoid. The charming zombie character I created is going to shut up for a minute because I need to spill some real talk. Some hot fire. Some mad education. I feel confident saying most of you fit in one or more of t...   read

3:11 PM on 10.18.2014

The most important thing on the internet.

Yes, yes. Lots of scandal. So many SadBoners.   In other news, here's a comedy: That picture is more important than your shitty scandal-of-the-week.   Also that one.     Your leader, Zombie Orwell   read

2:34 PM on 05.24.2014

10 things they don't want you to know about Jet Set Radio

Hey Dtoid. Let's face it: this website is obviously run by Illuminati Bilderberg New World Order Knights Templar Masons. I mean, c'mon; pretty obvious, right? Niero killed JFK by transforming himself into several bullets. Wha...   read

10:56 PM on 05.10.2014

Pictures of cows

This is where I introduce the blog. Hello everybody. This is a special blog made spontaneously for the Dzord. Lately there has been a lot of sadness and angst and hostility and other words on my favorite website. I'm not g...   read

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